I agree with VP about getting your dh to take time off and getting out of the house every day.
Unlike VP tho I had 2 under 2 with no daycare and now I have 3.5yo with me FT and my baby. I have insomnia atm so running on 2-4hrs sleep most nights. DEFINITELY recommend leaving the house every day. Also recommend exercise to keep you going.
Lots of hugs lovedy.
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26-02-2016 06:49 #161
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26-02-2016 07:05 #162
Thanks all. Feeling a bit more positive now. Got out my planner to start a plan of attack to improve things that I CAN control- ie looking after myself.
Going to get a subscription to some trashy magazines. I enjoy reading but books are just out at the moment with a zero concentration span.
I am going to knock off certain unhealthy habits that I've picked up again, such as not eating. Will do a strict meal plan- starting out in small amounts- of healthy and nourishing food that is easy to prep, such as bananas. Will do an online shop this afternoon.
I will start doing my daily to do list of household chores again. I have let it slide since being tired but seeing a bombsite and no organization makes me feel out of control.
I love yoga and meditation but haven't done it in a long time. I have an awesome meditation app and will devote 15 minutes in the evening when the kids are sleeping to doing that.
I should also probably stop spending hours ****ing time away on my phone.
Mondays I take the kids to visit the elderly at work. Tuesdays is toddler time at the library. Wednesday or Thursday I will arrange for Nanna to visit or take dd1 out (it depends on if she is free she babysits my nieces some days). The other day I will either visit my SIL or MIL or go to the local mall in the morning. If I don't feel like heading out I will cook with dd1. (DD1 hates the park- she is such a girly girl lol). Friday is daycare and rest day with dd2.
Rightio. Feeling better already. Just need to stick to it.
26-02-2016 07:12 #163
Big hugs to you. I'm feeling similarly overwhelmed ATM with my only child! It's great to plan, and it helps my mindset a lot. Just don't put too much pressure on yourself to do all of the planning today when you're already tired!
I agree - take your DH's offer up and rest. Get some sunlight and trashy TV into you. One day of downtime can make a world of difference.
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26-02-2016 07:21 #164
I def find it helps having things organised for every day, for me it's different playgroups every morning so it gives me some routine and adult conversation (even if it is just about babies!). In the afternoons I try to go out somewhere whether it's the park, shopping centre (this is the plan most days!) or I try to meet with other mums and kids for play date for ds1 who is 2. One place I've found great is the museum as it has a children's section, ds loves to just run around the rest as it's usually fairly quiet, and it's nice and cool when it's hot weather outside. We bought a yearly pass so I prob go at least once a week, it's always my go to option when I have no plans or it's too hot to do something outdoors.
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26-02-2016 07:42 #165-
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26-02-2016 08:59 #166
Yep take the help. I've been there and I told my sister not to bother driving 3 hours that I would be fine. She insisted and I'm sooooo glad she did. Omg take the help.
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26-02-2016 13:40 #167
Not sleeping and not coping- help
It's so so hard for me to admit that I'm struggling. I didn't accept the help today as I know DH is loathe to chuck sickies especially on Fridays, and it's the weekend tomorrow. I would ask him to do a morning on the weekends but honestly he is not a morning person and acts like he's such a hero for doing it I can't stand it. And he really seems to struggle with the two of them on his own, the poor thing. He really finds the newborn and early baby phase difficult as he's not quite sure what to do with them (me too!)
An update on childcare- it's locked in and paperwork done Dd1 LOVED orientation and I had to drag her away. She even ran off for a bit on her own, which is great as she is not independent at all at home, always seeking my attention and interaction, so that was a relief. I'm feeling a bit sad and guilty though, silly as that is.
Last edited by Little Miss Sunshine; 26-02-2016 at 13:52.
26-02-2016 13:51 #168
I know how you feel LMS I am someone who used to really struggle to ask for help. My mother was a martyr though and I find it an incredibly unattractive quality so really try and not be the same. When I need help I ask for it. And I feel so much better knowing I'm supported.
I'm at a different stage now as for me it's the constant juggle of work, kids and home with no family support. DH is away all of next week and I'm honestly dreading it. The kids just have so much on at school and it's going to be exhausting. So I've sent up the flag and called for help. And it's come in buckets. I have to write it all down to keep track.
Take care and try not to feel guilty about childcare. This is a new stage of life for your eldest and one she's clearly ready for.
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26-02-2016 14:02 #169
Yes I also hate asking for help, but it is sometimes a necessity in order to recharge. I don't count asking my dh to pitch in as asking for help though, they are his responsibility too. Since our youngest was born 3.5 months ago dh has woken at 5am every sat and sun and he takes all 3 kids while I sleep. He wouldnt dream of asking for a sleep in considering I am up all night every night with our baby.
Your dh feeling 'lost' with the baby is normal but not a good enough excuse to leave you functioning on empty. He needs to step up and find his way with her. The more he does it the more confidence he will have.
26-02-2016 14:13 #170
I'm not sure if you're breastfeeding and can be away from baby but if you can, is it possible for your DH to take the kids to his parents for the day? My DH isn't confident with our two on his own, so to give mea rest last weekend he took them both around to his parents place for the day. That way he had plenty of help and I had a really good rest. I didn't realise how much I needed that day to recharge until afterwards.
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