11 year gap with me and my brother.. we have nothing in common.. i felt forgotten about as well when he came along right up until i got married. i was also the convenient babysitter therefore never really enjoyed my teen years.
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01-02-2016 10:53 #11Senior Member
- Join Date
- Feb 2012
- Brisbane North
01-02-2016 11:10 #12Senior Member
- Join Date
- Jul 2015
There's an 18 yr age gap between my youngest brother and I (20 yrs between my older brother and the youngest). Of course the sibling relationship is different than those growing up closer in age. I love him in a different, more protective I guess. We've only lived under the same roof for about 10 months when he was born as I moved out... But love it when he comes to visit and sleepover for the weekend. He's excited to be a 6yr old uncle to my first child due later this year.
I think it can turn out lovely. I actually don't have anything in common with my older brother who is 2 yrs older than me, so I don't think having children closer in age means they're growing to grow up with more in common or get along better! It just comes down to the individual personalities.
01-02-2016 14:19 #13
There is a ten year gap between my sister and I. There were pros and cons when we were growing up. My sister was a big help to my mum in terms of helping care for me. She would bottle feed me, help change my nappy and play with me. She was in high school when I started primary school and she had her own friends so she didn't really have time for me. But my mum basically had a baby sitter 24/7. If my parents wanted to go out to dinner they could just leave me with my sister.
I can't remember every feeling lonely because of the age gap. I had lots of neighborhood friends my own age so I was always playing with them. Now we are both grown adults, her kids are in primary school and mine are under 3. So she was a great help with advice etc, plus I got all her old baby stuff when she was done and She drops a bag of her kids old shoes and clothes off to me every six months. It's great.
01-02-2016 15:24 #14
I'm the younger child of an 11yr gap.
it was great growing up with two much older siblings. once they got their licenses they loved driving, and i got taken places! We sort of grew apart there for a bit but I've now become quite close with my sibling 15yrs older in the last couple of years
01-02-2016 15:55 #15
I think it really comes down to the personalities of the individuals. I have a sibling almost 10 years older than me and we are very close! Funnily enough, personality-wise we are the most similar out of all our siblings, so despite being in different life stages we have always had a lot in common (e.g. sense of humour, how we react to things, even facial expressions!). I have siblings closer to my age that I'm not as close to due to our personality types (don't get me wrong, they are great but we are quite different from each other). I don't think there are any hard and fast rules when it comes to age gaps
01-02-2016 17:22 #16
Thanks for all your answers it's good to see different sides of it. I will do my best to make her feel included with everything and I agree it depends on personality also. If anything in hoping it will bring me even closer to dd as I will be able to be at home and pick her up from school and spend more time with her, instead of working full time and coming home tired, will see how it goes 😀
01-02-2016 17:48 #17
We had our first when I was 17, DH was 19. It wasn't until I was 29 (and DS 12) that we finally welcomed our second child.
DS is now 16, DD 3, and the bond between them is incredible. He absolutely cherishes his little sister and is just amazing with her.
For me, I'd avoided having a second baby because I'd suffered debilitating depression and anxiety after my first baby; I'd had it since childhood but the reality of becoming a mum so young magnified it and for the first 5 years of his life I was in a very low state and, while I reveled in motherhood and found it came quite natural, my anxiety was out of control (I've since discovered that I was suffering with post natal psychosis at one stage) so much so that I swore off ever having another baby.
All through my second pregnancy I feared I'd get it again. I was resigned to the fact that I'd be an absolute mess mentally after she was born and my OB and doctors had it on file and I was monitored throughout my pregnancy and after the birth. Miraculously, the dreaded anxiety never came. I was walking on air the minute she was born and to be honest, I wish I'd done it sooner. I would have loved to have had two close in age but the thought petrified me.
The age gap hasn't been an issue for my kids. Obviously the dynamics are different than they would have been if I'd had them a couple of years apart, but they are best friends. DD adores her big brother and they are beautiful together. She has changed our lives, while at one point I couldn't fathom having another child, I just cannot imagine life without her.
01-02-2016 18:12 #18
There is almost 12 years between my younger sister & I. To be honest I pity my mother for having a terrible two & terrible teen at the same time! But I think that was mostly due to family issues at the time. My Dad had not long moved overseas, and my sister's dad was just an awful person.
Now that we're older though we get along like the best of friends!
She has always said though that it was like growing up as an only child.
But I don't think any of those reasons are reasons not to have another child if you really want one ☺
01-02-2016 18:47 #19
Oh ya the convenient babysitter thing, don't do that. Hated that.
01-02-2016 19:03 #20
12 year gap??
It must depends on the personality of the child(ren) involved.
One of my best friend has a 11yr gap and she welcomed her new sister like the best thing that ever happened in her life.
She helped "raise" her little sister and loved that role. They've always been very closed and to this day are the best friends.
I envy their relationship!
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