So - recently on our local BSS on FB there was a post about a young child and her father and the father was found going through rubbish bins looking for food to feed his daughter. He is a much older father and mum is no-where to be seen.
Naturally everyone stepped up to help however a few people expressed concerns that perhaps this needs to be reported to Child Services as this parent is obviously needs support. Those that expressed this where shot down by the masses.
I work in child health and had great concerns and contacted a PM saying I though this was a bit odd - either it is a troll getting lots of free stuff for her kids and if not - this is quite a serious issue. I suggested that in future perhaps these posts should be limited to be being provided with relevant support services and those wishing to donate can contact directly. well, she basically told me that I was completely wrong, that it's not odd everyone wants to help , he is doing his best and it is concerning that I can't see the good in people etc etc. I replied well sometimes circumstances fall so that someone's best is just not enough and it is the child that pays the price and what will happen to this child when she has grown out of the donated shoes etc. They need a proper management plan in place that is sustainable. Welfare do not jut waltz in and take children - they try and provide all support services first. I was not rude or insulting - but I was ( and am) very blunt and laid the facts bare ( not on the open site but via PM) Anyway - she blocked me from the site!
I am furious - not only has the original poster broken the law due to mandatory reporting requirements but there is a child out there someone where whose is living in a situation in that her 60 year old father could only feed her from a bin. Oh - but she will have donated shoes and clothes. I am ****ed off I have been blocked and I am worried for this child. have I done the wrong thing? Should I have just donated my kids old toys like everyone else, patted myself on the back and left them to it? Sorry - bit for the long vent but I am steaming about this!!!!
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29-01-2016 10:29 #1
Am I in the wrong??? Blocked from our BSS for being concerned for a child!
29-01-2016 10:47 #2
No, you did the right thing and I would say you are right to be concerned. I would feel very similar to you. It's the old give a man a fish analogy. Also people's fear of DHS/DOCS and the removal of children. People don't realise how bad things have to be to have a child removed from the primary care giver. Can you say to the admin than as a health professional you are a mandatory reporter and that this situation would meet the requirements for a mandatory report if you came across them in your work?
I really struggle with those bss/mums groups etc. some of the stuff posted is so inappropriate. I work in a fairly controversial area of health (sexual health) and I hate it when someone asks about termination of pregnancy. They get so many awful answers, and I feel bound by my company policy to not engage in social media, so try not to engage in moral conversations. Often I will post a link to local sexual health and family planning organisations in the hopes that the original poster will find some decent information.
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29-01-2016 10:57 #3
I did actually say that if this child came across my path by law I would be required to report this. She claims to have worked in children's services for 40 years but I don't actually believe her or she would have more knowledge on it. I have a friend that works for our local paper and wants to do a story on it LOL. I won't take it that far - but I would like to!! Yes - due to my work place I didn't write on the main site hence the PM.
29-01-2016 10:58 #4
No you did the right thing this family does need reporting and the father obviously need help, unless of course as you suggested may be trolling. There is help available to him if willing to accept it is not safe to be searching bins for food
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29-01-2016 11:05 #5
I think a BSS group, is buy sell swap?? I think you have done the right thing, and I wonder if there is some avenue for you to report this situation from the site, I mean actually follow up and find this man and daughter? it seems to be a desperate situation that needs to be helped, and helped beyond passing over second hand toys or shoes. good luck, marie.
29-01-2016 11:07 #6
Sorry yes it is Buy Swap Sell - Thank you all. So not only did she disagree with me she blocked me. I can't work out how to get myself unblocked. I guess try and contact another admin who is a bit more reasonable. I love my BSS!! ( Hubby is happy actually so I can't by any more crap LOL). I can't get on at all now so need to get over that hurdle first.
29-01-2016 15:06 #7Senior Member
- Join Date
- Jun 2015
neglect is neglect, rooting through rubbish bins for food is failure to provide basic foods, it is neglect.
the father needs to be referred on to appropriate support people and reported to cafs
29-01-2016 17:25 #8
I know. And when I pointed that out I get blocked from the group. How does that work. ?
29-01-2016 18:10 #9
Is the BSS on facebook?? If so..set up another account with a different name/email address & get back into the group that way maybe???
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29-01-2016 18:25 #10
You def did the right thing. I'd contact another admin like you said. Sounds like the one you were talking to is a bit off in her thinking. I'm an admin on our page, and I would have been on your side! I did used to work for DOCS though, but I can't see our other admin blocking someone because they expressed concern for a child!
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