I'm 20, 27 weeks and a FTM... I don't have any pre-pregnancy friends.. I have made friends with some expectant mums and already mums.. Two of my new found friends have had their babies in December and January.. I caught up with one of the ladies today and met her new little man for the first time (3 weeks old)... She already has two other children and was quite confident in letting me hold the newborn.. I however was not so confident.. I've never held a baby so young/small before.. Of course I wanted to.. I had the urge to just grab and snuggle but my anxieties held me back... I'm not worried that this will be a problem when my own little lady arrives... however my husband said I had embarrassed him (he has five other children) by not taking the baby straight away.. After we parted ways (I ended up having a hold of the little Bub with no worries) and my husband and I were alone, he told me it's not normal to feel nervous about holding a baby and I needed to speak to somebody.. He said he's worried that it may grow into not even being able to breastfeed or have the 'mothering nature' that should come naturally.. I tried to explain to him that I did WANT to hold the bub and it was just a feeling of nervousness but he insists that its not normal...
When I was holding the baby it felt completely normal and natural and my anxieties fell away..
I don't know how to convey this to my husband to make him feel better..
Is it abnormal? Should I speak to a professional??
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23-01-2016 21:23 #1
Nervous about holding newborn..
23-01-2016 21:36 #2
Nervous about holding newborn..
your husband is being ridiculous. a bit of anxiety is totally normal. I hate it when people offer me a hold of their bub, esp if I'm standing up! I'm always terrified I'll drop the baby! esp the smaller they are, the worse the anxiety!
I'll be the same with my own I'm sure (currently 35 weeks). we have stairs at home and I'm freaking out already how to get up and down stairs with bub as I like to hold the railing when I go up and down.
the fear is probably a little irrational but stems from inexperience and a fear of hurting something so little.
you'll get over it once bub arrives, as I'm sure I will. I think your husband is being a bit intolerant towards you.
Last edited by turquoisecoast; 23-01-2016 at 21:40.
23-01-2016 21:44 #3
23-01-2016 21:46 #4
I think totally normal! How are you supposed to feel comfortable instantly with something you have never experienced before? You will be fine when your own DD arrives. Hopefully the midwives in your hospital will give you lots of help and practical advice with feeding, changing, bathing, settling etc. Remember it's ok to ask them for help if you're not sure of what to do.
I come from a big extended family so had been around lots of babies. DH had never held a baby let alone a newborn until we had DD and he was a perfectly competent father from Day 1.
23-01-2016 21:50 #5
There's nothing abnormal about your initial hesitation at all. Holding someone else's tiny, precious newborn, no matter how many kids you have /have not held previously, can be a nerve racking, daunting experience! Completely normal OP. This does not reflect on your ability to breast feed/love /hold your own child at all.
Maybe your hubby should "see someone" o_0
23-01-2016 21:54 #6
I am almost 34 weeks along with my 3rd, how ever it's been 10 years in between rodeos lol...though I can tell you when I had my first daughter, I was very nervous and scared about picking her up. But babies are tougher than they look...you won't break bubs
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23-01-2016 21:56 #7Senior Member
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- Feb 2012
Nothing wrong with how you feel at all. I never held babies before my own, but once I had DD it was just natural. Even now that DD is 3, I still don't hold other babies.
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23-01-2016 21:56 #8
Your husband's being a ****.
You're about to have his baby. He should be trying to understand your point of view and support you, even if he doesn't feel the same way...not making you feel abnormal and telling you that you embarrassed him!
23-01-2016 22:01 #9-
- Join Date
- Dec 2015
23-01-2016 22:07 #10
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