I thought it was important until we had a child together, now it seems totally insignificant - we've already made a public, life-long commitment to one another by having a baby. Also I hate parties, and gifts, and fancy dress so weddings aren't particularly appealing to me
But what's important in my or anyone else's relationship is completely irrelevant to your own! I hope you and your partner can work it out.
+ Reply to Thread
Results 11 to 20 of 95
23-01-2016 18:32 #11
23-01-2016 18:47 #12
I think marriage is important to me as it's a signal of a firm commitment. I don't know how i'd feel having kids (my first at least!!) if I wasn't married to dh.
weddings themselves I see as a little bit pointless. I look back at ours and it was lovely but it was a lot of fuss and money and for what, one day? but I think it's hard to go through the marriage process without somehow getting pressured into doing a wedding.
for me, I felt married to dh even before the wedding. so my feelings and headspace didn't change after the wedding. but I'm glad we're married. I'm not sure any of this makes sense, not even to me, but I'm struggling to articulate it.
bottom line, yes, marriage is important to me.
23-01-2016 18:48 #13
It was important to me - not for religious reasons, but I wanted to be married before we had a child. I wanted DH to be more than 'my boyfriend' - I just wanted that legal level of commitment.
I do agree that having a child with someone is much more of a commitment than marriage. Once a child comes into any relationship, there's a serious tie to that other person.
What other couples choose is their business and I have no judgement or views on what anyone else should do. There are many long term committed couples who will never marry and they are happier and more committed than many married folks!
23-01-2016 19:03 #14
23-01-2016 19:11 #15Senior Member
- Join Date
- Jun 2015
not at all, happy to be single forever
If I do ever repartner and decide to marry it'll be a registry office and bbq
23-01-2016 19:22 #16Senior Member
- Join Date
- Mar 2012
It seemed important at the time and I'm happy to be married, but I can totally understand that it's not a necessity for, and certainly not a guarantee of, a long-term committed relationship. And likewise, marriage doesn't guarantee this either.
23-01-2016 19:26 #17
Funny that this topic should come up, my 2 year old asked me yesterday "why do you wear that ring" and I said "because daddy loves me" and I thought that sent a gifts = love message so tried to explain that mummy and daddy love each other very much and this ring shows that we love each other forever. Which got me thinking that if I didn't have this ring (i.e. We weren't married), would I love him any less or be less committed to him? Absolutely not, and same for him to me. So whilst I liked the idea of having a wedding at the time and I certainly don't regret marrying him, now that I've been married for 4+ years, marriage is just not that much of a big deal to me. I know plenty of people who lead similar lives to us and are just as happy not being married.
The Following User Says Thank You to JR03 For This Useful Post:
23-01-2016 19:32 #18
It was never important to me until I met DH and especially after DD was born I just knew it was what I wanted but can not really explain why. Having said all that my parents didn't get married until I was 22 so that could be why marriage never seemed important to me when I was younger.
23-01-2016 19:45 #19
Not important at all. Marriage guarantees nothing and in my own personal opinion the commitment is not anymore valid then one of couples who are not married (or legally can not be married). Signing a bit of paper does not mean you are anymore committed than someone who chooses to be in a long term relationship. Love, commitment, respect, honesty and the hell bent idea that you are going to make it work through thick and thin comes from the heart and soul.
However if it's very important to you and not important to your partner than why not do something that means a lot to your other half. If it's a just a bit of paper to him then sign the paper to keep you happy.
The Following User Says Thank You to Janesmum123 For This Useful Post:
23-01-2016 19:48 #20
It was very important to me. I explained to my now husband that it was the deliberateness of choosing to get married that appealed to me... You can't just 'fall in' to a marriage but you can fall into a relationship/living together.
I wanted to deliberately make a decision that this was the person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, rather than being the person I sort of fell into a relationship with.
You can do that without marriage but for me/us that was how we chose to make that commitment.
By bigbangtheory in forum Feeling aloneReplies: 12Last Post: 24-07-2015, 11:29
By rubytuesday24 in forum Family & FriendsReplies: 3Last Post: 16-03-2015, 12:44
By SpecialPatrolGroup in forum General ChatReplies: 25Last Post: 28-01-2015, 22:58
TPS Health Physiotherapy and PilatesTPS Health Physiotherapy and Pilates has three clinics located at Morningside, Redlands and Lutwyche. We offer pre and ...
LATESTToilet training: when is the best time to start?Why it is OK for your child to be differentWhat is a blessing way? How is it different to a baby shower?
POPULARWhen can I start giving chores to my children?New baby nursery checklist – a guide to newborn essentialsWhat to pack for labour and hospital – a checklist
FORUMS - chatting now ...
any one else get a bfp after laparoscopy?Endometriosis Chat
Missed miscarriage... waiting, waiting, waitingPregnancy Loss Support
Flying with a 7 month old - overnight or during day better?General Parenting Tips, Advice & Chat
Am I the only thread killer??General Chat
April/May TTC group chatConception & Fertility General Chat
Selling your house privately...General Chat
Mixed slumber partyGeneral Chat
What are our chances??pregnancy and babies through IVF
Cashless society - all for it, or disagree?General Chat