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  1. #241
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    No savings. ..he has spent that on gambling. ..
    No assets I have a car in my name in finance ..
    Kids 12.... 8.... 5

  2. #242
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    You can support yourself. You have a job. You can do this.

    Phone Centrelink on Monday.

    Ask them what you would be entitled to.

    If you have no savings, enquire about a Centrelink advance and use that as your bond on a rental.

    When my exdh started diverting his pay to another bank account, we had gotten to the point of no return. Don't procrastinate on this one. He is setting you up for financial ruin.

    ETA - contact a DV counselling service and ask about shelter placements. That may be a way that you can leave immediately.

    At the very least, change your internet banking passwords or open up completely new bank accounts that he does not know about and have your pay deposited into that. Cancel your credit card and either get a new one or a debit card on your account. He has proven that he is not trustworthy with your financial details.

    As an aside, it was very smart of you to subscribe to the Veeda alert.
    Last edited by SSecret Squirrel; 20-02-2016 at 10:06.

  3. The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to SSecret Squirrel For This Useful Post:

    KitiK  (20-02-2016),Mod-Degrassi  (20-02-2016),Mrs Tickle  (20-02-2016),SuperGranny  (24-02-2016),Wise Enough  (20-02-2016)

  4. #243
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    You need to close the card! Even married it's illegal to be taking out credit in someone else's name.

    OP I understand the impact of being in an emotionally abusive relationship. I get it. But what is your deal breaker? Will there ever be a point that his actions will signal you to leave? Now he's doing his usual emotional blackmail of saying he's leaving and you can make it on your own so you come crawling back like you are at fault.

    Be strong. Call his bluff. Take the money he has deposited, stay with someone and use it to pay for a bond.

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    Mrs Tickle  (20-02-2016),Nemmi1987  (20-02-2016)

  6. #244
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    I would use this incident as the nail in the coffin and make immediate plans to get away from this man. You really must end it.

    He has a gambling problem and he's out of control. You are going to end up in crippling debt if you stay. He is resorting to underhanded tactics to get a hold on more money to gamble. How far will he go? What next?

    If he had any ounce of love and respect for you and the children he would seek help for his gambling addiction.

    And the gambling is just one of his many examples of d!ck behaviour. I can't fathom how he still has a wife.

  7. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Mod-Degrassi For This Useful Post:

    Summer  (20-02-2016),Wise Enough  (20-02-2016)

  8. #245
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mrs Tickle View Post
    Yep. My mother. That's her all over.
    Me too, was about to start a thread as she's being very difficult at the moment

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    Mrs Tickle  (20-02-2016)

  10. #246
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    Do it, Summer. I just deleted my comment because I thought it may not have been on topic and didn't want to offend. Happy to swap stories with you

  11. #247
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    Look forward op! Pull out everything you've got right now! One life!

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    A-Squared  (20-02-2016)

  13. #248
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    What was his reasoning about only half his pay going in?

    Seriously put it all on the table with him, the holiday, the card and the pay and let it come to a head - neither of you are moving on or actually doing anything about the issues so might as well lay it all on the line - this isn't going away or getting better the way it is now.

  14. #249
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    OP. Things are only going to get worse. Not better. Like someone said - what is your deal breaker? Do you really want to live this way for the rest of your life? To have your kids subjected to this? Get out now. Make yourself a better life for you and your kids. You CAN do it. It may seem impossible, but you really can. Dig deep and make that first step. You can be free of all the negativity, control and bull$h!t.

  15. #250
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    please get out, you have a job. you can do this.
    my biggest problem when I left was I did not have a job, Ive survived, its been hard at times

    his actions are called gas lighting and theyre designed to further control and manipulate you, to make you question everything you think you know


 

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