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  1. #201
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    Could also be worth googling "narcissistic supply" - I think that's probably what you are to him.

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  3. #202
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    there's a book about codependency called women who love too much. it's very good and I think you'd benefit from reading it.

  4. #203
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    There's a book online available as a pdf version , free. It's called Why does he do that? I think you would find it really relevant to your situation .

  5. #204
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    In my experience, there are 2 main types of narcissists. The first is the attention seeking one - they are drama filled, constantly wanting validation they are the victim, want sympathy and to be the center of everyone's attention. Their sense of entitlement stems from believing everyone around them should listen/comfort/save them. They are emotional vampires. Grey stoning can work, but they tend to up the ante for attention that much the only want to be free of an attention seeking narc is by wiping them. Been there done that with someone in my life

    The second I would term the aggressive narcissist. They like to stand over people to get their own way and they really could give 2 hoots about you. You are there purely to service their needs and stroke their ego. Their sense of entitlement stems from grandiosity, you are navel lint compared to them and they will trample you. Grey rocking doesn't work with this type IME. It just enrages them, makes them unpredictable and you get labelled 'fake'. Much like the attention seekers, the only way to escape their narcissism is completely removing yourself from their life.

    Your not so dear husband is the second type. There is no fixing him.

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  7. #205
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    After typing that post I went looking if there were types of narcissists. Funly enough there are two types - vulnerable/covert and grandiose/overt pretty much exactly as I described.

    https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog...ent-challenges

    http://www.bpdcentral.com/blog/?Is-Y...ndiose-Type-22

  8. #206
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    @RuffledPansy just wanted to say good on you for continuing to a study and work in your chosen field. If you can keep it up it will provide an avenue of financial independence for you for when you eventually leave the ****. Maybe your inner voice is already telling you this and that's why you're pushing through with the study.

    Either way well done

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  10. #207
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    Quote Originally Posted by delirium View Post
    In my experience, there are 2 main types of narcissists. The first is the attention seeking one - they are drama filled, constantly wanting validation they are the victim, want sympathy and to be the center of everyone's attention. Their sense of entitlement stems from believing everyone around them should listen/comfort/save them. They are emotional vampires. Grey stoning can work, but they tend to up the ante for attention that much the only want to be free of an attention seeking narc is by wiping them. Been there done that with someone in my life

    The second I would term the aggressive narcissist. They like to stand over people to get their own way and they really could give 2 hoots about you. You are there purely to service their needs and stroke their ego. Their sense of entitlement stems from grandiosity, you are navel lint compared to them and they will trample you. Grey rocking doesn't work with this type IME. It just enrages them, makes them unpredictable and you get labelled 'fake'. Much like the attention seekers, the only way to escape their narcissism is completely removing yourself from their life.

    Your not so dear husband is the second type. There is no fixing him.
    I disagree that it doesn't work with this type of narcissist, it's especially useful for a violent or aggressive type. It is a way to aid in removing them from your life, I think it's a pretty broadly useful tool to use. It is specifically for avoiding or side stepping the narcissistic rage. There is no fixing any narcissist.

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  12. #208
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    @RuffledPansy just wanted to say good on you for continuing to a study and work in your chosen field. If you can keep it up it will provide an avenue of financial independence for you for when you eventually leave the ****. Maybe your inner voice is already telling you this and that's why you're pushing through with the study.

    Either way well done
    My two eldest children told me these very same words ....thank you I don't get told this very often if at all ...I am doing exactly that so that I can be proud when I'm done ...

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  14. #209
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    Quote Originally Posted by delirium View Post
    After typing that post I went looking if there were types of narcissists. Funly enough there are two types - vulnerable/covert and grandiose/overt pretty much exactly as I described.

    https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog...ent-challenges

    http://www.bpdcentral.com/blog/?Is-Y...ndiose-Type-22
    I saw a book a few months ago that talked about a few different types of narcissists. I love reading about this kind of thing and sat in the bookshop for a while taking it all in. didn't end up buying the book though.

    here's a link to it though

    http://www.josephburgo.com/tnyk

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    Default Have you ever been at your worst

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