I wish you the best and hope you can get out with the kids...
I am not sure where you live, but here is a link that maybe helpful http://www.dvrcv.org.au/support-serv...ional-services
Please don't be proud to call someone and ask for help. I had to swallow my pride and ask St Vinnies for a grocery voucher a couple of times when I was a single mum...but your kids come first.
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25-01-2016 18:10 #91
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25-01-2016 18:42 #92
Look your husband has mental health issues, he is likely addicted to alcohol and gambling. You will not fix him and he will not get better. He will get worse with each year. He will become more abusive, more controlling and more aggressive. There is nothing you can do to help him. Read NOTHING. He will not change men like this change maybe one in a million and even then they need to hit rock bottom in order to do so.
You are suffering for low self esteem, probably depression and anxiety as well. Men like him prey on women like you.
He will never leave you because you are too easy for him. He can do as he pleases with you. But he will threaten to leave you, he may even leave for a day or so but he will be back. It's all part of the game.
Leaving your children with him pretty much guarantees them a life of misery.
Right now the best thing you can do is take your kids and go to a women's shelter. Don't engage with him, don't tell him your leaving just vanish. If you are in a shelter you are a priority. There will be services that can help you get into accomodation. You can get access to free legal help, Centrelink, counselling and other services. They can also help you slap an AVO on him if needed.
I'm sorry if this is blunt but no one can take the first step for you. I truely hope you give yourself and your children a chance at a decent life because the consequences of staying with this scum bag are serious and life long. And your children will carry these scars into adulthood.
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25-01-2016 18:51 #93Senior Member
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- Apr 2012
Have you ever been at your worst
Last edited by Sally1981; 25-01-2016 at 21:45.
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25-01-2016 19:10 #94
25-01-2016 19:12 #95
25-01-2016 19:17 #96
25-01-2016 19:45 #97
Just leave him OP, gather up whatever strength and bit of yourself that remains inside yourself and end this poisonous pairing. Only you can do this, life is too short to live in utter misery, your children's lives are too precious to be ruined in such a toxic environment.
You really can do this, you really can, woman do this all the time, some of those woman have posted in this thread, including myself, not one single one of those woman have said they regretted leaving and none have said their own lives or lives of their children got worse, very much the opposite. You have nothing to loose but many many many things to gain.
Please leave, please.
25-01-2016 19:53 #98
25-01-2016 20:42 #99
OP please read your posts back to yourself. Not just this thread but all of them. You are not 'ripping them from their home' by leaving with them. Home is a state of mind not geography, it can be anywhere you decide to make it. The right choice is that home will be free from abuse, away from him.
I'm trying to be sensitive as I understand what DV does to the victim emotionally. But at the same time I feel like I owe you honesty. You need to stop putting barriers up and start putting a plan of action together. Refuges usually have case workers that can help you find a rental and/or refer you onto crisis accommodation. They will help you get counselling for you and the kids. They will take you to Vinnies and advocate to get furniture and food. There would be some kind of families program in your area with a case worker as well if the refuge doesn't offer one. PM my your postcode and I will find a service for you.
I'm not saying it's going to be easy but it will get better. Staying with him won't.
25-01-2016 20:50 #100
Tell him to leave. If he doesn't, when does he go on his holiday? Can you wait until then if he refuses to leave? It could give you time to find ourself a rental so you can take everything with you and not rely on bunnies etc for donations.
Then your kids will be surrounded by their own things but to end up with time to get a new place sorted.
Of course if he's moving going on his holiday for a long time or you feel like you or your kids are at risk of physical harm, leave ASAP.
Don't give him the satisfaction of leaving the kids. He tells you what he wants you to hear - to get what he wants, so try and beat him at his own game, let him think he's winning but tell him what you want him to hear, whether you mean it or not. He will be confused as to why his latest emotional manipulation of you isn't working.
Next time he starts being negative or calling you names or making threats, pretend he's just saying blah blah blah blah, don't let his words make you doubt yourself.
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