My MIL hardly ever respects boundaries, and when called out on things not putting sunscreen on flat out lies (I was looking at the sunburn on my kids!) but at the end of the day I rely on her in school holidays and whilst I detest some of the things she does (crap food etc) I've had to let it go because I need her.
My mum took DD to get her nails done without asking me but I am so far from a girly girl that mum probably knew I'd never take her. My mum is much more respectful of boundaries and if she isn't sure about something she will ring me, sometimes that drives me nuts too.
They both do things that drive me crazy when it comes to my kids, but I know they will care and protect them and never put them in harms way. There's not many "firsts" I can think of other than a haircut that would really upset me, like I said I rely on the help so take the good with the annoying.
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21-01-2016 18:39 #61
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21-01-2016 19:38 #62Senior Member
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OP, it's sad that your MIL can't respect the boundaries set by the parents of the child. Hopefully she calms down soon, and can see she's being a bit irrational. I trust my parents with my children wholeheartedly, but I still expect them to respect the boundaries we have (and they do...even though they wholeheartedly disagree with our decisions at times), and if they didn't they simply wouldn't be asked to babysit...I also wouldn't let my kids go if my parents were being secretive and defensive about their plans with my kids. Fair enough if they genuinely don't know what they're doing, but, like you say, you have every right to know the general whereabouts of your child.
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22-01-2016 12:03 #63
hi redcorset, in my situation I had a mil and a sil who would both over step the boundries. sil took my son for his first haircut, and I cried. she also took her niece to see santa for the first time. any time I mentioned something I was thinking to buy or to share with the kids , mil would do it or buy it, before I could. I was often frustrated by her, and I would sometimes speak my mind, politely as I could.
In your situation, I understand where you are coming from, and it is important for you to set boundries, and for your dh to be on the same page. If she is going to carry on and create dramas, leave her be, and don't bend to her tanties. remember your children will grow up, and perhaps she can have a better relationship with them when they are older. your children's safety and well being is what is important now.. marie.
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