I agree, the last year of IVF and fertility treatment has been super hard for us and my best friends, and family, while amazing, really just don't know what to say or how to be there...that's why we stopped talking about it with them.
The people who truly understand, who ask the right questions and don't try to make it better but just deal with the situation as it is, are the people who have gone through it themselves.
I really do believe there are things you just will never get on that deeper level without having gone through it.
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17-01-2016 06:13 #51
17-01-2016 06:21 #52
17-01-2016 06:57 #53
Interesting discussion. I think you most def can have empathy for a situation without having experienced it and those that haven't still can most certainly be a source of support and love. Just as those in a similar situation can be unfeeling and unsupportive.
But I feel sometimes you need to directly experience something to understand. I can imagine how hard having a born child pass must be, but I don't really know, how can I? I remember having a discussion with someone who had lost a born child who was upset with those that m/c making a big deal of it. My response was that someone that m/c a baby at 10 weeks but hasn't lost a child after birth has nothing to compare against. That 10 week loss is *their* experience which has crushed them. I'm positive that the pain of the passing of a child is so much worse than a pg, but bc I haven't experienced that, those m/c are my low point.
That probably makes zero sense, I know what I mean lol
From experience I have found those that don't face infertility just don't understand. They think they do, but they don't. I don't mean that in a negative way, again how can they?
17-01-2016 07:11 #54
Millions of things. Poverty. Racism. Cancer. The answers are endless. One could just say 'everything'.
17-01-2016 07:38 #55
17-01-2016 09:11 #56
Can't seem to quote at the moment, but after reading responses I think my answer has changed to 'everything and nothing'- because anything is understood differently if you have experienced it. A person who has never eaten an apple cannot understand what apple tastes like. But I still think 'nothing' is right too because every single human experience is different. No one in the world can truly understand what YOU have gone through. There will be times when having people around who have experienced similar is important, of course. But I don't think anyone can ever truly, TRULY understand if that makes sense?
17-01-2016 09:14 #57
17-01-2016 09:16 #58
I'm grateful for those with wonderful empathy and who try to understand, even if they've never experienced what you've been through.
17-01-2016 09:18 #59
Also I want to clarify that I don't think empathy is exactly the same as understanding, I just think that in some cases empathy could be more useful than experience.
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Tiny Dancer (17-01-2016)
17-01-2016 10:16 #60Senior Member
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