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  1. #841
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    Omg @Debant this was the absolute last thing I expected to read as an update from you, so so heartbroken for you and your d/h and as the other girls have said, please look after yourself, there's really not much more I can say except that my thoughts are with you xx

  2. #842
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    Omg @Debant I'm so sorry for you. I know we can't say anything to make you feel better, but please take care of yourself and write in here every time you need to vent or tell us if we can help in any way. My thoughts are with you

  3. #843
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    Thank you everyone.

    Had a scan today. Looks like the baby died week 16, so a week ago. I've had a funny feeling the last week but was putting down to my paranoia. Not sure if anything showed on the scan as to why as ob did not have report when I saw him. I do hope they can work out why. Hard not knowing, constantky thinking what did I do wrong. But we have been so careful, and all the treatment, I don't know what we could have done differently. Ob said it would not have been the blood pressure, but is it more than coincidence it happened the same time as my blood pressure was high?

    ive got a bad few days ahead. I'm too far for a curette and not far enough for c section. So they are inducing labour. Can't believe my only experience with labour is going to be to deliver my dead baby. So tomorrow night I go to hospital for the first lot of medication, then home. Then back To hospital Sat , next med and then labour. He said still chance of having to have a curette as often the placenta does not go.

    So so today I have been to jb hifi and stocked up on DVDs for some binge watching. I've eaten sushi, prawns, BBQ chicken, store salad, mums potato salad with whole egg mayo, Coke Zero. And have some ash Brie in the fridge.

  4. #844
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    @Debant I'm so sorry your having to go through this, I've had a late loss at 23 wks and had to go through the labour and although it's not a good experience you can try and make it special, remember to take a camera so you can take photos, may not feel like it at the time, but it can be quite healing to have photos that you can go back through, you will be able to hold your baby, and you may be able to have hand and foot prints done as well, the hospitals usually really do try and make it a special time for you and your partner, you should also be able to have Bub with you for as long as you need to, to say your good byes etc, try not to wonder if you have done anything wrong, it is only human nature to do this, unfortunately theses things shouldn't happen but they frequently do I'll be thinking of you over the coming days and if you need to vent we are all here for you

  5. The Following User Says Thank You to stacey10 For This Useful Post:

    Weightykeighty  (09-11-2017)

  6. #845
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    Debant I am devastated for you This does not make sense and highlights how unfair life can be sometimes, after everything you've done to get this far. I had to deliver at 15 weeks. TBH it was a nice experience, I don't know if its the hormones but I felt very brave doing it and I was okay to bear the pain (whereas 4 days before I freaked out at the thought of having to do it!). I chose not to see my baby but the social worker took photos which I looked at many months later on his due date. I had a baby that died at a month old so have done all the holding and spending time with them after death (which really helped). This baby to me was too young and I chose not to. But for you if that is what you want to do it is a lovely option - holding baby and spending time with them. They are very small around this time though. You will know what feels right for you and your husband. My friend delivered a stillborn baby and she said even though she knew the baby had died she was still looking forward to meeting her! So even though it is sad and awful, it can also be a nice experience to go through the whole birthing process .

    All you can do now is self care which is sounds like you are doing. The wait until labour was long for me so I took a book into hospital and just spent time reflecting and waiting. I felt I had to do that. You may feel very vulnerable in the week after so all you can do is be kind to yourself, take some time off if you can. I allowed myself to feel pain and anger. Its a delicate time. Some hospitals have staff who will come and take hand/foot prints and photos or give you a little keepsake box. Talk to the social workers and see what they can do. I felt they were all special touches.

  7. #846
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    Thank you

    spoke to the hospital today to check what time I need to go tonight to take first meds. She told me to think about whether we want to hold the baby, know the sex, name the baby,maven if we want to have a s,all funeral. They take photos and domhand and foot prints and if we choose not to take the moment they put them on my file anyway, so we can get them at a later date. We are so unsure of everything and will talk to them a bit more when we go up tonight. Thank you @ stacey10 and @Rainbowbaby2016 for sharing your stories. It has certainly helped.

    Thank you again for your support.

  8. #847
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    @Debant the hospital sounds fantastic, just what you will want and need, I can only say do as much as you can do as you won't get that time back xx

  9. #848
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    Hi girls just asking again, has anyone needed TESE/ pesa (surgical sperm extraction) whilst cycling in Czech Republic!? I'd love to find out how it went for them...planning for the future.

  10. #849
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    @Debant just reading your story, heartbreaking I'm so sorry.

  11. #850
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    @mummanow we didn't personally but plenty of ladies d/h's have hadn't the procedure done at zlin with no problems @Debant thinking of you

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