We kiss on the lips because I've never thought anything of it. It's not like anyone lingers! Though actually my DD1 is 4 and keeps trying to kiss me like they do in Full House. That my friends, is a problem!
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02-01-2016 22:45 #31
02-01-2016 23:05 #32
I hate kissing on the lips, child to adult. I also find it something between two adults in some form of sexual relationship. My DH is the only person I kiss on the lips. I just don't feel comfortable if my kids kiss me on the lips.
My SIL on the other hand does t mind her son kissing anyone on the lips. Hes either always sick or grubby and he comes to try and give me a kids but I just kiss his cheek, I find it quite revolting to be honest.
He's your son, so it's up to you. Just teach your son about germs and how they're passed on (in the context of viruses, not 'dirt' germs) and you can get sick and tell him that's why you don't really want him kissing his granny on the lips. Hopefully he will lead the change and you won't need to talk to MIL but if he doesn't take the lead I think you should explain to your MIL why and don't accept no or bad luck as an answer.
02-01-2016 23:06 #33
We kiss on the lips here, it just happens naturally
Eta only dh and I, our kids don't kids anyone else on the lips
02-01-2016 23:11 #34
Kissing toddlers on the lips - WDYT?
IMO a kiss on the lips is only for lovers.
It's a cultural thing though. In France you'd be frown upon kissing a kid on the lips, but I quickly learned it was ok here.
ETA if my MIL was insisting on kissing my son on the lips, I'd be pushing hard for DH to put a stop to it by talking to his mum. Good luck OP.
Last edited by ExcuseMyFrench; 02-01-2016 at 23:23.
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02-01-2016 23:20 #35Senior Member
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- Dec 2005
OP, it's up to you! If you feel uncomfortable then you or DH have every right to put boundaries in place for your family.
I think this is very much an each to their own sort of thing and for us, if our child goes in for the lip kiss we don't turn them down!
My oldest two are 10 and nearly 8 and don't lip kiss anyone any more, without any prompting and have a good notion of boundaries, my four year old still grabs us by the face and smooches and he'll learn next year especially about space, boundaries etc.. (we're working on it gently)
As for lip kisses being for lovers, I sort of feel my lips are like my breasts - they have more than one use depending on who I'm with!
02-01-2016 23:21 #36
My 4 year old kisses me on the lips every now and again and it's the most beautiful sweetest thing ever. One day he will think it's gross to kiss mum and that will be gone forever. So right now I'm totally cool with it.
02-01-2016 23:27 #37
I must admit I'm one who finds the lip kiss awkward except with DH.
In fact just the other day a friend's 3 year old went to kiss me goodbye smack on the lips. I didn't want to reject him and didn't have time to react either. But I wouldn't normally let that happen.
I guess it's intention. They're innocent and don't know it might feel weird so it's not a huge deal. But yeah. ..I think it's a little awkward. DD has done it once or twice. .but she rarely shows affection so I thought it was kinda funny and sweet. Albeit gross and germy.
03-01-2016 00:16 #38
I am ok with dh l, myself, grandparents & aunties kissing on the lips, but not just anyone. For me,it's a bit like showering with kids - I'll have a shower with my 2yo DD, & it's fine & completely not sexual, but would be weird if I showered with a random kid I was babysitting or something. But ultimately OP,its up to you what you're comfortable with. I would recommend that you perhaps do some reading on the area of teaching children about their bodies & privacy, if its something that worries you. I think talking about exclusion zones/ not touching at all doesnt always work - because there are occassions where touching has to happen,but appropriately. Eg - if he does a poo at daycare & needs help cleaning up, or if a doctor needs to check his private parts. I've taught my DD about appropriate and innappropriate touch,and nudity. We talk about situations where it is ok & not ok. I think its important to make a distinctiom between an adult touching you innappropriately, and a daycare teacher helping you to wipe your bottom if you've done a poo in your undies.
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03-01-2016 00:22 #39Senior Member
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- Dec 2005
I think a really good resource for all parents is"Everyone has a bottom"
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03-01-2016 01:30 #40
I think if you are uncomfortable with it, you have every right to tell someone, who ever it may be- don't kiss my child on the lips, it does not even matter what your reasons are, it is your child.
With DD, aka ice queen ;P we never had issues she often would not even offer her cheek but the top of her head, my friend who is very into kissing on the lips would get a loud "yuk" so DD solved that issue herself. DS often (to my surprise) kisses me on the lips, he isn't comfortable when others have attempted to kiss him on the lips, (but even if he was), I without hesitation tell people please don't kiss him on the lips. I don't feel any obligation to explain why.
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