Had you asked her to tell her husband not to message you before the Christening? Before or after you were invited?
Results 111 to 120 of 134
19-01-2016 08:55 #111
19-01-2016 09:06 #112
This is all really odd. If the nature of the husbands messages was off I can't see why you'd want to continue a friendship anyway. Otherwise if they were just friendly messages (which I'm getting the impression they were and you and your husband are taking offence due to the fact he's a guy), I don't see the issue.
I frequently message the husband's of my friends, we're all good friends. We talk about catching up with our families, the shooting range, anything really.
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19-01-2016 10:30 #113
Whether you promised to or not, it still wouldn't hurt to acknowledge the fact that you were late and unable to do this thing they asked.
I suspect the fact that you were invited to do this role is the reason that you were given some specific requests about what to wear, and indicates that you were considered a special friend with an important role in what is a very meaningful day.
If you add the fact that your husband has had words with her husband and then didn't show at the christening, I think this whole chain of events would be very confusing.
So yes, I can see why she would be hurt.
19-01-2016 10:54 #114Senior Member
- Join Date
- Feb 2012
- Brisbane North
19-01-2016 11:25 #115
I'm confused was the husband hitting on you etc? If not I don't find it weird to get messages. I inbox DHs friends all time about things - kids, life, blah blah.
I would be upset if you didn't help. It seems unreliable. U might not known her long but maybe she cherished your friendship more than you did
19-01-2016 11:51 #116Senior Member
- Join Date
- Apr 2009
I think perhaps you are both not on the same page in regards to your friendship and this has all come to light with the christening. I would get together, even with the husbands and hash it out. Not fair on either party how it is at the moment.
19-01-2016 11:59 #117
It is possible for men and women to be just friends without it being anything more. I'm not sure your husband understands this.
19-01-2016 12:18 #118-
- Join Date
- Apr 2012
1) the other hubby being a dirty rude perve, you being far too understanding and you/DH having the right to be upset and
2) you being overly sensitive/your hubby being overly controlling & rude and the other couple having the right to be upset
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19-01-2016 12:21 #119
I'm also finding the story really hard to follow along. as others have said, details keep being added that change the context of what happened.
OP, can you just confirm whether the husband's messages to you were of an inappropriate/offensive/suggestive/sexual nature? there was obviously something he was doing that was enough to make your husband and you feel uncomfortable. that said, maybe your hubby is just weird about other men messaging you in a private forum, the messages themselves may well have been innocent.
from what I can understand of the situation, and based on the facts as they currently stand, it sounds as though you and your husbands behaviour has put a dampener on the friendship a bit. the woman is probably a bit offended and has pulled back.
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19-01-2016 12:30 #120
my gut feeling on all this is as follows:
you've each got a different take on the friendship. they obviously see you as a valued friend as they've asked you to be a part of their child's special day. you mustn't rate this couple that highly as friends and have approached it all too casually and it's caused offence. they took your agreeance to doing the job that was asked of you as a firm commitment whereas you only saw it as a maybe thing, like if it suits. this has caused the other couple to get offended (and I'd be a bit offended too if I was in their shoes)
your hubby is jealous that another man is messaging you and has told you to put the kibosh on the friendship. he's engineered this so you'll look bad and make the other couple want to give you a wide berth.
I think (and I may be way off here) that your hubby is the cause of the issue here. he's controlling you and telling you what to do. you've done as he's told and it's causing rifts in friendships, which is his goal as he wants you isolated from these people.
so the friends are offended and giving you a wide berth, your hubby is satisfied as he's got rid of the "competition" and you're not really sure where you stand in all this.
now am I right or am I right?
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