My DH doesn't do an uneven time roster and we still are very flat the day before and on fly out day. The FIFO groups I'm a part of, most people feel the same way. I generally have to have something to look forward too such as my trashy TV shows at bedtime or have a planned outing on the weekend. It's also really hard after a big break! DH usually has 6 weeks off over Xmas and the holidays and when he goes back its really crud!
I hope you find a good routine. This is our 4th year and the lifestyle is starting to wear thin.
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22-02-2016 22:56 #11Senior Member
- Join Date
- Jul 2008
22-02-2016 23:02 #12
This break was the longest time we have had together since we met so was hard to let him go again! He usually only gets 2wks off over school holidays because we have his girls for that time.
So over Xmas we had my place sold, packed and moved by 21st dec. then had his girls flying in Xmas eve and then all our families coming for Xmas. His and his dad's birthday on 27/28th, daughters birthday, New Years etc. we had people here non stop and I haven't even managed to finish unpacking. Then suddenly school starts again and everyone's gone 😁 I've spent two weeks cleaning just to avoid going to be alone.
I'm sure it will get easier as I make more of a life for myself here. Start studying soon hopefully and meet more people.
22-02-2016 23:05 #13Senior Member
- Join Date
- Jul 2008
Are you near your old town or in a completely new area? That is a full on school holidays!! If you haven't already there is some good support FIFO groups around. I hope the next couple of weeks goes by in a flash!
24-02-2016 17:19 #14
I'm still in Perth just a good 40 minute drive from my old area so need to plan ahead for everything. No spur of the moment coffees or play dates or anything.
I've joined a couple on fb but probably don't use them as much as I should.
02-03-2016 22:10 #15
Blah fly out day 😞 get really sick of being told it gets easier, to think how lucky I am to get a whole week at a time of 24/7 time together etc etc. Why can't I just be sad and angry and blah without someone trying to minimise it.
02-03-2016 22:36 #16
You can be sad and angry! I usually go through a whole roller coaster of emotions- while trying to be cool calm and collected for the kids. :/
People who haven't lived this way just don't know what to say- so generally they say the wrong things 😬
My DH will be going away soon, in a couple mths he hasn't got a definite date yet, so we have about 2mths to prepare- what ever that means! Generally it's just more time for the kids to get anxious about it
He has been home for over a year so it's making it so much harder for some reason.
04-03-2016 18:04 #17
Yeah the longer they are home the harder it is hey. Hope you and the kids cope of when the time comes.
I think part of my issue is that his flights have changed so I am now dropping him off at the airport and because I have moved into his place I am driving home to the empty house, in a suburbs where I basically have no friends and it's making the loneliness worse. I don't think he understands that it's hard for me to drop him off. Also that I've gone from being in an area where I knew everyone to somewhere I know no one. School drop offs/pick ups are lonely, I don't know other parents, no one waiting in the car park to see if I want coffee or to go shopping, no one dropping in for a cup a after school etc... Meh I'm just being a sook 😕
04-03-2016 19:20 #18
I get the loneliness, we moved continents, while I have some extended family here, it's not the same. I missed the catch ups and coffee with girlfriends so much.
I got involved in all the parent stuff at school but I'm not very good at meeting new people, DH is very open so for him it's a lot easier, while he sympathises, he doesn't really get it.
It's taken good few years to find a few friends. I tend to find it easier through the kids, like setting up play dates and stuff.
The drop off at the airport is so hard, DH now goes on his own, it's just easier on the kids, well and me too.
Hope your first week flys by, hate that first week!
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04-03-2016 19:25 #19
I try to do something social everyday, preferably in the morning so I actually get dressed and out of the house. As for socially I just ask people to go to coffee, lunch, etc. Sometimes they say no and that's fine. The big empty house is horrible though, I find night time the worst. That's time that should be spent drinking wine with DF on the couch watching MKR or something. It's just not the same alone.
04-03-2016 20:32 #20
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