I read a thread before joining bubhub about parents using the court system to recover child support.
My family think I should apply through the courts to recover both CS & the family court fees as I have been left in extreme hardship due to the payer's actions
I would love some advice:- sorry in advance for the novel.
I attempted to resolve paternity when my child was 2. I was meet with refusal and told neither would never submit to dna to allow legal recognition.
I lived in another country and could not afford to proceed legally - at the time it was feed and provide a home or be broke and fight it out in court.
Two years later I was served with papers by one possible father to be put on birth cert despite paternity Unknown.
I participated from overseas in a court system I knew nothing about with a lawyer that barely spoke to me and acted on my behalf in discussions without my consent.
Eventually he got his name on the cert by default of "unopposed" despite I had clearly opposed!
Another year goes by and I hear nothing. Til I am due to appear in court within my own country for an application to take 50/50 care of my child who is then 8 - that I have cared for and provided for since pregnancy. On the lies that he had cared for the child on a regular basis.
I go through the court process, am advised to contact CSA as he should have been paying me CS. CSA advise me that the other party has already contacted them 8months earlier with NON SEALED documents stating he has 50/50 care of the child. I was never contacted about this application.
Fast forward the "father" still possibly not biological with no relationship or contact for 8 years - submits an application to take full custody with an injunction to prevent any contact between my child and self.
The Application was unsuccessful, CS payments are only paid days before each court appearance & with me contacting CSA to remind them it is 3weeks overdue! I received a total of 6 months CS payments.
He then doesn't turn up to court, has withdrawn his application and goes into hiding. I asked my lawyer about court fees and child support but didn't get anywhere. The case was so complicated without adding that too.
I informed CSA that I believed he was relocating overseas to a reciprocal country. I made phone calls once a month for three months to inform CSA. I was told they would not do anything until 6 months time & not to rely on getting any payments. I then received a call a month later from CSA for the payers details as none were active. My reply was "READ THE FILE NOTES". I have a CS over due balance increasing each month.
I would like to forget the whole situation and move on. However my family believe I should Seek legal advice to gain compensation - he started the Court & CS proceedings and is now hiding to not pay CS. He took 60k of money that I didn't have to defend numerous lies he had told the court plus the lose of income due to my depression & anxiety. He has not paid a cent in legal fees or CS as his parents funded the whole case.
My psychologist whom I was seeing due to severe depression & anxiety believes the case was about "power" and being able to control me. He showed no concern for my child or building a relationship. It was more about taking something away from me. He his friends & family would sit outside my house. Then the final straw came when my partner caught his partner & friends trying to break into our vehicle.
If you've gotten this far, HELP!!!
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29-12-2015 21:05 #1Junior Member
- Join Date
- Dec 2015
Backdated Child Support? Possible or Dreaming?
29-12-2015 22:45 #2Member
- Join Date
- Jun 2013
This is a terrible situation.
My concern would be can you handle going through court again. Emotionally, psychologically, financially. Regardless of what your family or friends think. These things take a huge toll on you personally and only you can decide if it's better for you and your son to pursue this or to let it go and move on. And hopefully find some peace and happiness again. All the best with your choice
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30-12-2015 06:29 #3
I'm so sorry you've gone through all of this! Whilst nowhere near that degree, I have had a child support battle but I chose to let it go. I didn't want to go through the court battle - the experience I did have with courts & lawyers scarred me so badly I couldn't do it again. I was my daughters only caregiver and she needed me to be at my best, going through all of that would have been too painful and taken my focus away from what was best for her day to day. I chose to ignore family & friends advice. It's very easy for people to 'advise' when it's not them having to do the hard work.
I wasn't interested in 'getting back' at him, 'making him pay'. Honestly to this day, I don't care. I'm the winner because I have a happy life with my beautiful girl. Just my thoughts, I hope you find the solution that works for you xx
30-12-2015 08:20 #4
I think you are owed back pay CS and court fees plus some - whether you will get it....I really don't know.
My other fear is, if you start further action against him then he may start the custody fight again just to be spiteful... And he may gain some access to your son and you would need to be prepared for that.
It's so unfair he can just do this and disappear. It sounds a bit like he told his parents he has a son (probably skipping the bit it may not be his) and then they started proceedings to get access to their grandson. When CS started and it affected his hip pocket... Then suddenly he doesn't want to go ahead with it.
Only you can know if your up for another fight in court, financially and emotionally. Whatever you choose know that you have my sympathy as this has been a terrible thing done to you and your son 😞
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