So I had DH 2 sisters and their husbands and kids over last night for xmas dinner, all went fine and one of the BIL is a bit of a tool but was ok until about 9pm when his 13 year old DD and my 5 year old DS were jumping on the trampoline, we heard DS crying and I said what happened and he said his cousin jumped on his arm and she said yes sorry it was an accident , DS said no it wasn't and hit her on the arm when she tried to console him, I yelled out to get off the tramp and don't hit your cousin it was an accident, so he gets down in that ugly over tired cry and starts walking over to the table we were sitting at holding his arm and on the way to me he passed BIL who grabbed his arm , pulled him close and said " if you ever hit your cousin again I'll hit you even harder - do you understand me " DS said yes then burst into more tears and ran to DH who was sitting next to him
My initial reaction, apart from shock was to say in a very cranky tone
" don't you ever touch or threatened my child , I can't believe you just did that, if you threatened or touch my child again I will have you arrested " he said "he needed to be told" I said " he's 5, it's xmas he's overtired and I already told him" he said " well now he's been warned" I said " get f 'ed" and he sniggered , I then said "as a matter of fact get out of my house" to which he got up and left
DS was over to me by that time and was still crying and I just hugged him and said not to worry BIL is just being silly , he calmed down after that and my other SIL took him and the little kids for a bath, my poor SIL whose husband it was looked mortified , we get on really really well and I said I'm sorry I probably shouldn't have asked him to leave but I can't believe he threatened DS, she said either can I Im so sorry he's an idiot , she left with her girls , DH said I beat him to saying something and not to stress as he was in the wrong - I think my initial reaction to ask him to leave might have been over the top but I still standby what I said - I don't hold grudges and he is welcome in my home but don't touch my child again!
Did I overreact and what would you have said/done ?
ETA - we tell each other's kids all the time , no hitting, no yelling etc and I have no problem with that , especially if DS is doing something wrong
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26-12-2015 10:17 #1
Did I overreact?
Last edited by Elijahs Mum; 26-12-2015 at 10:23.
26-12-2015 10:22 #2
I probably would've lost it too. Kids fight - you dealt with it - he should've just let it go. Hope it all blows over for you soon.
26-12-2015 10:25 #3
You dealt with your child and sounds like you handled it well.
From what you relay I too would have reacted to someone saying something like that to any of my children. Paticularly given your son is only 5 that makes the BIL's reaction even worse.
Ok now some therapy. Take the kids out for some boxing day bargains
Last edited by DaveTTC; 26-12-2015 at 10:29.
26-12-2015 10:28 #4Senior Member
- Join Date
- Jan 2012
He did WHAT?!?
Ever watched/read "The Slap"?
I think you were restrained. You did well to control the bear. I probably would have lost it myself.
Do you think there will be a fall out from this?
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Elijahs Mum (26-12-2015)
26-12-2015 10:29 #5Senior Member
- Join Date
- Feb 2011
I think your son should have got in more trouble from you for deliberately hitting his cousin especially after she apologized and tried to console him. I would have given him 5 minutes in his room and told him to apologize to his cousin. In saying that I think you were 100% right in what you said to your brother in law, he hasn't no right whatsoever to touch your son or talk to him like that. I would have been livid.
26-12-2015 10:33 #6
I think when someone over steps the mark as the BIL did it can easily distract from any follow thru that my have been about to have been dealt with. Now rather than fokkow thru with discipline consoling had to take place.
26-12-2015 10:33 #7
I would have been furious as well. He threatened to him him for hitting his cousin? A grown man threatening to 'hit him harder'. Oh my gosh no you didn't over react. That's disgusting.
26-12-2015 10:35 #8
I would have done exactly what you did. There is no way on earth that was acceptable.
Think of it this way. If you had let him stay. What message would have that said to your son. What message would it have said to your bil.
Now think of message you did send your son (I have your back no matter who tries to hurt you)
And bil (don't mess with my kid)
It sad that your sister was in the middle but in the long run you have done the very best thing you could.
I am sorry you were put in that position.
26-12-2015 10:36 #9
Disgusting. I'm so sorry that happened. Your son is 5 and still learning. Your BIL is an adult and it is unacceptable. I don't think asking him to leave was over the top as he showed no remorse. It's your job to protect your son.
I hope you all can sort things out.
26-12-2015 10:43 #10
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