Anyone else feel like they need to recover from an entire day spent with family? I'm feeling pretty numb today 🙁 it's only one day of the year so I wish it wouldn't bother me so much...I want to be that person who is always happy and smiling and having a wonderful time...but when you're confronted with all the issues from your childhood you worked so hard & so long to get past, it just makes for a really tough day. It's like a competition with the my family - a shallow, meaningless competition about how you look, what you wear, how little you eat on the day...for example, my sister announces she's so full after eating a lettuce leaf & a mince pie. My mother pretty much congratulates her, "oh you've never been a big eater have you, she's never been a big eater! Look at her in your tiny dress, she looks after herself, my girl!" Meanwhile I'm on my second helping of turkey. Other sister has so much fake tan she's putting Oompa Loompa's everywhere to shame...mother exclaims, "oh you're so brown! You've always gone brown (points to me) - she just burns." Brother brings along new girlfriend #3964 who mother once again automatically decides they are new best friends and they bond over cushion colours.
Ugh it's just so fake & exhausting! Cheers to staying home today!!!
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26-12-2015 06:17 #1
"Recovering" from family Christmas
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SSecret Squirrel (26-12-2015)
26-12-2015 06:18 #2
Yep. I'm with my in laws. Enough said.
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26-12-2015 07:05 #3
I'm sorry you had to go through that OP. Sounds like a terrible day. But thank you for your humour in your post.
I need to recover in other ways. Deciding which of the millions of toys and gifts to keep and which to donate to charity.
I'm pretty sure DD doesn't even remember what more than half her presents are. DS well he's 15 months old so he doesn't understand.
I actually worked out if each set of grand parents and aunties and uncles gave the kids both just $50 each year for birthday and Christmas (which is less than they spend on presents) they would have enough money to both buy a car each when they're 18. Surely that is a far better use if money than plastic crap they get.
I don't know maybe as they get older and can use bikes and their own iPads and computer games etc presents will be worth it, but under 5 years old they just don't get that excited.
26-12-2015 07:24 #4
That would be frustrating! My family are good with DD's gifts, she's the only grandchild so they're pretty well across what she needs & what she doesn't - but they use her to show off. She's got people pulling her in all directions, one shoving a present at her, another one asking her to pose for photo after photo until they get one deemed Instagram-worthy...it's all about them, not about just letting her enjoy the day. We are so staying home next year!
26-12-2015 07:40 #5
26-12-2015 09:01 #6
Sounds exhausting! My family isn't like that, but I don't get on with one sister, and my Mum? Well to say our relationship is difficult is an understatement. I used to hate Christmas. I would always be stressed for weeks before and never really enjoyed the day. One year in my 20's, I woke up with gastro so didn't go. It was a better Christmas than spending it with them LOL. So I faked a sickie a few times in the years after if I didn't want to drive 5 hours to not enjoy my day.
Since meeting DH nearly 10 years ago, we've had Christmas with them once. Don't plan on doing it again. I didn't realise how awesome "adult" Christmas could be!! I have a lot more fun with the IL's and can relax, have a wine without it being commented on and enjoy the day. There is no sniping, I don't have to hear how wonderful one of my sisters is compared to me and my other sister, I don't have to see Mum falling over herself fawning over her adult grandsons wife or going on about what a good great-grandmother she is when she barely acknowledges MY kids exist (who are similar ages thanks to a large age gap between my siblings and myself) etc etc.
I highly recommend doing what you enjoy at Christmas. Mum always made a big deal about how the family "had" to get together on Christmas Day, but doesn't want to actually be involved in my, or my kids, lives, so I've stopped playing her game. I don't exist for her for most of the year, so they don't factor in to my Christmas thoughts now either.
26-12-2015 09:25 #7
we stay with my parents as we live interstate. the first few days is ok but after that, it just starts to grate.
my mum has some kind of anxiety about everything. including air con/drafts/breezes so, despite it being a million degrees, nobody can have a window open/fan or air con on. dh was doing a heap of cooking on Xmas eve and it was a fight to keep windows open for breeze/ventilation. wtf. in the end I yelled at her to p|ss off out of the kitchen. wtf!?
then she was reminding dh to ensure we locked up the house yesterday before leaving to go to my sisters place for Xmas lunch. including telling him to remind me to "switch all the lights off, as there was one time 3 or 4 years ago that she left a light on". again what the actual!?
they're just so pedantic and paranoid and neurotic. it's maddening and you feel like you just can't relax.
then there's the politically incorrect/slightly racist comments they make. well mainly I've heard it from my dad. I had to pull him up yesterday at my sister's after hearing him refer to an African American kid (or a child of African descent, it was a pic) as a picaniny. wtf. I googled the term
and images of those old fashioned gollywogs came up. if they want to use terms like that on their own, that's their business. but it offended me (dh is mixed race and our bub will be too) and I don't think it's appropriate in someone else's house especially with a little bub around. again, wtf!?
I know I still have it tons better than many but it's frustrating nonetheless. getting to the point where I'm looking forward to getting home and back to our own space.
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26-12-2015 09:30 #8
Unfortunately have to spend Boxing Day with other half of family. Tomorrow I think I might get up at dawn and leave the house for few hours on my own. Before I lose my shiz.
26-12-2015 09:37 #9
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26-12-2015 09:41 #10
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