So this has popped up for us a few times over the past few months and I've written a post about it before but I'm looking for some peace of mind and a bit of guidance and to hear what others experience.
I'll preface this with: for any of you reading this, I'd prefer NOT to be attacked for my post, I'd prefer not to be judged, I'd like to be treated with some respect and also to say that I am getting the opinions of professionals. I've got the ball rolling and have had for a while now, but these things take time. Now that that is out of the way... Where do I start?
DS is 4.5, a few months ago his kindy pulled me aside and mentioned ASD. They flagged a few 'behaviours' which concerned them.
Some of them were:
Not really connecting with the kids
Fixated on certain toys
Not being able to / not wanting to do craft and writing etc
There were more but i forget them now, and at the time we saw a psych, two doctors, and an early childhood nurse and they all said it was more likely his speech that was causing his outbursts and him not being able to communicate properly what was upsetting him.
His language is ok, he stutters on and off and everyone we know understands him, but often I think he can't find the words to describe how he feels. He can say the words if he knew them. (If that makes sense)
Anyway, long story short, we had peace of mind with that and he has no other signs like the usual avoidance of eye contact, arm flapping, repetitive Behaviour, lining toys up, not pointing etc.
Also the stuff daycare brought up, I had 'reasons' for. Like he prefers outdoors to craft, always has, he has quite a few friends outside of daycare who he plays with often, his tantrums have settled dramatically since we did the tuning into kids course with emotion coaching and he was even starting to be nicer to his little brother and playing with him.
Anyway that's why we didn't take it further - there is more to the story but it's too much to write and remember.
So fast forward to now...
I've noticed more and more he hates 'marks' whether it be a freckle on his body, texta on his hands, messed food on his shirt, or if it's a new toy and it's not PERFECT, he freaks and has a meltdown/tantrum. Like we bought him a buzz Lightyear for Christmas and it has a tiny speck of green paint on the white and he was really upset. I had to try and say that's because HIS buzz is special, but I know that will only keep him happy for so long.
He hates stamps or stickers on his skin, he doesn't mind vein dirty from playing outside really, but if he gets marker or texta or paint etc on his hands he loses it.
I've been back at work full time for the past three weeks and he's being looked after by my mum, so I don't know if it's that change that has upset him, and he's starting to act up, or if it's something else I should be concerned about.
DH and I have already discussed him seeing a paed and being assessed in the new year and we have speech booked in but unfortunately it's only in April next year. We also have an OT for fine motor stating in Jan.
He can write his name but he can't / doesn't press down hard enough, he also can't / doesn't rest his arm on the table when he writes, despite me repeatedly reminding him. He has managed pencil grip though. He doesn't like trying to write anything else. Only his name. I don't know if it's because of lack of confidence with other letters or something else.
He is not independent at all, he goes to the toilet on his own and a few months ago learnt to wipe himself, he can finally put his own shoes on and own undies and shorts, but flat out refuses to take off his shirt or put it on. I used to put it down to not liking change and wanting ME to do it for him, especially since his brother was born as I still do most things for his brother.
He struggled to learn to put his own shoes/undies/pants on and with taking himself to the toilet, he used to flat out refuse and have tantrums and cry, he does it all now and I never thought it was because he was unable, I thought it was because he just wanted attention and for us to do it. He just refuses to TRY anything new.
Anyway I'm rambling and that is just some of the stuff
Does that sounds like ASD or am I dealing with something else?
Is my child just disobedient or is there something wrong?
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25-12-2015 12:55 #1
25-12-2015 13:33 #2
My opinion only... Quite possibly. My nephew is ASD, and I wrote off a lot of his things but when I went to his kinder and saw him with his peers I realised he was different.
A label of ASD doesn't change who he is. He will still be your beautiful loving boy. You will just understand why he does the things he does and learn to be more patient.
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25-12-2015 13:59 #3
25-12-2015 14:15 #4
If you have any concerns get a referral to a developmental paed as they are best placed to diagnose ASD.
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25-12-2015 16:43 #5
Sounds like it could be and its good you have the diagnosis under way as early intervention is soooo beneficial not just for them but for you also. If it's not then he may just need some OT which is also good to know. A diagnosis could take a few months so good on you for taking the cues and suspicions from daycare and being proactive.
25-12-2015 16:56 #6
Sorry just read your OP again. You said opinions of professionals? Is that in terms of a diagnosis? Or "do you think my kid has autism" as the two are very different.
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Mrs Tickle (17-01-2016)
25-12-2015 17:06 #7
It doesn't necessarily sound like ASD behaviours to me. I actually identify with a lot of it. My 4.5 year old daughter very much needs to be pushed to attempt new tasks. She will refuse for a very long time (wasn't game to try the potty until over 3) but once she does the, that's it, she's fine with it and masters it competently. We have to push her at times. Learning to wipe alone, well she is only just learning that. The being upset about small marks also stands out. Actually, she has literally had hysterics over a tiny scratch. It is a great sign that he has friends that he is happy to play with.
So... while your child clearly has some quirks, are they really impacting on his day to day life, and abilities, and experiences? Or does he just learn in a different way, or need more time to pick things up?
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25-12-2015 17:20 #8Senior Member
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Quite a few of the issues identify to me as Sensory Processing Disorder.
At his age not wanting to write correctly isn't unusual. At his age he should be focusing on developing his gross motor/fine motor skills which will then lead to writing. Just because the powers to be decide kids should be writing at this age it's not always developmentally appropriate. Look at Pinterest for heaps of cool ideas.
Resisting independent activities can be sensory, anxiety or attention based. I would make a picture chart of the things you want him to do in the morning that he is capable of and maybe one or two things he needs to practice. I would encourage high praise when each one is completed independently and just quietly assist the stuff he isn't capable of.
Seeing the Paed will obviously be good to discuss these concerns but I would do a bit of reading on SPD.
25-12-2015 22:00 #9
Thanks everyone, some days these things impact his life and ours, and others we don't notice or nothing goes wrong... For eg, this morning he was cracking it and acting up, and he didn't want to have a bar of his baby brother, and then we took them to the beach this arvo and he had an AWESOME time and at the end of the day was cuddling his brother and giving him goodnight kisses....
Some days are better than others.
26-12-2015 19:43 #10
Good night kisses are sweet
Last edited by lilypily; 26-12-2015 at 19:45.
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