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  1. #1
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    Default Palliative care, Christmas and family

    Not sure where this belongs really
    We just got the news this week that my Dad's cancer has spread to his lungs and that treatment is no longer possible. The doctor said he has months; maybe 2 maybe 6
    It started as throat cancer so as a result he now has a feeding tube and will be coming home from hospital on Monday with the palliative care team setting up hospital bed etc at home
    Anyway; I've scrapped the original present I had for him as he can't do it (wanted to give him and my mum a seaplane flight over our area) and have had ideas about naming a star, family photos (although I don't think he'll want to be photographed) and a video from friends and family (problem is he hasn't told most of them yet)....
    Anyone been through this horrible horrible time and has advice for something he might need? Amything practical as well as sentimental? My brains all over the place at the moment so any help appreciated :-(
    Sorry for the essay

  2. #2
    TheGooch's Avatar
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    I couldn't read an run.
    I'm so very sorry you, your Dad and family are going through this.
    My mum was diagnosed with ovarian cancer when I was 12. She went into remission and then they discovered tumours in her brain. She died when I was 14.
    I remember her wanting to take her last family holiday with us. She wanted to take us to Samoa where her father was a missionary when he was young. We never made it.
    Gifts she was given that she appreciated:
    A beautiful cashmere blanket to have over her knees
    A CD of her favourite music
    Photos of her family
    A glass of wine (at that stage who cares what it did to her? She also smoked and we didn't deny her that either.)
    Meals cooked that were her favourites
    Sitting outside in the sun having breakfast together
    Talking books - she was a keen reader but her vision was blurry so taking books were the best option.
    I remember the most important thing was spending time with us.

    I wish you and your family peace at Christmas xxx

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    KT8  (20-12-2015)

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    the best thing you can give him is not a 'thing' .... its time spent with you and your family. Give him a special christmas with everyone who loves him all around ... sharing memories and making as much of the time he has left as you can.

    Its so hard

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    Default Thanks

    Thanks ladies for the hugs and advice.
    He's sent emails now to his old friends overseas (not able to speak very well so had to do via email) so I'm going to contact them and ask them to send me video messages for him, i think he'll like that
    He had to go back on oxygen last night so we're just hoping that doesn't hinder him being able to come home tomorrow, we'll see
    Thanks again 💜

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    What about a photo book of his closest friends and family and / or special times in his life, so he can reminisce on what has hopefully been a wonderful life.

    Huge hugs to you and your family xx

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    Sadly I didn't get to use any of the ideas... my dad passed away on Tuesday morning :-( came so suddenly even though we knew it was coming we thought we'd have months
    At least me my mum and sister were with him, it was actually lovely in a way. But still wish he had been here for Christmas I know he wanted to be :-( and to tell him everything I wanted to :-(

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    Sending you so much love xxxx

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    KT8  (26-12-2015)

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    So sorry to hear that. Sending you lots of love xxx

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    I'm so sorry @KT8
    Huge hugs to you xxx
    Be kind to yourself in your grief

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    So sorry for your loss.

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