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  1. #11
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    no because my mother used to bleach our teaspoons and walls
    but I feel like its harder, I am constantly thinking how could she do what she did and I fail so badly at this parenthood thing

  2. #12
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    Not at this point. When my sister and I were roughly the age of my kids, my mum was a SAHM who did pretty much everything around the house. My partner does a lot more household/child stuff than my dad did. He also works from home which gives me the flexibility to leave the kids with him for appointments etc., plus we have access to occasional care, supermarkets open late, online shopping and other things to make life easier.
    My mum also did a lot of housework that I simply don't do, like ironing etc.

    My mum was a SAHM until I was at uni though, and I'll be working part time once my youngest is a little older. In that respect, I think I'll probably be busier once the kids are at school.

  3. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by FearlessLeader View Post
    Fresh off an argument with my mother- do you think you have more on your plate than your mum did? I can't decide whether I am indeed busier (mum was a full time worker and single mum) or she's just forgotten what it's like.
    So I was just wondering that in general do you think parents are expected to do a lot more these days? I feel like I have more obligations than my mum did, but I also wonder how many of those are self-imposed.
    In general, what are the obligations you speak of? Not a hint of snark intended.

  4. #14
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    I'm not sure...
    My mum was a SAHM mum, she had 4 kids within 5 yrs, she had a weekly cleaner. But my dad did nothing around the house (he had a very demanding job) and not much with us kids, plus we all had a lot of extra curricular activities and she put a lot of effort in at school and with our friends.

    i have 3 kids and work part time. But my dh helps a lot with the house and kids. So it's hard to say.

  5. #15
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    In some ways yes, I'm busier. But that doesn't mean it's harder for me than it was for her. I think I probably do more stuff because it's much more accessible - I study online, i manage most of my admin online/by phone rather than having to physically run errands etc - which means I have time to throw in extra activities/responsibilities. "Busy-ness" seems to be something we try to create whereas I think older generations had a greater appreciation for the basics.

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  7. #16
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    I'm not sure which generation is busier but I am absolutely positive that mums forget once their children have grown into the next stage. They could forget just because it's difficult to remember the small daily grind difficulties of life. Or they forget because its so bloody hard that we have to block out the trauma!
    The thing with mothering is that it is a different kind of difficult. It's not like a difficult/stressful/busy job. It is emotionally intense. It is relentless. It is all consuming. This is what makes us feel busy so it really can't be compared by considering who had more kids, who worked more or who had the crapper husband.
    Good luck dealing with your mum....... Xxx

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  9. #17
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    I am busier than my mum without a doubt. We have no arguments there, she agrees. I think my mum was a better mum than me, though.

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    Yes, I work full time when not on maternity leave, and still keep house

  11. #19
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    My Mum was definitely busier. She worked full time while my Dad worked full time and spent a lot of time overseas with the Army (including multiple 10-12 month trips - when he was home he was very hands on - they make an excellent team), she had us 16 months apart returning to work when we were six weeks old, she cooked, cleaned and spent the weekends running us around to various activities. I am a SAHM (work for a friend 10-20 hours a week although it is very relaxed!), DS goes to pre-school from 1130-330 5 days a week and DH works full time but is helpful at home and with DS. We have a lot more disposable income than my parents did and I have a cleaner once a week and babysitter a few times a month. I often wonder how my Mum coped, when I ask my Mum she says that she would have loved to have stayed home with us but enjoyed working, and needed the income, some of my frantic phone calls home start with "please remind me how you had energy to enjoy us!!!"

  12. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by misskittyfantastico View Post
    In general, what are the obligations you speak of? Not a hint of snark intended.
    Well lots of things I feel are important, my mum wouldn't have bothered herself with. Like cooking healthy meals from scratch. Mum was quite happy to do meat and 3 veg or convenience meals most of the time. We were allowed to watch as much TV as we liked- she didn't entertain us or spend so much time as I do adjudicating sibling stoushes because we were just sitting watching tv, or we were off in the neighbourhood on our bikes (mine aren't nearly old enough for that yet!)
    And work-wise- I work part time but of course I end up doing almost 5 day's worth of work in 3. Mum was in a fairly high managerial position but she took actual lunch breaks (sometimes very long ones!) and could actually get things done during them, whereas I officially get 30 minutes and in reality often get 15, so I spend my days off dragging the kids around to do errands.
    I feel like life is much faster now than it was 20-30 years ago, and that people struggle more financially bc houses are so damn expensive. And we have much higher expectations of ourselves in general (not just as parents) than older generations did.
    I know in the less than 10 years I've been in my current job, the workload has increased probably threefold. I (and everyone else) jut keep getting loaded with more and more things I have to do on a day to day basis.

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