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  1. #1
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    Default Living with Parents?

    Just wondering if any hubbers can share their experiences of having their parent/s come to live with them? Did they live in the house, in a downstairs granny flat, or in a detached grannyflat? Did it work for you - why/why not?

    We will be moving next year and we're considering getting a house which has a downstairs or detached granny flat so that my mum could live with us. DH is definitely open to the idea - he suggested it! My mum is a great help to us, looking after DS one day a week, and babysitting if we need it. She's also very busy - she works in residential care 4 nights a week, and looks after other grandchildren 2 days a week! So she won't be in our hair a lot.

    ...but I'm a still a bit hesitant... hoping for other's experiences to help make up my mind!

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    Following as we have been discussing this at length with my parents. Our main worry is being a part of the house as my DH loves to blast music and my mum is very noise sensitive.

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    My grandmother lived with us for a few years when we were kids. My mother said it was terrible for her independence and as a result would never ever live with any of her own kids. She watched her mother become reclusive and reliant and it made her depressed.

    I was very young so don't really remember. It may have been my grandmother had those tendencies and living with us exacerbated them.

    So much depends on the age of your mother and her personality I suppose.

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    Frankenmum  (09-12-2015)

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    Quote Originally Posted by Sonja View Post
    My grandmother lived with us for a few years when we were kids. My mother said it was terrible for her independence and as a result would never ever live with any of her own kids. She watched her mother become reclusive and reliant and it made her depressed.

    I was very young so don't really remember. It may have been my grandmother had those tendencies and living with us exacerbated them.

    So much depends on the age of your mother and her personality I suppose.
    Thanks @Sonja

    My mum is relatively young, she's 59, and very active and independent - she works, exercises and socialises. So I don't think she'd become dependent on us

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    I never had a good experience. I had my dad move in and supported him for just over 2yrs financially etc. It was a huge strain on everything for us(myself, kiddo and dad). Things are still not the best even though he has gone as he still believes he has that control. He also hates looking after kiddo for me too which doesnt help either tbh.

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    Frankenmum  (09-12-2015)

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    We are doing it and absolutely love it. Dad is very fit & active and works full time and lives with us. It means so many positives: bigger mortgage (better property!), a babysitter for emergencies and occasional nights out, another set of hands helping to maintain the place. We all combine bills and save money. He gets to see his grandkids grow up and have a really close relationship with them, and we get that feeling of relief just from having another adult around. Negatives are of course less privacy - though your floorplan or a granny flat situation could alleviate that. Also personality matters a lot. We are all very mellow, he is so laid back he's horizontal so living with someone very uptight would be a challenge - whether or not you are related!

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    Frankenmum  (09-12-2015)


 

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