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  1. #11
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    I think this is just one of those things where everyone has an opinion (sometimes a strong opinion) and no one really has any proof of what is better or worse. I think it depends largely on the child. My son was always clingy and frightened of strangers. I work, but only on days when my husband or mum can watch him. It would have broken my heart to send him to daycare where I know he would have just cried all day.
    On the other hand, I know other kids who love daycare from day 1 and have thrived in that environment. Of course that doesn't really apply to you because your family watch him but my point is you do what you need to do. It's no one else's business.

  2. #12
    Join Date
    Nov 2010
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by SeeSeals View Post
    Hi Mums. I need non-biased advice from someone who understands my situation! I feel like I am just trying to please all the important people in my life and it is impossible. I returned to work this past week (Thurs 9-7.30 Friday 9-3 and Saturday 8.30-4) I am lucky enough to have my Mum, Sister and Husband doing one day each. My issue is; my mum and sister both think i shouldnt be returning to work this early (my DD is nearly 5 months). Ultimately i would love to be a SAHM but my husband wants me to return to work for financial reasons (even though we could get by without the extra income - we would just have to live very tightly). Lastly, I love my job and my boss and she has been awaiting my return as have my personal clients. I am feeling so guilty that i might be doing wrong by my DD. She has coped ok without me with my mum and sister. But my DH struggled a lot. I am constantly stressing about whether I am doing the right thing. Any advice or personal stories would be greatly appreciated!! Thank you!
    You would be questioning whether you're doing the right thing if your child were 2 months, 6 months or 12 months. That's natural, as mothers we always doubt ourselves and whether we're doing the best thing for our kids.

    Whether it's the right decision for you is for you and your DH to decide, not the entire extended family, not your friends or colleagues or anyone else.

    Being a working mum isn't easy. But it's got a lot of positives as well. And 3 days a week is a pretty good balance IMO, but of course each family is different. You sound like you love your job and have many good reasons to go back to work.

    Your child won't suffer because you're back at work. They won't even remember it. As long as you're happy with the care they are receiving whilst you are at work, it will settle down and be fine in no time. I personally think it's good for children to learn to spend time with others (again not for everyone, touchy subject), especially your DH.

    Family often say things that rub us the wrong way, and this doesn't stop now. Try not to let comments upset you, if they continue to voice their opinion or make comments like that it's worth having an open and honest chat with them about how those comments make you feel, and what their alternative suggestions are (often they will apologise and not wish to take it any further). Often comments are made without any real thought as to how they may be interpreted.

    Try to trust yourself 😊

  3. The Following User Says Thank You to sunnygirl79 For This Useful Post:

    MrsMummaButterfly  (08-12-2015)

  4. #13
    Join Date
    Sep 2013
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    You poor thing! I think you need to do what feels right for you and what works best for you and DH and your marriage, finances etc.

    I'm quite horrified at your Mum and Sister having a go at you for going back to work when they get to mind DD!! What a bonus for them! My sister went back to work two x half days a week when my nephew was six weeks old and I had him for one of those afternoons (grandparents the other) and I was beside myself with excitement at getting to spend one-on-one time with this precious little boy. My sister left me with expressed breast milk, nappies, bassinette etc and I was so thrilled that she felt comfortable enough to leave her little boy with me for a few hours every week. We have a great relationship, as he does with his grandparents.

    I think your family is looking at this the wrong way - it is a privilege to be so involved in your DDs life. I think you need to point that out to them and keep doing what you're doing.
    Last edited by Summer; 08-12-2015 at 16:29.

  5. #14
    Join Date
    Dec 2015

    Default Thank you!

    Thank you so much ladies for all your reples and advice! I am going to give it a few more weeks to see how DD handles it. Worst case I could talk to my employer about cutting down my hours a little. Feeling much better about my decision to return to work after this. Thanks again Mums 😊

  6. The Following User Says Thank You to SeeSeals For This Useful Post:

    DT75  (14-12-2015)


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