I would speak to the carers at the centre. I had similar concerns about my DS. I would ask him how his day was etc and he told me he had no friends and could never tell me what he did that day I spoke to his carer an she assured me this was not the case, he actually played really well with all the other kids and was super active every day. He just couldn't be bothered to try and remember these things at the end of the day. He is better at talking about his day now and he is in grade 1.. A lot of the other mums I speak to around the school have the same experiences.. P.S I didn't bother making many connections with other day care families, but it has been much easier doing this now that my kiddies are in school. Some kids though are just loners and are kinda happy that way.. Speak to the leader in his daycare room and see what they think
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03-12-2015 17:29 #11
03-12-2015 18:35 #12
Thanks everyone, today was my first day back at work for almost 2 years and im exhausted, so I'll reply later or tomorrow.
03-12-2015 19:55 #13
Is he chatty about other things? Like what did you do with Grandma etc?
03-12-2015 20:09 #14
I don't think it's abnormal, this is my DD pretty much (she's 4).
Instead of badgering her when she gets in the car, when she's tired and still processing a very long and over stimulating day, I instead wait til she's had dinner and is a bit more relaxed. Instead of asking her what she does, I ask her what her favourite part of the day was. Or what made her laugh? Or smile? Or sad? Sometimes I chat with her carers.
DD hasn't been invited to any parties either! A few from her kinder friends, but none from daycare. Tbh I'd find it really hard to factor that time in anyway, she already has other friends (our friends kids) and activities where she can socialise.
I wouldn't worry too much at this age to be honest.
03-12-2015 20:39 #15
03-12-2015 20:44 #16
I think there are already plenty of good suggestions above. Try not to stress, some children make friends easier and sooner than others, it doesn't mean anything is wrong.
My DS has been at the same early learning centre 3 days a week for almost 2 years. It was only about May this year that he showed any obvious friendship preferences and got his first party invite. He's only had 2 in total (he is not quite 4.5 now). I have noticed a massive difference in the past few months now he has 2-3 boys he considers his 'besties'.
He usually refuses to discuss his daily activities. It's kind of like he's a teenager already I ask him 'what did you do at school (kindy) today?' And he responds 'nothing'!!
I know he has fun though. Do your son's carers say he appears to be enjoying himself while he is there? Are you otherwise happy with the centre?
I sometimes wish I could be a fly on the wall and watch how my son is when I am not there 😂
03-12-2015 21:07 #17
Why hasn't DS made friends at daycare
I also ask my son what his favourite part was about the day and he will say some random thing. He will give snippets. For about a year now he's had a best buddie and talks about seeing his friends at care. They only this year started inviting each other to parties. I missed a few invites by not checking his care bag properly. I always watch and observe like a fly in the wall. I will watch the playground for a bit before being spotted of a kid saying Max you're mum is here 😏. I watch through the windows and ask the staff every day how their day was and they tell me if he got upset, in trouble, enjoyed something or any issues.
Last edited by lilypily; 03-12-2015 at 21:16.
03-12-2015 22:02 #18
Honestly, doesn't sound odd to me either. Kids are all different.
I've worked as a carer (essentially replacing a parent for day-to-day stuff) with kids from 13 months through to 15 years, and they pretty much all give 1 or 2 word (or my favourite - grunt) responses to "how was your day?" "what did you do today?". You have to be specific with your questions. Who helped you with something today? What was the best game you played? Who said something that made you feel good? If you could spend your whole day at daycare with one person, who would it be? etc.
Parties... Plenty of people don't invite daycare friends to their kids birthdays. Even for those who do, it's not always easy to find out from kids who they play with/who they'd like to come (as I'm sure you'd be aware from how much your son tells you about his days :P)
As for friends...kids are different. Does he like socialising with other children in general? My daughter doesn't really like other kids. She gets put off when kids don't respond in the way that she expects them to, and would rather just stay out of their way. If he does like socialising with other kids, he may not be the kind of kid who sees those relationships as particularly important to him right now. Some kids are "this is my best friend!!!" as soon as they meet someone, and others can play with a child every day for a year and say "yeah...they're alright".
I know it can be hard not to worry...but it doesn't sound like there's anything wrong. Talk to your son's carers...they can surely fill you in on what he does/how he acts when he's there. Hopefully that can give you some reassurance
03-12-2015 22:56 #19
I have a teenager and let me tell you, I've been having the exact same conversation with him since he was 5 ...
"How was school?"
- Boring/good/it was OK.
"What did you do?"
- I don't know, mum, I can't remember.
03-12-2015 23:10 #20
Sounds exactly the same as my 4.5yo DS. He dislikes going to daycare (cries at most drop - offs, he'd rather stay home with me , but is fine within minutes of me leaving).
Every evening I ask him what he did today, the answer is always the same "played on the bikes and in the sandpit". I know he's done lots more but he never tells me about it! He can never remember what he had for lunch.
He occasionally talks about some of the boys in his room, but plays with lots of kids..no best friend yet. He's never been invited to a party but I would never expect him to be? I'd never ask daycare kids to a party myself (daycare is near my work, a long way from my suburb).
He sounds completely normal to me!!
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