I am a hopeless housekeeper and a below average mother lol.
I want 2016 to be organised! I want to stare it in the face and show it that I can do this!
I'm after general organisation tips for day to day life.
At the moment, I'd be a contender for Hoarders and/or Dr Phil but probably wouldn't make the final cut hahaha. I am laughing to myself right now, I think I'm funny! It's funny, because my desk at work has to be perfect but then I get home and my house is a shambles.
I'll give you a general run down on my life but please, if you are looking for tips etc as well, feel free to add your story! The more the merrier!
So, I'm 36 and a single mum of three kids aged 10 (B), 8 (B) and 6 (G). We live with my Mum. Mum works pretty much full time and I work three five hour days in a week, maybe increasing an extra day a month next year. The kids are all in school. They currently don't do any extra curricular activities although I will be booking them in for swimming lessons for term one next year, probably of a Friday afternoon. The kids are with mum and I 24/7, they have minimal contact with their father, maybe see him once a year for an hour or two. My eldest has recently been diagnosed with ADD (no "H") and is now on Ritalin with positive signs being shown at school. My other boy has an appointment with a paed for assessment etc but not until well into term one. My daughter is a diva and it is all my fault, I've spoilt her terribly. Not that her brothers aren't spoilt either! I suffer from depression and anxiety but have been pretty good the last six months or so compared to recent years. I loathe cooking. Mum does most of the cooking but I need/want to step up. I mop and tidy once or twice a week. Mum has a "thing" about washing so she does all of the washing because I obviously do it wrong haha. The kids rarely do their homework. My baby boy needs orthodontic work ASAP.
I've got myself a 2016(!!) diary today and have put in relevant dates and appointments and have also updated my up to now barely used calendar on my iPhone.
I want to have a tidier house, a meal plan, chores for the kids (at the moment they have none), homework done every day, family time.... Just a well organised, happy household.
Help me. Please. Ask me anything, I'll be honest.
PS - This has been REALLY hard for me to write and I know that I'm a lazy, spoilt slob but if you could please judge me silently, that'd be great xx
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01-12-2015 22:34 #1
Tell us how you get organised.
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Skye Baby (12-12-2015)
01-12-2015 22:45 #2
01-12-2015 22:49 #3
I'm certainly no expert, but this is what I would do...
1) Organise with your mum which nights you will each cook per week. If you know in advance it is easier to make sure you have the right ingredients and cooking healthy meals becomes less of a hassle. I would actually also get your oldest to cook a meal a week. Probably initially this will include you teaching him, but I think he is a good age to start with simple meals.
2) sit down with your kids and come up with a chore roster together. Discuss consequences/rewards of not getting this done. aim to make them as independent as possible with their chores - takes a load off you.
3) aim to make the kids responsible for their own homework. At the moment they are clearly getting away with not doing it, maybe create a reward for homework completion each week/month?
4) give yourself a bed time.. I don't know if sleep is an issue for you, but I find if I go to bed at a reasonable time and wake at a reasonable time I am more energised for the day.
don't know if this is any help at all.. My oldest is 6 so I would imagine getting pre teens motivated to do housework would be hell.
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01-12-2015 22:52 #4
Tell us how you get organised.
I don't know any other way to say it but you just have to get up and do it.
I've got 3 kids aged 7, 5, and nearly 3.
I work 3 days a week. My kids are in before and after school care or daycare 7:30-4/5pm on those 3 days.
My eldest does 3 x dance lessons 2 afternoons a week. I don't have to stay there so that's easy. She also does Oztag, swimming lessons, taekwondo, girl guides.
My son was doing footy but the season is finished. He also does Oztag, swimming lessons, taekwondo.
My youngest does swimming lessons.
I do all my washing on Thursdays and Sundays. I usually clean the house Sunday morning whilst my husband takes the kids to swimming lessons. I used to have cleaners but they never do a good enough job, so now I do it myself.
What do you do on the days you're not working?
01-12-2015 22:58 #5
Just wanted to say good luck, it's obvious you really, really want this and I know it's cliche, but if there's a will there's a way!
02-12-2015 00:21 #6
Your household dynamic sound quite similar to mine (minus the mum and add lots of sport etc).
I'm not a good housewife either...but in recent years I have made a real effort to be better and more organised. I feel much better for it, I am far far from perfect but it makes me feel better about myself to be more organized, less frazzled and have a vaguely neat home.
My top tips - use your phone/ diary/wall calendar vigilantly. I put EVERYTHING in it...All the school stuff, sport, work etc.
-have set days to do different chores ie my washing must be done on Mon and folded/away by Tues. Bathroom cleaned on Sat, etc etc. I have a "cleaning morning" with the kids. They each have allocated rooms to clean (ie my 10yo does family room and cleans toilet...they are his jobs...no excuses)
- meal plan Sunday, write a shopping list, shop on Monday for the week. Saves money and more importantly time. I have printed a list of all our usual meals and the kids choose a meal each a week.
- homework. .I have given up on this one. The kids can suffer the consequences of incomplete homework at school! Not a battle I'm willing to fight anymore.
-on the school hols clean out a cupboard/pantry/drawer at a time. Make the job small and manageable do you don't get discouraged.
- when you clean out and decide to get rid of something, do it immediately - bin or donate! Just get it out of the house NOW!
Good Luck...just start with some small changes and build on it. And being a crap housekeeper doesn't make you a below average mother. ..not in a million years! Children don't judge their mothers love by the neatness of their home, so keep you chin up hun xxx
02-12-2015 00:57 #7
I'm a single mum, I have the kids 100% of the time, so I can relate on that level. My kids are younger though, 5 and 3, and I don't have any family nearby... But, here's my two cents anyway...
Every day, I do the dishes and vacuum downstairs. I tidy away the stuff that accumulates and I do a load of washing. I also aim to clean something every day, be it the shower, a wall or two or vacuum upstairs. The girls are in charge of tidying their toy room, though they do a terrible job, so I frequently go in there and sort everything and put all the sets back together, they also like to "help" with dishes and laundry.
I find that having the right mindset really helps. In my case, it's accepting that everything is my responsibility, so I just get on with it. I occasionally wallow in self pity and will go on a bit of a housework strike, this is always a big mistake! There's no housework fairy that's going to come in and pick up the slack for me, though I wish there was.
Also, declutter your home. Throw away, donate or sell as much as possible. Once you have a clean, uncluttered space, it is so much easier to maintain and you'll want to keep it clean and tidy.
Not sure about how to tackle chores or homework with older kids, sorry. But I guess clear consequences for not completing tasks, consequences that you can carry through, would be a good start.
I hope that helps a little?
02-12-2015 03:57 #8
Tell us how you get organised.
It doesn't work for everyone but I find using a paper day planner works for me. I've only got one toddler and 3 days a week of work but he's very full on so its hard to get stuff done with him and he doesn't sleep, plus I've been doing IVF most of the year so have lots of blood tests, keeping track of meds and appointments.
I use my planner for everything now (it's geeky but I love it) and I sit down every Sunday and plan out the following week or further in advance. That way i carve out time for any things we have on, I plot out time for me to do a workout or go for a walk and I find if its written in the planner, I do it. Also makes it easy for me to keep track of what's coming up i.e. Birthdays, friends dinners, birthdays etc.
The things that help me are
Meal planning - it can be a pain but it's so easy to have everything you need for dinners that week and don't have to run to the shop. I also spent 1 or 2 nights a month batch cooking snacks and freezing prepped slow cooker meal to save time.
Cleaning/domestic stuff - I find a challenge with a human tornado who constantly creates mess so I follow fly lady zones (look her up on the net) and that helps. I do one zone each day usually, plus I do a full load of washing and hangout it/put it away. Basically I try to do one part of the house i.e. Bathroom or kitchen once a week so you're only spending a small amount of time each day to keep on top of it. I also spend half an hour decluttering once a week.
Could you set some small chores for the kids to help you? Like emptying the recycling/bin or sweeping the floor.
For the kids homework would a fridge chart work? Then you could tick it off each day?
I actually used to hate the need to be organised, I'd rather just let things go but when I've got everything planned, even if I fall off the wagon sometime (which I do!) it doesn't feel like im living in chaos.
02-12-2015 08:07 #9Senior Member
- Join Date
- Apr 2008
Omg I'm getting a headache reading all these organised tips 😉
I can so relate to wanting to get organised. It's hard when it doesn't come naturally. Give yourself a break you are raising 3 kids without a partner that would be hard. My house and kids get into such a state I find it hard to know where to start despite getting lots of fab ideas on here. My only advice is to start small and don't expect big changes to happen overnight.
Sorry can't write more as my bossy 8 year old who refuses to ever do any housework cus it's boring is chasing me to play whose who, my 6 year old is trying to tell me about alpha blocks and I know I have 5 mins before toddler gets cranky... I've diary planners and cook books and big plans all around the house and we are always rushing out the door...
02-12-2015 08:32 #10
I never used to be all that organised but since having DS that's all changed.
I use the calendar on my phone so it is always with me. I put all appointments, birthdays, parties, catch ups and regular things such as swimming on there so when someone asks if we are free or when trying to make appointments I can know immediately. I have remindei\
for appointments and check it regularly so I know what's coming up for the week.
I do some sort of housework every day. The minimum is that the dishes have to be done and kitchen clean, beds made and a load of washing done or folded and put away. I will also do a general tidy of each room so it's not a bomb site. When DS is napping I get vacuuming, mopping, bathrooms, bed changes, dusting etc done. At the end of every day all his toys are put away otherwise they drive me crazy.
I am working really hard on not collecting too much stuff. DS already has too much and I'm trying to keep toys and clothes to a minimum as it becomes overwhelming very quickly. It's so much easier to keep things clean and organised when you don't have too much stuff clogging up every space in the house. It feels so much better having less stuff around.
I do one big shop every month and smaller shops in between (1-2 x a week) for fresh food top ups or special occasion food. I order online with Coles or will go and do it when I don't have DS. I try and do my gift shopping well in advance (Christmas, birthdays etc) so I don't have huge rushes trying to find gifts the day I need them. It's far less stressful!
Basically you have to just start doing it and I found it has become habit over time. I don't have to do hours of housework at a time because I do smaller bits more regularly.
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