Interested to know what peoples opinions are on married men having close female friends?
What boundaries would you insist of if it were your husband? Or do you think if you trust him its the same as a same sex friendship - like they can spend time alone together, talk about sex in a joking kinda way or sexual innuendo and chat about each others spouses / partners and their relationships? Or would that be inappropriate and / or asking for trouble?
Any Opinions / experiences please? Ta 😊
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01-12-2015 19:14 #1
Married men having female friends??
Last edited by SoThisIsLove; 01-12-2015 at 19:24.
01-12-2015 19:17 #2
For me it would depend on whether they were friends before I came along or after. After - totally not OK, before - there would be some limits on conversation topics, but I would expect that that would happen naturally anyway.
01-12-2015 19:21 #3
OK let's say after its after u came along but had been friends for quite sometime....the husband gets along better with females than males and has a lot in common with said female friends and they are all in long term relationships etc.
01-12-2015 19:26 #4
Then I'd be ok with it, I trust my husband and would assume that it's the same as a same-sex friendship. He knows that I'd go all Lorena Bobbit on him if he cheated so there's some incentive to keep it zipped!
01-12-2015 19:27 #5
I think it's fine for husbands to have female friends. If you have a trustworthy relationship, why not?
It might be weird if they had a lot of female friends and spent a lot of time with them, more time than with male friends etc. Or if those female friends were single and flirtatious etc.
I have a few male friends I catch up with occasionally, running buddies etc. My DH is fine with it, and I am fine with him to catch up with his female friends too. We are very open and honest with each other and have no reason not to trust one another.
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01-12-2015 19:54 #6
There should be some boundaries for sure. I mean, if my partner had close mates who are women, if he wanted to flirt or talk about our relationship, I would think it is better off to be single then he could do what ever he wants. Call me old fashioned but there should be some kind of offlimits to what he talks about with his female friends.
01-12-2015 20:02 #7
I work in a very male dominated industry. If I didn't have male friends I'd be pretty short in the friends department.
I'm not flirty with any of them as such, but I will give them a hug/kiss for Christmas, birthdays etc.
01-12-2015 20:16 #8
I have no issues with DH having close female friends. He has one (they met after he & I started living together) & they are pretty close.
We trust & respect each other. I have no reason to restrict who he is friends with or vice versa.
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01-12-2015 20:17 #9
Married men having female friends??
I have male friends, some of who I meet up for lunch or coffee.
I feel like my DH would be controlling who my friends are if he tried to tell me that I couldn't be friends with people based on their gender. But I understand that there's a balance to be had between trusting the other person and respecting your partner and their wishes.
For me, and our relationship, I feel like having lunch/coffee etc with a friend of the opposite sex is fine and is ok with at meeting that balance. Activities like spending all night together alone, coupley type activities like dinner and movie etc wouldn't be.
It's different again if there's been something happen in a relationship where a line has been crossed previously. Then maintaining that balance would look a bit different.
I'm not sure if I expressed myself well, I'm tired.
Last edited by smallpotatoes; 01-12-2015 at 20:20.
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01-12-2015 20:21 #10
Depends how much time they spend with this person I guess. If it's an occasional association in a sporting club or in a workplace I wouldn't think much of it. I totally trust DP and have no reason to not trust him (though he's a sole trader and works for small building companies and plastering companies so this is not even possible)
If this person was expecting to spend time with my DP when he would normally be spending time with me, then I would have a HUGE problem with it.
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