We don't open each other's Mail. We don't know passwords . We don't shower in front of each other or get dressed in front of each other. We certainly don't poop in front of each other!! I don't have a great marriage
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01-12-2015 06:17 #21Senior Member
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- Aug 2013
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01-12-2015 06:36 #22
We don't open each other's Mail usually but there is always exceptions. If I rang df and asked him if he wanted me to open one and he told me off, I would be angry and probably rage at him down the phone line. He would only say something like that to me if he was stressed or distracted though.
I don't have a password on my phone, and df told me his password. I know his passwords to everything because he can never remember them. I never log out of things so he could always check my stuff if he so felt inclined to. I don't have anything to hide. He would die of boredom before shock if he was fishing through my fb messages or whatever
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01-12-2015 06:37 #23
DH and I share everything. Nothing is off limits. I work from home and he works out of the home, so since I'm the one collecting the mail from the mail box, I open and sort it all.
I regularly clear out the receipts in his wallet (I do the banking and budget) and he will fish though my purse for coins when he needs them. Our phones are the same as any other asset we own - the property of both of us - so we can use/look at either one freely, not that we often do. We also answer each other's phones if the other can't get to it when it rings.
I never thought anything of it to be honest! We're just like an open book
01-12-2015 06:38 #24
His mail is his mail. It doesn't have my name on it, if it was my mail to open my name would be on there. I know his passwords for his emails etc but if I have to access it for some reason I always tell him I'm doing so. I trust that if he got something I should know about he would tell me.
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01-12-2015 06:48 #25Senior Member
- Join Date
- Jul 2015
Wow, reading this it shows me DP and I are open books. Open each other's Mail all the time without a second thought.... If it is important we'll call each other and be like 'hey you got this in the mail today'.
She also cleans out my work bag and wallet for me, never asked her to but she just does and it's not something I ever get around to doing myself.
We have one bathroom, so if one of us is in there, chances are so is the other.
So OP, if I was opening her mail all this time with no issue and she turned around and said 'don't be so nosy' I'd be offended. Only because it's not her and out of character.
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01-12-2015 06:54 #26
Passwords I know all his as he never remembers them. I am permanently logged in on most devices so he checks my Facebook everyday by default. If he didn't he wouldn't know what's going on on the extended family. His account is boring apparently
Bathroom and toileting is done behind closed doors.
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01-12-2015 07:11 #27
Sometimes I like to pretend to myself that I can still be a separate human, with separate thoughts and feelings and a moment to process things without discussing them. During those times, I get snipey at DH if he wants to read my mail over my shoulder. That said, it's nothing deep and I always show him/discuss it immediately. I wouldn't want him to go ahead and open my mail or read my emails or login to my facebook without me knowing. It just feels like a bit of a boundary crossed for me.
01-12-2015 07:12 #28
I open DH's mail if it looks like a bill (utilities, car stuff etc) but anything else I'll leave for him.
If there was an important looking letter I'd check with him first & would be pretty offended if he told me to stop being nosy.
We have a degree of privacy in our relationship - we don't know each others fb/phone/email/bank passwords & we each have our own bank accounts aside from our joint account. DH doesn't go through my handbag, I don't go through his wallet. That being said, we don't hide things either.
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01-12-2015 07:13 #29
However we do know each others passwords for email and facebook and everything else and have often asked each other to login for us if we can't access from where/what we are doing at the time. It's more an illusion of privacy, than actual privacy and that's fine. There is nothing to hide.
01-12-2015 07:52 #30
I occasionally open DH's mail if he doesn't bother opening it himself - it's usually things like bank statements or superannuation/union stuff that he finds uninteresting. He doesn't mind at all, and on previous occasions I have asked him before opening stuff.
I wouldn't care if he opened any of my mail, as long as he didn't misplace it! He doesn't open my mail though.
If I called my DH to ask if I could open an item of his mail and he told me not to be 'nosey', I would be concerned he was hiding stuff from me. A simple 'no, it's cool, just leave it for me and I'll open it when I get home' I would be okay with.
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