Hmmm I'm very familiar with my male coworkers and I have no interest in them.
To be honest the only thing raising alarm bells for me is the text at midnight. I would never do that.
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30-11-2015 17:33 #11
30-11-2015 18:42 #12
The things that I would find extremely uncomfortable are having someone else but your present for you (I don't think it's inappropriate just incredibly lazy) and the remark calling him a "soft ****".
You can have a friendly workplace without sexual innuendos and the like.
My bench mark for work behaviour is whether my conduct around a co-worker would require explaining to a 3rd party who might witness it or listen in in case they got the wrong impression.
My DH works with 9 women (all his juniors) and that type of behaviour would make me incredibly uncomfortable.
30-11-2015 18:55 #13
It sounds like he is an attention seeker.
It's really disrespectful to you. If one of these things occurred in isolation then fine but all together they add up to be unacceptable.
Showing other people selfies that you took is just plain rude. I could understand him showing them a nice family pic but a selfie?? No. Just no.
30-11-2015 19:01 #14-
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30-11-2015 19:04 #15
30-11-2015 19:12 #16
30-11-2015 19:15 #17
Gawd I was from a workplace where all that was incredibly normal.
30-11-2015 19:17 #18
30-11-2015 19:27 #19
totally not cool. and sorry to hear you're going through all this whilst pregnant.
it sounds as though he enjoys the attention. has he ever gone further with any of these girls?
I used to date a guy who behaved like this. he was always only ever "just friends" with all these girls who'd always be texting him at stupid hours, calling up drunk/messy etc. he'd always down play it to my face but I knew underneath he enjoyed the attention, even if he thought not much of these girls.
it was a constant source of tension between us and the cause of many many fights. he'd always accuse me of being controlling etc and I'd say why can't you just grow up and act like a guy in a relationship etc etc.
we didn't break up because of that by itself in the end, just a bunch of other stuff.
I think it's the mark of an immature and probably insecure guy. he probably enjoys the attention of these idiots at work as well as the stability of his home life with you.
I don't know what the solution is. if you've not talked to him about it, I suggest you do so. although you've said this behavior goes back a few years so maybe it's not even a maturity thing.
do you love him otherwise? are things good this stuff aside?
he really needs to grow up and start behaving more professionally but it's got to come from him. it's not something anyone can really make him do.
I'm sorry you're in this crappy situation, I know how it feels and it must be magnified horribly because you're pregnant. I hope he grows up and starts being a man for you and your bub once bub arrives!
30-11-2015 19:28 #20
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