My husband has had a history of getting drunk and smsing his female co workers. In fact things were extremely messy for a while there with him lieing to me and telling his co workers I was controlling.
The stopped about 3 years ago. I started to gain his trust again. Life was good.
At the start of last year he started a new job and everything seemed just fine, he reassured me he wants to keep a professional relationship etc with everyone.
About 3 months ago I noticed things that raised alarm bells. Firstly was my birthday. He asked his co worker female to buy my present for me. I did not like that at all. As this was a new girl and one of the first things he told me was the she was very attractive and very good at her job.
Secondly i put our 3 year old son on the phone the other day and he passed the phone to one of his female coworkers. Again, i saw this as unprofessional and raised alarm bells in me.
He went out to his work party and one of the female work co workers called him a soft **** to his face. He is her boss, she would not have said it if he these was not a large around of joking around going on in the work place. Another co worker sms him at 12am saying she threw up in the cab on the way home. Now all these women have boyfriends. One is notorious for sleeping around and getting drunk and needing to be 'saved'
I raised these censers with him and his response was that he has showed the women pics of me on his computer and they both think I'm very attractive. I was so embarrassed as he somehow got his hands on some selfies I took ( selfies are embarrassing!!)
I am 7 months pregnant. I am furious, it's all adding up quickly again. Am I over reacting? honest perspectives please?
at home is a nice husband and a great dad... I just see old work habits slipping back or at least I am fearing this.
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30-11-2015 15:18 #1Senior Member
- Join Date
- Sep 2009
husbands relationship with coworkers.
30-11-2015 15:27 #2
these behaviours seem totally out of order to me. if he is staying professional and behaving properly, he would not be getting such texts. I don't know why he would have shared your pics with his work mates.? I would not say you are over reacting, I would say he seems out of line. hugs, marie.
30-11-2015 15:33 #3Senior Member
- Join Date
- Sep 2009
I am going to say a few words to him, especially as I don't know what these women look like so why do they have a right to know what I look like. I feel unhappy and exposed, I don't even put my my pic or child's pics on Facebook.
30-11-2015 15:40 #4
I agree with Marie 100%! I'd be furious-these women seem too familiar and it matters that he is a good person/husband/dad outside the home as well. Hugs xx
30-11-2015 15:44 #5
I'd be questioning his behaviour as well... I think the fact that it's happened before ... And there are several women... I'd say the problem stems from how he is behaving around them.
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30-11-2015 16:10 #6
There is obviously a lot of flirting going on at his work place. No one behaves the way you have described out of the blue. His behaviour is disrespectful to you and completely unprofessional. It would not fly with me and I would be having a serious talk to him. The fact that this is repeated behaviour indicates to me that there are some issues going on for him where he feels he needs to get close to women. Maybe he needs to see a profession to work on some of these. Maybe he loves the attention but he is playing with fire.
Personally I would be mortified to txt my married boss at anytime unless it was work related. Clearly neither him or these women care about boundaries.
30-11-2015 16:26 #7
I'm on the fence. I work 40hours a week with people who know all about me my husband and kids. I feel like I know my bosses and colleagues partners even though I've only met them a few times and wouldn't hesitate to tap them on the shoulder if I saw them on the street to say Hi.
The few occasions a year the team all go out together it's very relaxed and we are all equals, no boss or junior etc - perhaps his get togethers are similar?
30-11-2015 16:26 #8
Wow, totally inappropriate! My husband works in a job where the majority of his co workers are female, I know that he has a great relationship with many of them and I do visit his work with the kids and have met them and some over the years have become friends of mine. He is a larrikin, lots of joking around but they all tell me they enjoy working with him. I would be similarly suspicious and peeved with your partners actions, too far and not appropriate.
30-11-2015 16:32 #9
I don't think I could handle that to be honest. I'd be like, see you later. My partner and I have the same opinion what is cheating, and flirting is pretty much on that list. I have no advice for you and I am sorry you have to go through this.
30-11-2015 17:11 #10
Yeah that's totally not appropriate, professionally or as a husband.
Being a good huband isn't just within your own home, its being a good husband everywhere - work, the gym, out with mates - its about having respect for your marriage all the time.
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