I can understand how you feel. I consented to an internal, and decided that it was too uncomfortable and asked her to stop. She said it wouldn't be much longer and continued. Afterwards she said that the reason it was so painful was that she had done a stretch and sweep. I have the same feelings about it as you do your situation, and it's been a year. There were further issues in my birth as well, which have all compounded each other. I've been looking into counselling for birth trauma - finding someone who specialises in it is important. A lot of people providing trauma and ptsd counselling don't often get it. I've gotten the you have a happy healthy baby line over and over - it's not helpful and invalidates all feelings you have in relation to the birth.
There is a closed Facebook page BTAANZ Peer Support, and the BTAANZ page in general - they might be able to assist with birth trauma counselling resources in your area. Doulas also often offer birth debrief sessions.
Feel free to PM me if you want someone to chat with who gets it
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26-11-2015 19:52 #11
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26-11-2015 19:52 #12Senior Member
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I agree with the suggestion to get in touch with the hospital, ask for an explanation and go from there. This is not something you need to simply "get over" but I hope that having all the information helps you get to a better place.
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26-11-2015 19:54 #13
OP have you thought of some counselling? It may help you to come to terms with it.
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26-11-2015 19:58 #14
Op, I see you're from Vic. I know of a birth trauma counsellor in Melbourne if you want me to pm the details.
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26-11-2015 19:58 #15
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26-11-2015 19:59 #16
26-11-2015 20:04 #17
Op labouring is such an incredibly vulnerable time and I can completely understand why you're still feeling this way about being uninformed/ not consulted. I think it's worth writing to the hospital to request clarification. I had a pretty amazing birth overall but there was one incident that kept playing on my mind. I ended up writing to the hospital and they were really responsive and helpful. I also felt better just having my feelings acknowledged.
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26-11-2015 20:07 #18
How would you feel?
I wouldn't really mind to be honest but I can get why some would be extremely upset and I do think the doctor was very wrong to not ask you first
Last edited by bunkx; 26-11-2015 at 22:40.
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26-11-2015 20:38 #19
Thank you again. I think i might request hospital record to find out exactly what happened.
Last edited by HLE; 26-11-2015 at 20:57.
26-11-2015 20:44 #20
Write a letter to the hospital. Writing in out is helpful, but be sure to send it too. I had a traumatic birth experience (and was even more upset with the way I was treated in the days after birth) over 4 years ago. I started writing that letter but never ended up finishing or sending it. Now I am trying to heal my birth trauma before I have the next one and it's very hard trying to remember details 4 years later. So please do it whilst it is fresh in your mind. And if you can find someone that specialises in birth healing please contact them also, I think it is important to deal with because those feelings can come up again in the future. I don't personally think birth is something you just 'get over' - it's so much more than a physical experience and I can completely understand why you would be upset.
(Fyi the doc broke my waters whilst they did a lengthy internal. Not sure if it was deliberate but there was no mistaking it once it happened, mine was very messy! The doc was just like 'oh there goes your waters'.)
Best of luck x
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