Have you heard of time in? I started doing this a week or 2 ago with my 2 year old and noticed a dramatic change. Time out wasn't working as effectively anymore for us. Anyhow just another view you might be interested in!
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27-11-2015 09:20 #11
27-11-2015 09:28 #12Senior Member
- Join Date
- Mar 2015
Can you pinpoint what about the tantrums sets your anxiety off the most? Yes, it is an age/developmental thing but in the meantime you need to look after yourself too.
I stressed a lot with DS. Its a lot better once I detached from the tantrum and actively tried to calm myself down. Earphones with music can block out the noise a bit.
Also she is ok. And normal. Maybe spend some time overpraising her good behaviour. And time in works the best for us. And keeping calm. DS gets vibes off me when stressed and it sets him off more.
Also vent. Vent it out. Have a break if you need. You are doing a great job.
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27-11-2015 13:13 #13
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27-11-2015 14:00 #14
Oh I wish I could tell you something different, I really do...but it is so normal! And you will get used to it! Mine is 3.5 and when you've only got one it can get so intense. It's hard not to give in to it and then it escalates...I'm getting better at just 'letting her go' as hard as it sounds. Hang in there...definitely consider the wine 😂
27-11-2015 14:30 #15
My son was the worst for tantrums but my girls were relatively very easy at that age. My youngest is 2, will be 3 in a few weeks and it's been a good age.
When my kids at that age were being challenging, I ask myself 3 questions.
Are they tired?
Sleep is the one thing that has caused anxiety in my parenting journey. It's the one thing I really stress over. Not so much now that my kids are 7, 5, almost 3. I am so much more relaxed about my youngest than I was for the others but I still make sure they get to bed at a reasonable hour 9 times out of 10. My son's behaviour turned really bad not long after he turned 2 and this coincided with him dropping his day sleep. 99% of his tantrums were because he was exhausted.
The other thing I ask myself is if they could be hungry.
And the last thing I think of is are they bored.
Now I'm not saying that these roll solve your daughter's tantrums but they certainly helped me understand my children's behaviour.
When my children are having a tantrum and there's no tears then they get no attention from me. Usually it means they're faking it for attention and when you ask her what's wrong, it's kind of validating her behaviour. I would try and walk away.
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27-11-2015 18:23 #16
Ds1 went through a tantram stage at 3 which lasted about 6 months. I found the bigger deal you made if it the worse the tantrams were, if they know they won't get such attention they will soon reduce. Ds2 never went through that stage and he's nearly 5.
27-11-2015 18:30 #17
I have been wondering the same about my ds1. He's 2.5 and soooooo defiant with me. More so since ds2 was born in september. He had been reasonably good before ds2 was born. We hadn't needed time out for ages. He went twice today! I will def be taking your advice @BigRedV 😊
27-11-2015 18:35 #18
Sorry OP, I'm a bit confused. Can you explain a little more why you are giving her time outs for waking badly from a nap? I'm not sure I'm understanding...
27-11-2015 20:04 #19
It sounds to me like she is over tired. The trip away, the giving up the dummy and now sore teeth have ment less sleep then usual. Now she is in this grumpy cycle where she is tired but not sleeping well and getting more tired and so it goes on. I don't think there is an easy fix. If it was me I would clear the schedule for a week. Stay home, be chilled and try to make sure she is having good naps. Put done focus on her eating well. I would also give nurofen before bed for a few nights. Hopefully this helps restart the cycle you are on. Good luck! No really, good luck!!! This age is hard and I constantly feel like I am very close to loosing my mind. Xxx
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