It IS unfair @Bongley. I often think about that myself. We have spent all but about $3,000 of the deposit which was intended for us to buy a home together. We have sold all our assets other than the basics which we need to be able to work and survive. We have no savings. My husband has no super. And we have exactly NOTHING to show for it but a lost baby who never entered this world. It is not fair, it really isn't. I feel for your friend. I feel for all of us unfortunate enough to have never held our much longed for babies in our arms.
We are not sure if we will do another round of IVF either. I don't know if we have enough money, and we don't have any more coming in other than what it will cost us to sustain ourselves. It's bl@@dy hard. It shouldn't come down to money to have a baby! I'm not sure what we will do. Do we do another round, or do we cut our losses now? It is a hard decision to make.
Results 1 to 10 of 913
24-11-2015 09:26 #1
IVF over 40 #22
24-11-2015 09:40 #2
@Summer, I am really sorry that your DH feels that way. When you are married there is no 'mine' or 'yours.' It's OURS. DSS is both DH and your responsibility. Hopefully the two of you will help (with his Mother) to develop him into a decent human being, and the cost and benefits associated with that belong to the both of you.
Likewise, doing IVF will hopefully bring into your lives a beautiful son or daughter. That child will bring joy into both of your lives and you will build a little family around him/her. The cost of doing that belongs to the both of you.
My DH has children from a prior marriage but he works like a dog so that I might be able to experience that joy for myself. For no other reason than because, well, he loves me. I'm really sorry that you are having to shoulder that financial burden alone and that your DH does not have that same consideration for your needs. I am angry on your behalf, it's just NOT RIGHT.
Hugs for you hon
24-11-2015 09:50 #3
Over 40s Roll Call
charlie74 - 4 frosties
MamaKes - DE 2016
Bongley - #12(OE) #3(ED) FET 15/12
tahli - ED (CFC) FET 7/12
sue77 - #7 ET 10/12
Summer - natural cycle
Gagingi - BT 19/12
JulieMalooley - #14 - CFC DE Twins
Chiefsgirl - #9 DE girl due 13th April
faithandhopellove - #6
petal40 - #7 due april 30 1 frosty left!
BlondeinBrisVegas - #5 baby girl born 28/8/14
MrsErinR - #4 DE
Emski72 - #8 DE (SA) baby girl born 12/11/14
Killarneygirl little girl
Liveandlearn - #4 baby girl born 22/9/14
Ann17 - #6 baby born 21/5/14
Sunny15 - #9 baby boy born 24/4/14
TeamPanda #8 baby girl born 21/4/14
MusicalGal #4 baby boy born 7/3/14
Twocam #1 baby boy born 19/1/14
Chook11 #6 baby boy born 15/1/14
Smileygirl #1 baby girl born ?/13
JoJoD #10 baby boy born 12/12/13
Bongley - #4 baby boy born 11/12
Wannabb - twins born 2012
Micca - #3 baby girl born 2011 and #11 baby born 18/1/14
Ertgirl #3 baby boy born 2012?
Cyd #10 baby boy born 2011?
Angels4Me #1 baby boy born /12
Octoberbaby2010 #2 baby born 20/9/10 and #8 baby born 19/4/14
GNH #1 baby girl born 2010 and #3 baby boy born 2012
Last edited by Bongley; 15-12-2015 at 13:17.
24-11-2015 09:50 #4Senior Member
- Join Date
- Feb 2014
24-11-2015 09:52 #5Junior Member
- Join Date
- Nov 2015
Hello there everyone. I am Brisbane based. This is my first cycle and I am very much in the dark. My heart is breaking for your friend Blossom. I am just having one IVF cycle and putting it to fate. What will be will be. I didn't even think I could convince DH ( I'm just learning the acronyms too) to try a cycle. So we just had ET yesterday and I have been told I have 13 eggs fertilised. We shall see which little ones make the journey. My FS said I was a champion for an "Old Chook"..... I actually don't feel that old. ( now how do I post this?)
24-11-2015 09:59 #6
24-11-2015 10:01 #7
I very much understand @Bongley. It's really hard, isn't it? I think it's normal to feel that way though. I often feel that pang of pain when I see pregnant women. It's not that I'm not happy for them - I'm just sad for me, and for anyone else who can't have that joy.
I'm really sorry for your friend @Bongley
24-11-2015 10:03 #8
24-11-2015 10:04 #9
DH pays me a wage that mainly goes towards household bills, so even though we are married, I don't feel as confident discussing $$ issues now that I'm not contributing the way I used to. DH is quite wealthy (asset rich) so if it came to it we could probably refinance a house to access funds to do DE, but that would all be from assets he had before we got together so I wouldn't be putting in any money and I feel guilty about asking him to do that.
At this stage I still have to contact my friend to see if she will do DE locally here for me, and if she will, then I'm sure he won't have an issue paying for that - if she decides against it, then I will have a serious talk to DH and point out the inequity in him being fine to pay huge legal bills for his son, but not for us to have a child together. He'll come round I'm sure, but I was so depressed last week it was just like another slap in the face.
Last edited by Summer; 24-11-2015 at 10:07.
24-11-2015 10:05 #10
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