Maybe it's because my dad was always around, and so was my FIL when DH was little, or maybe I'm just getting old and sick of hearing my friends make excuses for why their husbands are so useless.
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23-11-2015 22:36 #61
23-11-2015 22:36 #62-
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23-11-2015 22:39 #63
23-11-2015 22:39 #64
23-11-2015 22:42 #65
I know plenty of women who plead with their partners for help at home and with the kids. Like the op. I would think its a very common tale.
23-11-2015 22:43 #66
Sorry OP completely OT and I think you're situation is different. It's just something I've been ruminating over lately.
23-11-2015 22:46 #67
And just to add to in response to the OP, not helping etc is one thing but barely spending time with the kids? That would be the final straw for me. Even when DH and I are at our most exhausted and over it the kids still come first and just have to.
Being with his kids should be a joy not a burden.
23-11-2015 22:49 #68
My partner for example works fulltime and travels quite a bit for a week or so at a time is really only in the last 6-8 months starting to realise, after spending a few full days at home alone with our DS just how challenging and crazy active he is and how much he exhausts me.
I know a lot of households where the hubby might be helpful and hands on but it's certainly not a 50/50 split at all.
23-11-2015 22:53 #69
I also think it's upbringing like you say. My mother was a Germaine Greer level femo when I grew up lol she's softened a little but still is. We never had a good relationship, but one thing I always remember her telling me is "Don't ever think you can change a man. You may be able to buff them up like a stone and improve them a little, but you can't change they are a stone". And she also told me to always speak up and stick up for myself. She's had some really dysfunctional relationships, so I promised myself I would learn.
23-11-2015 23:25 #70
I guess what I'd like to know is whether these men were slack before they became parents and it just exacerbated it or whether having kids fundamentally changed them.
The women I know are intelligent and not meek at all. They just seem prepared to tolerate a level of ****tiness I find strange.
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