I don't let it go, but I do direct my comment at my child, ie "that isn't very good sharing is it?"
If I see a child smack mine, I will say "oh don't smack, that hurts" and leave it. If another parent makes a comment I will say "Well you should be telling them this but you didn't. Is it ok to smack?"
Or if they said my child hit first I will say "well obviously I did not see that or I would have said something. Why didn't you?"
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10-12-2015 11:22 #21
10-12-2015 11:29 #22
I agree that the 8year should be pulled up but the 3yr old probably doesnt know any better so a quick no hitting please is fine. My dd can be pretty bad sometimes and ive had a lady scream at her for pulling hair. I was almost the crazy mum bcoz shes only 2 and still getting the concept of gentle expecially when toys are involved so having a random lady pointing her finger and yelling in dds face it was super hard to control myself plus the girl was about 6 and pretty much let dd do it to her.
10-12-2015 11:42 #23
Oh on "who's role is it" as far as I'm concerned it is not my role to pull up the other kid, but it IS my role to ensure my child knows its not ok.
So, yes I will say something or redirect, but I won't be nasty, yell or anything like that.
10-12-2015 16:28 #24Member
- Join Date
- Jan 2011
Other children hitting yours
Sorry, double post!
Last edited by CluckyChook; 10-12-2015 at 16:34.
10-12-2015 16:33 #25Member
- Join Date
- Jan 2011
When I was in the city and would take my niece and nephews out to the park etc it generally depended on the situation as to how I handled it. If the child was young, I found a firm talking to such as 'now look what you've done, you've hurt /name/ and made them cry because you hit/yelled/whatever them and made them sad. What do we do when we make someone sad, we say I'm sorry and give them a hug' which generally works. Nieces/nephews always knew if they make someone sad or hurt them to say sorry and a hug and not do it again (though they were all the 'timid' ones of the group. When an older child who should know better was bullying the younger ones, once there was a girl and boy about 7-8 years old that were teasing and pushing around my 1yr old niece and when her 6yr old brother went to her defence the boy punched him and knocked him down I got a bit angry lol. Rotated OI at the top of my lungs and stood and pointed at the older kids and yelled 'DON'T hit and push them, they are younger than you, you should be ashamed!' And they just looked mortified, mumbled an apology and ran over to the lady they were with (not assuming mum as it could have been minder/Aunty/friend etc) and she looked mortified as well and was giving them a loud telling off as she took them to the car. I'm not really fussed as to whether the other adult reacts badly or not, generally it's an indication to where the child gets their aggression from!
Any child entrusted to my care will know I have their back no matter what, and that being said I have been quite firm with them when I see them bullying while we were out and made them sit aside and watch the others play. They knew if they couldn't play nicely, they didn't get to play at all.
Added to that, I knew my parents had my back if I was picked on. Mum taught me from an early age to stand up for myself, and when I was too young to defend myself she would always yell at the aggressor and he parent for allowing their child to behave like that to a baby/toddler in public. There was one time she remembers when I was almost 2 some kid (about 6-7 so definitely knew better) pushed me off the swing so they could use it so she walked over and picked the girl up under the arms, carried her to their parents and handed her over saying something like 'control your damn kid' and walked back, comforted me and sat on he swing with me on her lap and just smiled when the girl came to apologise. It's important kids know we will defend them, but also that we won't back up bullying behaviour if they are in the wrong
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