I've just found out again that I'm not pregnant. We have been trying for 8 months following a miscarriage. How do you not get despondent? I burst in to tears I was so devastated and I am not an emotional person. Luckily we already have a gorgeous DD3 but she's asking for a sibling and it's breaking my heart that I can't give her one when her parents want it so desperately as well. Anyone got any ideas on how to cope with the constant disappointment? Thanks
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18-11-2015 12:41 #1Senior Member
- Join Date
- Aug 2012
Not pregnant again!
18-11-2015 12:59 #2
Oh I wish I knew how to cope....big hugs. We have been TTC for 4 years with 1 miscarriage in that time. My DD is 5.5 and the only one at preschool without a sibling and it breaks my heart. She is the only thing that gets me through the misery I just think how amazingly blessed I am to have her as some woman never get to have a child. Fingers crossed you aren't waiting much longer
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18-11-2015 13:11 #3
I'm really sorry it's not happening for you, I have no advice but can only imagine your disappointment.
Wishing you all the best for the best cycle
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18-11-2015 14:07 #4
Wish I had some answers for you @Yardley it get harder and harder to keep going after each month of disappointment doesn't it. We have been ttc no2 now for 3 years and but all I keep saying to myself is to keep going as its the only way to achieve the dream. @Just*Ace I feel the same way as I watch DD go to kindy and shes one of the only kids without a sibling, she use to ask for a brother or sister but think she's given up now shes reverted to asking for a dog lol.
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18-11-2015 14:13 #5
No advice just sending you a great big hug. It's just awful. It took us 16 months to get pregnant with our second, which for many doesn't sound long but it was so draining and disappointing month after month. Hang in there and just look after yourself, I hope this is your lucky last month trying x
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18-11-2015 14:36 #6Senior Member
- Join Date
- Nov 2011
Hugs. It's really hard.
If it makes you feel any better, I am an only child and my childhood was far from lonely I don't remember ever being upset or angry for not having a sibling, just relieved to have 2 loving parents, a home with pets (I was/am animal mad) and friends around. Be gentle on yourself. It's OK to be angry, frustrated, sad that it's not happening for your family, but please don't let guilt creep in and wear you down.
That said - I should follow my own advice!! I'm in the same predicament and it's not easy at all.
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18-11-2015 15:12 #7Senior Member
- Join Date
- May 2012
I used to cry when I got my period, and I'd give myself 1 day to wallow in self pity. Then the next day I would pick myself up and focus on the new cycle. It was all I could do. Everything was out of my control but I had to keep going. I got my BFP on my 9th cycle. We've just started ttc #2
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18-11-2015 15:13 #8
Its really hard isn't it? We have been trying for 3 years and in that time we lost our second dd (stillborn at 21 weeks) and had 3 misscarriages. Dd is 5 and asks for a sibling all the time it breaks my heart.
I just try to focus on the positives. Its nice having just the three of us. Dd is spoilt rotten and we can do so many fun things with her. Its fairly easy with one child, and affordable to go on holidays theme parks etc. Dp and i get lots of time together as dd is close with her aunty and nana so has sleep overs regularly. The longer it takes to fall preg the older dd gets which means she'll understand more and be helpful when we have another and she'll be in school so I'll be able to give our next baby heaps of one on one time like dd got.
Obviously none of this takes away the pain of the losses or my overwhelming urge to have another baby but it helps me appreciate what I have and not to take it for granted. Xxx
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18-11-2015 15:20 #9
Huge hugs. I know how it feels. We started TTC number 2 a year ago now! DP fell pregnant first go with IUI but miscarried, and since then we've had BFN after BFN between us. It's heartbreaking. I feel like I'm missing out on DS by being so sad I can't give him a sibling yet. We are also financially wrecked because of the cost of IVF, which is additional stress.
I hope it happens soon for you. I wish I could say something to make it better but there's nothing that can be said or done to make it better, I know. People ask me what they can do to help but unless they can give me a newborn, there's nothing
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18-11-2015 15:29 #10
I'm in the same boat my dd is almost 5 and we are yet to give her a sibling. I have my down days and I have the days where I'm not as worried about it. I hope it comes for you soon.
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