I'd get a second opinion from another doctor. Reschedule work to drive him to appts. Clean up his diet if needed. MAKE him follow all the instructions to the last letter.
So basically I'd make sure he would be at every appt and that he was following the guidelines. Then I'd expect him to get on with life afterwards as it is over.
Unfortunately if I sat him down to talk about how he was feeling I'd end up saying stupid things like "statistically you have a 35% chance of the meds not working". Or as I told my grandmother when she got her cancer diagnosis "cheer up, yours has a survival rate of 60%, odds are good". In hindsight, not the smartest thing to say but at the time I thought I was being helpful. Btw it wasn't and my mum was horrified.
So now I don't offer much emotional support as I regularly stuff up but instead try to offer practical help ie driving ppl to appts, cooking for them etc.
ETA - I'm similar to my dad in personality. Not much of emotional capacity within and my mum needed way more from him. They are both happier now with different people who fulfill their emotional needs. I'm not saying you have to leave your dh OP.
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19-11-2015 19:52 #21
Last edited by Rose&Aurelia&Hannah; 19-11-2015 at 19:55.
19-11-2015 19:54 #22
That would still be more than the OP is getting
19-11-2015 20:12 #23
19-11-2015 20:30 #24
Where are you located?
Can you move closer to his family for more support?
My psychologist said to me recently there is no point in me just getting help as then it's just 'my problem' I hope that makes sense? So we just started therapy. We want too. Contact relationships Australia.
In the mean time I'm not sure how much you earn but I would book even a few hours childcare or maybe get some help around the home. Do you receive things from cancer council etc still?
The Following User Says Thank You to monnie24 For This Useful Post:
Wise Enough (19-11-2015)
19-11-2015 20:37 #25
19-11-2015 20:56 #26
19-11-2015 21:39 #27Senior Member
- Join Date
- Apr 2008
So he hates me emailing cus he can't shout me down and I like to get my thoughts straight. I asked him to just be honest about why taking 1 day off work was a big deal. No response we literally didn't speak for 2 days. Tonight I asked him had he any insights - "what into that long email?" - it was a paragraph. He just reiterates that he can't look after her until she is weaned. I've made her dependent. Full stop. Anything else I say about stuff around attachment and her being with me all the time, being 17 months and that means yes she is dependent. All that is me just shifting the blame onto him. Other families can wean no problem why is it an issue for me I should just stop feeding her. When I try and remind him that I've literally had no break for 17 months he accuses me of not appreciating him and what he does with the older children who I apparently neglect. So I said enough we need to see a counsellor I can't go on like this. Big fat no. I told him that if he doesn't it'll be the end of our family but I don't think he cares. You know how some people have to literally walk in another's shoes to have empathy. He is one. I'm kinda nervous to go to bed in case he decides to stick a pillow over my head for daring to speak up for myself. I seriously wish we had not moved to Australia now I'm am rightly screwed stuck here on my own now probably living off welfare...
19-11-2015 21:44 #28
Geezus. If you are too scared to go to bed I think you need to call the cops
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19-11-2015 21:45 #29Senior Member
- Join Date
- Dec 2005
I hope you can continue to seek counselling for yourself and build yourself up to the point where you are ready to leave this man.
I know you are strong enough - YOU just need to know you're strong enough
19-11-2015 21:54 #30
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