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  1. #1
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    Default Anxiety about flying with DS

    I'm fairly certain I started a similar thread this time last year when we were getting ready to take DS overseas for the first time and here I am again...

    DS (21months) and myself are flying to the States Thursday for Thanksgiving and because my parents now haven't seen him for a year (because god forbid they visit us). Anyways...I'm genuinely panicking. I feel absolutely sick to my stomach that something is going to happen to the plane and that I'm making a decision that is going to end my precious baby boy's life. I keep getting really awful imagines in my head of the flight and I'm genuinely so scared, I desperately want to cancel the trip.

    I don't really know what I'm looking for, just need to get it out as I keep getting this sick feeling in my stomach. I never used to be like this, afraid to fly, it's only since having DS. I've always had a standard nervousness that I think most probably have but it was easy enough to just push aside and be more excited about my journey rather than nervous, whereas this is just eating at me. It's not necessarily that I'm scared of dying, it's that I'm scared of DS dying, of making a choice (like taking him on a plane) that costs him his life.

    I don't really know what I'm looking for, just needed to type it out.

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    I know the feeling, I've been having similar anxieties the last couple years, And all the rationalisation In the world just does not help.
    I don't have any clever tips, wish I did.

    The other day the nausea from my anxiety drove me absolutely insane, so I have made myself an appointment to have some therapy, I have no idea what to expect, but I'm thinking it can't hurt :/

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    HollyGolightly81  (18-11-2015)

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    I'm so sorry you're feeling this way. It's so raw and debilitating isn't it?
    I'm not sure if you're a facts and figures person but if you are, will reading up on stats about the safety of air travel help at all?
    I know how silly that sounds. But I'm an evidence based worrier and sometimes that helped me.
    I don't blame you for being anxious about it. Our world doesn't feel the same anymore xx

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    Default Anxiety about flying with DS

    Quote Originally Posted by GucciDahling View Post
    I'm so sorry you're feeling this way. It's so raw and debilitating isn't it?
    I'm not sure if you're a facts and figures person but if you are, will reading up on stats about the safety of air travel help at all?
    I know how silly that sounds. But I'm an evidence based worrier and sometimes that helped me.
    I don't blame you for being anxious about it. Our world doesn't feel the same anymore xx
    I did that earlier, it doesn't really help, rationally it does but then I just think to myself 'but somebody has to be the statistic.' I've been crying most of the night (it's evening here in London). I don't think I have ever been this frightened of something in my life. I should add, I'm not scared of terrorism, just something happening to the plane.

    Eta: also, I'm pregnant. Maybe hormones is making it worse?

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    I'm sorry you are feeling this way. is there someone you can go talk to about it?

    sending you hugs and wishing you a fantastic holiday. What an adventure for your son

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    OP I also have a nasty fear of flying, for much the same reasons as you. I recently flew return to London with a 6 month old and 2 year old ( with my partner too). I completely second the mindfulness recommendation. Such a great approach - be completely in the moment. A great resource is the books and CDs of Jon Kabat-Zin ....please look him up.
    My flight was mostly anxiety free! There was one or two times when I gripped hold of my partners hand really hard and had a little cry when the seat belt sign went on in preparation for turbulence (so mild as it turns out!). But mostly, it was just exhausting , tiring and dull. MUCH better than being anxious! I found walks to the back of the plane with my baby to look out the little window and chat to the flight attendants were re ally helpful too.

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    Thanks ladies. I have tried mindfulness before, admittedly probably not long enough as I am horrible with visualization/shutting my mind off and usually just give up. I have a book and some apps but I'll give Calm a go. Usually once I'm on the plane I'm ok, kinda resigned to everything being out of my hands. It's just the build up of anxiety until we get in the air that I'm finding hard to cope with. I can't believe how genuinely frightened I am of this trip. 😢

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    Holly can you see someone to talk though your anxiety?

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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    Holly can you see someone to talk though your anxiety?
    I could in the future but my flight leaves in less than 24 hours so a bit late now. I had been doing fine until a few days ago.

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    In all honesty, I just want somebody to tell me it's ok and not the end of the world if I cancel this trip. I truly have never been so frightened to get on a plane in my life, this isn't a trip that *needs* to happen and I genuinely can't get past feeling like it's the wrong decision. Not one part of me feels like we're going to land safely.


 

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