We have spoken to the grandfather, but he (understandably) wouldn't be comfortable going around his daughter. He is a lovely man.
I am much more level-headed though and have been reigning in his need to scream by reminding him that the kids are old enough to see that this is all her, and not us.
We don't want them (or us) to miss out on holidays. But we can't see an alternative.
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17-11-2015 19:48 #41
17-11-2015 19:51 #42
17-11-2015 20:00 #43
That would still put us with the dilemma of being out $3000 (plus the cost of their flights) because of her change of mind. Whereas if we cancel our holiday for $800, the kids would want to stay with us instead of go there anyway, and that is what would happen. No way would H pay for their (and her) holiday when she is being this ridiculous. And she would happily go alone and leave the kids with us... she'd make a song and dance about it (especially with the kids) but she'd do it.
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17-11-2015 20:06 #44
So the issue is that your DH doesn't want to pay for bio-Mum and the kids to go on holiday where she returns after ten days, leaving the kids with the grandfather for five days (at what time she wants them to fly back as UM) but you guys aren't home for another three days, so essentially if you did keep your holiday and organise with grandfather to pick them up when you're back, they would be spending eight days with the grandfather which is too long?
So if you cancel your holiday and hers, she will happily pay for herself and leave the kids with you and not give a sh!t? I guess there's no way you can add them on and take them to Europe with you? Last minute cheap rates anyone?
17-11-2015 20:14 #45
Um.. wow that sounds confusing. We get back on Jan 5th, kids are due back Jan 2nd... so it would be 3 extra days with grandfather to cover us.
She is coming back on Dec 27th/28th (not 100%) for work, so her plan is for him to have them 4/5 extra nights and us to collect them on the 2nd.
So yeah it would be up to 8 extra nights for him if we could workout something.
Yes, she has done it before. I don't know about not giving a sh!t, as I know she loves the kids, but she has always been selfish in regards to social stuff.
They don't have passports, and it would cost more than the $3000 to add them with flights, accomodation, insurance, passports, etc.
She wouldn't agree to us taking them that far anyway.
17-11-2015 20:25 #46Senior Member
- Join Date
- Aug 2013
She sounds like a total nightmare. I feel sorry for you and your DH and the kids.
17-11-2015 20:27 #47
Ahh just wanted to say sorry for the predicament you're in. What a debacle
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17-11-2015 20:29 #48
17-11-2015 20:32 #49
Yep that makes sense - so grandfather would have them for eight days. Honestly, if that is doable with him and the kids I'd probably take that option, as who knows when you will be able to get back to Europe after bubs arrives? Not ideal, I know, but in the face of losing your holiday, and the kids there's, if DH can work it out with grandpa that might mean it still works for everyone. Sorry, there's no easy way out, it is ridiculous that she gets away with changing dates and trying to force everyone to work in with her when it's been sorted for ages - and then refusing to talk about it. You're doing really well to keep a level head and be the calm one for DH. The bio-mums usually know exactly how to push their buttons. I hope you can work it out so you still get your holiday and don't lose $800.
17-11-2015 21:05 #50
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