I've frequently flown UM both domestically and internationally from about 9/10yrs old with stop overs at Singapore or Kuala Lumpur mostly.
So I don't get the issue. UM are seated at the back of the plane next to the crew on most airlines. They only allow other females to sit near them. We always had dads credit card (secondary card) in our name to purchase food/accommodation as needed. Tho in all my years of flying UM I've never had an issue.
But the airline could only sign us over to a guardian that was prearranged upon arrival.
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17-11-2015 12:45 #31
17-11-2015 13:08 #32
Surprised so many would be ok with it. I don't believe myself to be an overprotective parent or paranoid person in any way, but would definitely not be ok with this. I'd be saying the kids can go on their holiday as long as they come home at the same time their mum does. It doesn't make sense for them to stay longer and fly home unattended when they could just come home when she does.
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17-11-2015 13:44 #33
Consent for Unaccompanied Minors
A little bit OT but do air hostesses/hosts have WWC and police checks regularly as part of their job?
17-11-2015 13:59 #34Senior Member
- Join Date
- Aug 2013
My kids flew UM for 10 yrs with no issues ever. They were always treated well and looked after with no dramas. They only ever flew in school hols with a lot of other kids and they all say together. The crew always took great care of them. My youngest was 5 when she first flew with her 7 yr old brother. we collected them at the gate and their dad did the same. We always hung round til the plane was in the sky ..
It really isn't bad
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17-11-2015 14:00 #35
All airline crew are background checked for safety.
I can understand the worry for young babies and toddlers but 7yrs+?
As long as they can toilet themselves and follow directions I would be ok with my kids flying UM domestically.
ETA- our parents have already offered to mind our kids in school holidays to save us vacation care money. So I can see me sending my three on planes to nanna/poppy etc at least twice a year without me.
Last edited by Rose&Aurelia&Hannah; 17-11-2015 at 14:02.
17-11-2015 14:07 #36
@DT75 I hear your frustration and being a step-mum myself, I know how difficult it can be when you are trying to be fair and work with the bio-mum and she deliberately sabotages things or makes things difficult for everyone. Obviously you've all been through a lot, thought you had this holiday thing sorted, and she's thrown a spanner in the works and won't discuss it.
Whether it is acceptable for others to have their kids flys as UM is immaterial. Your DH is not comfortable with it and has every right to have a voice on this issue, especially as it is a new situation that has been forced onto him by circumstance, not one that was arranged prior with his ex that they both agreed upon.
It does seem that he may have sorted it out now, but like @CazHazKidz has asked, why can't the kids come back at the same time as bio-Mum and stay with her for the extra three days until you are home again? Does she have something on that means she can't have the kids? Or if they are with a grandparent, does DH have contact with that grandparent and can organise for the kids to stay on holiday for three extra days so that you can pick them up if that was one of the main issues?
It does sound messy and I'm sure this situation is one of those "straw that broke the camel's back" issues. Although everyone likes to often think of the bio-mums as always having their kids best interests at heart and that it's the step-mums that have issues - I know from experience that there are some bio-mums who have very selfish interests and deliberately make things way more difficult than they need to be.
I hope you can sort it out in a way that everyone still gets a nice holiday
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17-11-2015 17:17 #37
Could she be seeing you as being just as inflexible with your dates in that you wouldn't arrange your holiday to end 3 days earlier? Are the kids staying behind on holiday to spend more time with family members which she thought would be nice for them rather than making them fly back with her and go into some sort of care while she has to work?
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17-11-2015 18:00 #38
Hi everyone, thanks for all the replies.
Hope I can clear a few things up without giving confidential stuff away.
As said before, H going to the police and advocate is something he has been advised to do (legally) when he feels necessary. It's not that I don't want to go into it, I legally cannot.
The kids do not want to travel as UMs- we found out from them that this would be happening NOT from their mother. When asked about it, she admitted it was true, and has since refused to discuss it. She also refuses to acknowledge the kids' fears regarding it.
We have offered several alternatives-
- they stay a bit longer, and we collect them them= no
- their grandfather comes here with them and he can stay with them at ours= no
- H comes home early from our trip and collects them from their grandfather's (we are going for 10 days to see my family whom I haven't seen in 7 years, and whom H hasn't met yet at all) but it would mean it costs us an extra $3000= no
- kids come home with their mum earlier= no
No reasons, just no.
And a few others that have left my mind.
She absolutely refuses to discuss it. What else can we do? She knows noone can collect them with the dates she has given. And AGAIN she has to ok the dates with H BEFORE booking as she needs permission to take them.
She okay'ed her dates with us 8 months ago- we worked our holiday around her preferred dates. She has now changed that.
The reason they cannot come home with her is she is coming back to Sydney because of work and has to then travel for work, and cannot take the kids. She has known this for 6 months but said nothing.
@delirium I am not angry at all, and apologise if I have come across that way. There is literally noone to collect them, and she refuses to discuss it.
@HollyGolightly81 we worked our dates around her, so she cannot claim we are inflexible. We are going to Europe for 10 days (14 incl flights) and worked it all out 8 months ago. The kids are staying behind as she has no one to watch them (and I'm sure they'd also enjoy it to an extent- night times would be very difficult for the younger) while she works out of state.
H refuses to pay for his kids to be in danger- not just the UM thing, but the refusal to discuss the fact that she has changed details which puts the kids in a position where noone can collect them.
If we don't pay for their flights, she won't take them. She would, honestly, just go herself and we would have the kids (she has done this before when we couldn't afford the flights).
We really cannot afford that extra $3000 to change H's flights... and we shouldn't have to. Instead we can cancel the holiday for an $800 fee, and theirs isn't paid in full yet so we only lose the deposit.
ETA: we also suggested that we pay for her to fly back to collect the kids once her work stuff is complete (her dad is retired and happy to have the kids solo for a few extra days)
Last edited by DT75; 17-11-2015 at 18:06.
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17-11-2015 18:29 #39
@DT75 Whoa that is a really awful situation and so frustrating when you can't get any type of discussion or answer out of her. What sort of relationship does your DH have with the grandfather? Is it possible to bypass her completely and make arrangements directly with him? If he's happy to have the kids a few extra days and you can pick them up from him, then that seems like a great alternative. Why would the bio-mum need to approve that? She has relinquished her time with them anyway, so what would it matter if you guys picked them up after the three days extra days, rather than them flying as UM three days earlier with no one to pick them up. The grandfather sounds like he is pretty easy going and is happy to have the kids, so can you organise anything directly with him?
17-11-2015 18:32 #40
That is absolutely ridiculous! You've given her lots of options.
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