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  1. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by Janesmum123 View Post
    So how is he going to refuse? Through court, parenting plans are not worth the paper they are written on unless both parents stick to them. I can pretty much do what I want and so can ex. The only way we can stop each other is through court which means time and money. And even in court he will need a good reason and she will have her side. Flying as an UM is not a risk to their safety or neglect. I'm not sure if you can somehow contact the airport and refuse their travel domestically, it may be possible. He can refuse them to go on holidays and she may respect his decision but she may not.
    We pay for the kids' flights and insurance. His refusing for them to go on holiday is more than just saying no. She cannot afford it.

    Quote Originally Posted by Sonja View Post
    Janesmum is right. His option is to go to court.

    This is one of those areas where the answer isn't cut and dried. Every couple will at some point in their parenting journey disagree over the appropriate age their kids can do something. The solution is the pretty much the same whether you are separated or together. You negotiate or one parent goes against the other parents wishes and does it anyway.

    I've let my eldest do things I know she's capable of that I know my DH wouldn't agree with. Nothing as serious as your H's situation but things I think based on my judgment of my kids they can do. Not often but I have done this.

    This is a difference of opinion between your H and his ex. Apart from going no to court there isn't much (I don't think anyway) he can really do.
    Actually there is a legally valid reason why she is being held to the parenting agreement in cases where H is uncomfortable with her decisions. I won't go into it, as it is an ongoing case, but she is "not fit to make solo parenting decisions" legally.

  2. #12
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    Honestly I agree that there's not much he can do. I personally would be ok with interstate travel at that age but I do understand that sometimes something feels really...just *wrong* and it's really hard to articulate why. Unfortunately it's one of those things that is very hard to negotiate and compromise on, especially when separated.

    But just because there's very little he can do stop it doesn't mean you have to be willing/available to meet them at the airport or to change your plans to do so. It's not your problem, after all 😇

  3. #13
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    Default Consent for Unaccompanied Minors

    Quote Originally Posted by DT75 View Post
    We pay for the kids' flights and insurance. His refusing for them to go on holiday is more than just saying no. She cannot afford it.



    Actually there is a legally valid reason why she is being held to the parenting agreement in cases where H is uncomfortable with her decisions. I won't go into it, as it is an ongoing case, but she is "not fit to make solo parenting decisions" legally.
    It's hard to answer then in a vacuum. If there's more to it than you are prepared to share then see a lawyer. Or go to the family court. I don't think you'll get the answers on here.

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    At the end of the day it's up to him what he chooses. We don't know the case or the story. But I know a thing or two about family law and I can tell you that it is a joke. Pretty much nothing is enforceable you can even break court orders and just keep going in the court merry go round.

    Trying to parent kids with someone you are no longer with is extremely difficult. And getting into arguements about these things just ends up affecting the kids more than anything, they are the ones that suffer while the parents bicker. There are things I am uncomfortable about that my ex does with kids and the other way around but we make it work by biting our tongues. There is a difference between doing something that puts the kids in real danger and doing something that I am uncomfortable with. If I was in your DH shoes I would not be cancelling kids holidays and would make alternate arrangements as difficult and frustrating as it may be. However I would let ex know how I feel and that this should not happen again. Maybe if you have an upcoming court date mention it so its placed in court orders etc.
    But hey your life his kids do whatever you wanna do.

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    Your post puzzles me slightly. You ask whether she can go ahead with unaccompanied minor travel in the original post but then reply to a previous poster saying you know she can do it with only one signature. You also ask what your dh can do but then seem to be dismissing every comment or suggestion offered. I guess I'm just wondering whether you were looking to vent or were open to suggestions? I hope this doesn't come across as rude, I just wanted to clarify so you can get what you're looking for out of the thread.

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    Guess it was just frustation at yet another way the kids miss out because their mother refuses to be open and honest.

    H came home 20 mins ago and said he had contacted local police/court and his advocate in relation to the kids. H's advocate has spoken to her 'person' (I don't think he is an advocate) and advised that the holiday should be cancelled.

    Looks like ours will be too....

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    Quote Originally Posted by BettyV View Post
    Your post puzzles me slightly. You ask whether she can go ahead with unaccompanied minor travel in the original post but then reply to a previous poster saying you know she can do it with only one signature. You also ask what your dh can do but then seem to be dismissing every comment or suggestion offered. I guess I'm just wondering whether you were looking to vent or were open to suggestions? I hope this doesn't come across as rude, I just wanted to clarify so you can get what you're looking for out of the thread.
    Yes, sorry, I honestly didn't know the answer to my question regarding UMs initially, but found a website explaining it.

    Always open to suggestions, but am just frustrated that we are yet again talking to a wall. But God forbid we differ from things slightly.
    Just offering more info about the circumstances, but yes things are being dismissed as they don't suit.

    Anyway, see post above. Things are pretty much sorted.

  11. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by DT75 View Post
    Actually there is a legally valid reason why she is being held to the parenting agreement in cases where H is uncomfortable with her decisions. I won't go into it, as it is an ongoing case, but she is "not fit to make solo parenting decisions" legally.
    You would possibly still need to go to court if to enforce the "not fit to make solo parenting decisions". I think you would be best discussing all the whole history with a family lawyer as there is a lot more to this than what you have posted. A sternly worded letter from a lawyer may have some effect and help. At any rate if she stands firm, my understanding from the family court system is the standards aren't all that high and I dont think you would get very far taking the unaccompanied minor issue to court.

    From your post it sounds to me like this is really about so much more than unaccompanied minors on a flight and the crux of the issue sounds more like an ongoing communication issue and lack of respect. It certainly does sound extremely inconsiderate of her to organise her holidays when she knew there was going to be a clash with your overseas travel dates.

    Having said that, I would urge you to carefully consider withdrawing permission for the holiday. Unfortunately it will put the children in the middle and only cause them distress.

    Are there any work arounds? Do you have family who could meet the children at the airport and care for them until you get back? Does the exwife have family who could do the same?

  12. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by DT75 View Post
    Guess it was just frustation at yet another way the kids miss out because their mother refuses to be open and honest.

    H came home 20 mins ago and said he had contacted local police/court and his advocate in relation to the kids. H's advocate has spoken to her 'person' (I don't think he is an advocate) and advised that the holiday should be cancelled.

    Looks like ours will be too....
    That's extreme. I don't understand why he went to the police and why you both need to cancel your respective holidays.

    Can't you attempt to work something out?

    This way everyone loses and it really puts the kids in the middle.

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  14. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by SSecret Squirrel View Post
    You would possibly still need to go to court if to enforce the "not fit to make solo parenting decisions". I think you would be best discussing all the whole history with a family lawyer as there is a lot more to this than what you have posted. A sternly worded letter from a lawyer may have some effect and help. At any rate if she stands firm, my understanding from the family court system is the standards aren't all that high and I dont think you would get very far taking the unaccompanied minor issue to court.

    From your post it sounds to me like this is really about so much more than unaccompanied minors on a flight and the crux of the issue sounds more like an ongoing communication issue and lack of respect. It certainly does sound extremely inconsiderate of her to organise her holidays when she knew there was going to be a clash with your overseas travel dates.

    Having said that, I would urge you to carefully consider withdrawing permission for the holiday. Unfortunately it will put the children in the middle and only cause them distress.

    Are there any work arounds? Do you have family who could meet the children at the airport and care for them until you get back? Does the exwife have family who could do the same?
    It's the UMs, lack of organisation (she knows we can't pick them up, so what else has she 'forgotten'), and ongoing issues that I cannot discuss.

    All her family are over there, H's family are away- hence why we booked this period away.

    It's done now anyway. Honestly, I personally have no problem with the UM situation in theory- but the way she has gone about it is wrong, and noone could pick the kids up, which she knew.


 

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