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  1. #1
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    Default Marriage counselling

    Does it actually work?

    I just want to leave. But I feel like I'm married so I need to actually goto counselling.

    He's being awful, I'm being awful. I don't want this anymore. But how would I survive.

    Will delete later.

  2. #2
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    No idea as I have not yet been brave enough to go for fear it will highlight just how big our problems actually are. Big hugs hun. Just know your not alone.
    Last edited by jb23; 08-11-2015 at 14:29.

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    It helped XH and I to communicate better and to both feel heard. We made some big changes based on the conversations it opened up but, a bit over a year later, we still split.

    The good communication skills, I feel, helped keep the split amicable. We didn't have kids though.

    The best thing about having been through counselling was that when we split I genuinely knew I had done everything I could to make our marriage work for both of us.

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    Does it work? I think it depends on whether both parties want to work on the marriage and are receptive to counseling, listening and acting on problems. I went through it with my ex-husband and the counseling was useful for me as an individual but our marriage wasn't salvageable (he wasn't interested).
    I know you're in Adelaide too monnie so pm me if you'd like the name of the counsellor I used I really liked her particularly for what you've described briefly here. I went on to see her for some time on my own and she really helped me learn about respectful behaviours in relationships. Being in a difficult relationship is so hard, life is too short to be unhappy so I hope you find happiness again whether that is with or without your husband xo

  5. #5
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    Default Marriage counselling

    Dh and I went to counselling for about six months. We had separated for almost a year, reconciled and then were splitting again. We learnt that we hadn't dealt with the issues initially which was what caused the second split. We learnt a lot about ourselves, each other and our relationship. Things have been amazing since then. That was almost 6 years ago now. One thing I found very interesting that our counsellor told us, was that if she honestly could see reasons for us to not be together then she'd say so. It might not be a magic fix, but if things aren't supposed to be then it can help you be more accepting/calmer as you move ahead...if that makes sense.

    Edited to add: If you see a counsellor who doesn't want to listen to what you have to say then find another one. Years before DH and I had seen a counsellor. The counsellor basically said I was in the wrong and things were my fault. Fully on DH's side. Everyone has things they like and don't like, and nobody can force you to do/not do them. Second counsellor made DH realise you can't control people. It's each persons choice how they behave, show love, etc
    Last edited by believa; 08-11-2015 at 15:27.

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    Default Marriage counselling

    .
    Last edited by mummymaybe; 21-05-2016 at 14:28.

  7. #7
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    Worked for us.

    DH was very resentful for having to go, but now when we argue I see his mind tick over and think about whether he is acting in accordance with his values.

    You both must want it to work. If 1 person thinks they are above it and aren't willing to truly consider what the counsellor is suggesting then there's no point.

  8. #8
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    Thanks I see a psychologist and said I should give it a go I haven't been in a while because of $$. I made a booking for next week.

    I want to write so much but I can't. Sigh. Thanks girls

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    I see a psychologist on the Medicare scheme so I don't pay a cent. My GP put me onto him. Maybe worth seeing if you can do that

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by Louise41 View Post
    I see a psychologist on the Medicare scheme so I don't pay a cent. My GP put me onto him. Maybe worth seeing if you can do that
    Thanks I like my psychologist but I will look for a marriage one for free. It's taken me ages to find a good one. Years!!


 

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