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  1. #11
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    If there are further behavious concerns I would put it down more to 'acting out'. Yes it can be normal for teenagers but it would really depend on the extent of it and the behavoours exhibited.

    My suggestion (since the adult relationships are not the best) is to talk to her. Do not accuse her of anything but just talk. Let her know you love her no matter what but she can alwaya talk to you about anything.

    Teenagers are still very vulnerable when it comes to feelings and behaviours. Govw her reassurance.

    The original scenario I do not find a concern necessarily but if it does concern you and your DH then talking to her is the place to start. Good luck.

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    The child is probably sick and tired of being controlled and probably just felt like doing something she wanted to do for a change.

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    Honestly I think this is VERY normal 14 year old behaviour. My step son is 14 and based on what I've seen (and remember from when I was that age as a first born with divorced parents), none of this would surprise me or alarm me. I'd be more worried if a 14 year old was withdrawing from their peers. What you described sounds normal and natural.

  4. #14
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    Op I ask this gently but is it possible you and your DH don't really know her personality all that well to know if this is out of character?
    I mean one weekend a term, half of holidays and 2 x 10 minute phone calls a week may not be enough to gauge what her interests and personality are like now.
    That's not a dig at you and your DH, the mum or your DSD. Just that what seems unusual actually may not be and that she may have changed or matured?
    Also I think it's great, not odd, that she asked these guys if she could join in.
    What was the outcome? Did they say yes or no?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Rusticchic View Post
    No... Due to distance. Once a school term on a weekend and 1 week of holidays each school holiday break. Twice a week 10 min chat on phone. It's not a great relationship. Very toxic between parents. Child very much a people pleaser and seems to go through the motions as per court orders. Our relationship would be good except mother not favourable as DH has moved on and we have a little 4 year old boy together. I think child buries a lot of emotion and what you see on the outside is not what's really happening in the inside. I try but it's apparent that she carries her mothers views on me and her dad. ;(
    Maybe this is a gradual change and you just haven't noticed because you don't see her often? Maybe she is just maturing and beginning to come out of her shell (I did, around that age too). Maybe she likes football and her desire to play outweighed her shyness. Who knows. I don't think there's any reason to be worried.


 

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