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  1. #1
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    Default Do people take advantage of your good nature?

    Do they? How? How do you get the message across so they dont without sounding b!tchy?

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    Default Do people take advantage of your good nature?

    Quote Originally Posted by GlitterFarts View Post
    Do they? How? How do you get the message across so they dont without sounding b!tchy?
    Absolutely. I get taken advantage of all the time and it usually takes DH to bring it to my attention. I'm working on it but I naturally think the best of people so I don't realise until I'm already in the middle of helping and it's too late.

    Usually it's also got to do with my work which is a field I'm passionate about so I end up giving free advice and working for free quite often. I reply to at least one request for help from someone I know per week.
    Last edited by Once Upon a Time; 05-11-2015 at 11:05.

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    Yes I do. Especially with work. One of the reasons I ceased to run my own business years ago, I got taken advantage of a lot, everyone wanted favours all the time and when I had to say no it made things awkward.
    I struggle with it still, I really care about how I make people feel and I hate saying no. I wish I knew a nice respectful way to do it more often.

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    me too. even tho we have most kids out of all our friends, i'm always the one getting asked if i can help out, or i find myself offering even tho i barely have a minute to myself.. and sometimes i end up owning a favour. do it once or 2-3 and it becomes permanent. it is beginning to shiz me to no end.

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    Sometimes. I've gotten better at saying no in a nice way. I love to help people, so I often find myself overwhelmed and putting myself last.

    My tricks are deferring the answer, like "I think may have another commitment then, let me check and I'll get back to you". That way I can go away and think about whether it's something I want to commit to. Then I can go back and say sorry but I already have something else on.

    The other way I nicely say no is "I really would love to help, but I'm just so busy/exhausted/needing to tighten finances right now".

  6. #6
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    Default Do people take advantage of your good nature?

    Just say no! I know that's easy for me to say, and it is hard the first few times, but it does get easier.

    If you don't feel comfortable saying no in person/over the phone, use the previous posters idea of saying you'll have to check your calendar etc, and then send a text later saying sorry you can't.

    It's great to help people, but it's not great to be take advantage of.

  7. #7
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    Yep! Although I've gotten slightly better. I've had so many user friends over the years. Friends that let me support them and do anything for them, but don't want a bar of it when I'm in need.
    My problem is I'm a 'fixer'. I feel the need to help people I'm not even close to if they're in need, in order to help them 'fix' the problem. I really need to work on that!

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    not really. maybe it's a bad thing but I'm pretty assertive and I think a lot of people are (initially) intimidated by my personality. this really bothers me as I worry I come across as brisk and unapproachable.

    but yeah, as far as getting taken for a ride, it rarely happens. dh is far too soft and gets taken advantage of though, it's always me pointing it out and telling him to be more of a hard
    a$s 😂

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    It used to happen a lot, & I wasnt good at saying no. Now I've had kids,Ive had a few times where doing something for someone else has stretched me too far, & has had a negative impact on myself and my kids because of it. I feel like I am much better at saying no, &I never take on more than I can handle. I just find that I have to put my own family first, & so I know how important it is not to overstretch myself. That being said, I still help people out as much as I am able to in life - just never more than what I am happy with.

  10. #10
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    Not any more. I grew out of it.


 

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