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  1. #521
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    Quote Originally Posted by White Mage View Post
    So our trip to S.A was certainly memorable..

    The flights were the easiest part.

    We stayed with my SIL and her hubby in Christies Beach, her house a stone throw away from the beach. We of course arrived during their heat wave and it was disgusting, so the kids were kept inside. It being the holidays, nothing was really open.. not even Boxing Day which caught us by surprise since in Melbourne everything is open for discount sales. Lucky for us a chemist was open so we could buy nappies from there.

    To get to the itty gritty...
    DS1 had melt downs EVERY SINGLE DAY, and sometimes more then once, he kept calling people names, because he was anxious as all hell. And couldn't handle the changes in place, weather, and after 2hrs of being there in our 5 day trip, he wanted to go home.

    DS2 explored every nook of the house, and was hooked on touching all the buttons on all the appliances, climbing the stairwell to the 2nd floor, and playing with the water taps on all floors. And he circulated through all those things, so the DH and I were constantly following him around.

    The Ipad stopped charging after day 2.

    Christmas Day there were 25ish people, DS1 couldn't handle it and stayed up stairs. DS2 kept getting pushed around by another boy who was there because he wanted to play with his ipad...

    The boys hardly ate.

    The DH and I did not rest, we were changing kids every few hours to keep each other sane.
    For the inlaws, the novelty of seeing the boys wore off after the 2nd day. They were pretty much over it by the time Christmas was over. I still have no clue as to why we decided to go home on the 28th...

    I was done by Christmas Eve.

    My MIL ignored me on the first day. She still believes there is nothing wrong with DS1. And 'admits' there is something with DS2. She got on DH's nerves because she kept rolling her eyes everytime Jay used professional kind of words when describing the kids issues. It was truly off putting...

    DH said he doesn't want to go back for a real long time.....
    Great big hugs!! If I knew you were staying there I could of pointed you to where shops were open (my house is in next suburb) well I don't live there anymore! That sounds truely awful Hun.

    Next time say thy can visit you but if they don't think anything is 'wrong' which it isn't our kids are just different and that's ok for me!

    Having big days here as we are moving next week but dh is finishing up work. Dd starts kinder too xxhope your all ok

  2. #522
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    Before my son was diagnosed, I didn't understand just how offensive it can be when people say "oh he seems normal" or similar type comments.
    When Mr5 was diagnosed, FIL thought there was "nothing wrong with him" and it really clicked. It's just such a downplay to the struggles, not just what we are parents/carers struggle with but what the child is struggling with also. I feel like it trivialises the struggles and it comes across as a bit "you're just whinging".

    Luckily my FIL gets it now. My MIL was always on board. In fact, when I first considered the possibility, I said to her "do you think there is something up with him" and she said "have you considered autism?" I had, and that was going to be my next question but she jumped the gun and that's what really set it in stone in my mind.

    Interesting question for you all...
    What was your a-ha moment? Did you have a specific moment or was it when the doctor mentioned it?

    For me, I hadn't had any experience with autism (well turns out my family is riddled with it but they were always just my weird family) so what I knew was from Rain Man and Mercury Rising. Very extreme versions, focusing on the smarts more than anything.
    It wasn't til one day, I had my kids down for a nap and thought I would watch a movie. That movie was "Adam". For those that haven't seen it, it's about a man with Aspergers. I was half way through that movie and it was like someone switched a light on. I was watching what essentially seemed like an adult version of my son. We had been questioning his behaviours for a while but not enough to get him seen too. This movie was the first eye opener. By the time we got him into a paed, his signs had come on much stronger and he was very obvious by then.

  3. #523
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    Not sure if anyone managed to watch the ndis interview thing on the 7:30 program on abc it's very informing!!!

  4. #524
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    White Mage is offline Today has been cancelled, go back to bed.
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    My Mil has been in denial for some time about my boys, and DS1 acts a lot like my DH did apparently, so there is some feelings there she does not want to face. Which is fine..
    She however for a very long time believes I use Autism and the kids as a way to get attention off people... and it's like, it's not getting attention at all.. Autism is a very big part of our lives and we have to think about a lot of things to do with it. It has nothing to do with getting sympathy off people, as much as I'd like people to understand it's not as easy as people think it is to do stuff..
    Like for example DS2's only experience with the beach before christmas was when he was 2, and he screamed, he was terrified, so naturally we were very weary about what might happen at Christmas time. It is something we were worried about. Luckily for us, DS2 is now completely obsessed with water so it was a much more lovely experience for him. But obviously every one thinks we were over reacting..
    My MIL also has had many disagreements with my DH over the past couple of years over this topic, and there has been some serious fallout. However, her main beef has always been with me, and sadly none of it can be fixed. IN the entirety of DS2's life she has seen him 3 times. DS1 is more closer to 6 now I think it is, and he is 7yrs old.

    Anyway...
    My A'ha moment. I have to admit I was in denile for at least 2yrs, even though I became increasingly concerned with DS1. Like you @Ahalfdozen I had only seen extreme cases and didn't really believe what people were telling me.
    I didn't really have an A'ha moment until I took part of an Early Intervention Autism Workshop. I started learning more about Autism and was like "Oh.,. that's so DS1.. and wow, that really is DS2"

  5. #525
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ahalfdozen View Post
    What was your a-ha moment? Did you have a specific moment or was it when the doctor mentioned it?
    For us it was kind of a slow build up - DS had a speech/language delay already, so we knew he was behind his peers in that respect. I recall it was not long after DS turned 3 that something happened over dinner time that made me say to DH "I think we need to look into DS possibly having ASD". I then asked our speechie if she thought my concerns were valid and she agreed it was something that should be looked into.

    Not long after that moment, DS was really sick with a cold/flu type illness and we took him to the GP. The nurse actually asked us if DS was on the spectrum (she had a nephew with ASD), so for someone else to question it also confirmed to us that seeking a diagnosis was the right path to follow.

  6. #526
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    My son had the speech delay. By 2.5 he still had no words, but his brother, who is 21 months older than him, was an absolute chatterbox so we just put it down to him not needing to talk.

    Compounded by the fact that my fathers mother kept saying things like "your Dad never spoke until he was 4 because his brothers spoke for him" made it seem normal. Though to be honest, it wouldn't surprise me if my father was on the spectrum too.
    I was a late talker as well, so again, i just had people telling me it was "normal" for far too long. But I suppose they can't be blamed. It was normal for them. And I'm pretty sure most of my fathers side is on spectrum or have tendencies with a handful that are diagnosed.

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    @Ahalfdozen I find a lot of people are pretty laid back about speech delays, especially when it's not their own child.

    DS went to a 'tiny talkers' play group when he was 2 years old and it was run by a speech therapist. After a few sessions, the speechie recommended we pursue speech therapy based on her observations of DS (which we did), so I was happy to take the lead from a specialist (rather than the average unqualified person who says it's 'too early to be concerned' or 'oh, he'll be right').

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    Hi guys, we have just had a diagnosis with my 5 yr old. Although he's been doing speech therapy since he was 3 we have only just gone down the assessment path. I guess even though we had suspicions that something more was going on we were giving him 'time' to catch up. He'd been hearing impaired until almost 3 with ENT issues and so we weren't sure at first if much of what was happening was a result of the unaired hearing. Anyway, he will be doing a 2nd year of Kinder this year with the plan being lots of therapy so hopefully starting school next year will be easier.

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    Welcome @giggle berry

    It's amazing and encouraging to see how far my DS has come in the last year through therapies and preschool. I'm sure you'll start seeing your DS make some nice progress before he starts school

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    @monnie24

    I missed that ndis program. Will have a look on iview
    @Ahalfdozen

    My DS had a speech delay, picked up at 18 months, he only had about 5 words. We saw a speechie, but not on a regular basis. Then he started to catch up a bit. By age 2 he had over 50 words, so I thought he just had a late start. We checked in with the speechie every few months for my own piece of mind. He started kindy early at 3.5 yrs old. In WA they start the year they turn 4 by June 30. He was just before the cut off.

    I checked in with the speechie just before he was due to start kindy, and by this stage he had started using a lot of echolalia. He also had difficulty with expressive speech. She mentioned a review by a paed and I had a slight light bulb moment, but pushed it down in my boots until we had our appointment. By the time we saw the paed and had been in school for a few weeks, it was obvious he had delayed play skills and some motor planning difficulties.

    So it wasn't a huge shock to me, maybe more so to DH, but we started to realise DD1 had regressed. And within two days and a bit of dr Google, we realised she was on the spectrum also. That hit us like a ton of bricks and was hard, but to put the pieces together was a relief also.

    Initially she had started talking ok, and had 15 words by 18 months. But by two she was hardly using any of those words at all. I look back now and can't believe I didn't see it earlier. But hindsight is wonderful, right? We had her diagnosis by age 2.5, and got onto therapy straight away. But I still blame myself for not noticing earlier. I think my family had concerns, but no one really sat me down and said anything. I was not far off having DD2 and getting ready for DS to start school. And I was working part time.

    My DH believes he was close to being on the spectrum as a child. I think he blames himself. He remembers not making eye contact and his dad telling to do so. He remembers reading at a very early age (DS is the same). And he also tells me he finds emotions 'hard work'. He is super smart and likes things done to a standard, and therefore does a lot himself since it wouldn't be right otherwise.

    We both have a cousin each with a child on the spectrum, and I believe my cousin, who passed away as a toddler, may have been affected also.

    I try and tell him it doesn't matter about all that, but we are still only early days in all of this. I guess it takes time to process.


 

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