With the examples you mentioned I wouldn't necessarily have written the inlaws off.
My mil has said when she comes to visit (once a year - doesn't Skype or anything during that time) that my DS doesn't like her. Well lady he just doesn't know you. I leave it at hat though - there are complicated. reasons behind why she's not very talkative through the year - I've learned not to take it personally.
As for my SIL snatching bub for half an hour - that just wouldn't have happened. I would have nipped that in the bud. And as for her getting huffy I probably either wouldn't have noticed (when I'm focused on bub I'm focused) or ignored it/not let it get to me.
I'm not saying you don't have valid concerns, just that different people interpret situations/react differently. Based on these examples (and I know there's probably more) I probably wouldn't have batted an eye lid. On this alone I would still occasionally be with my inlaws but spend lots of time in the toilet playing on my phone when they were visiting...
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05-11-2015 06:58 #31-
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05-11-2015 07:19 #32
@VicPark yeah those examples were only a tiny part. There is a lot more to it of course, things that have been said and done which were a lot more direct. Those examples were just in tesponse to a situation raised by a pp.
05-11-2015 08:34 #33
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Last edited by Frankenmum; 05-11-2015 at 15:39.
05-11-2015 09:05 #34
Whoa - your SILs sound like a complete nightmare....
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05-11-2015 09:39 #35
If I were in your shoes I'd be refusing them entry into my home. They sound awful.
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05-11-2015 10:12 #36
Thanks everyone for your advice & support xx
I believe that everyone has a right to an opinion, even if I personally find their opinion offensive. I have lots of friends with different beliefs and opinions which I respect and can learn a lot from. But if someone has opinions which I find offensive then I'll choose not to continue interacting with them.
I strongly believe that your family is not governed by whose blood lines you share, but by who it is that loves you unconditionally & supports you. And if they criticise you its coming from a place of love, not judgement.
I view all relationships from a point of view where I ask myself "if this person were just a friend, would I tolerate this?". If the answer is no, then I think it shouldn't matter whether that person is related to you or not. No one should be given a free pass to treat you that way just because you happen to share some dna. But I respect DH's choice if he wants to continue contact with his family.
I think I will just go forward with limiting my own contact and involvement. And I will look into couples counselling for DH & I as I think we'll face some hard times ahead as conflict arises because of my choice to opt out. But I'm sure we can work through it
Thanks again it has really helped xo
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