There is no perfectly 'right' thing to do as per the books. What's right for you and your baby may not be right for mine. All we can offer is what worked for us.
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01-11-2015 09:28 #11
01-11-2015 10:07 #12Senior Member
- Join Date
- Aug 2014
Hi @MrsSG congratulations on baby Lucy! I have a 17 week old baby girl also from ivf (she's 13 weeks corrected so similar age to your LO). Sounds like you are doing a great job with Lucy, it is hard isn't it?!
I had a huge amount of trouble with day sleeps and general unsettledness from weeks 6-10 (turns out it was reflux so treatment helped). I put in a huge amount of effort to our days and we're in a much better place now.
I also wonder if her awake time is a bit short? It *should* be about 75-90 minutes at this age but all babies are different. Are you going by the clock or tired signs? I found that until a couple of weeks ago my girl would have a shorter awake time first thing in the morning (say 60-75 minutes) then 90 minutes for other awake times.
I don't really follow a routine to be honest. When she wakes I generally offer a feed then we do stuff (play, go out) then I often offer another feed then she naps. I find my baby works better off 2 shorter feeds in her awake time than 1 feed. All babies are different. I don't feed her to sleep though. She always goes down awake. We have a fantastic nap/bedtime routine going now (dark room, rainfall sounds up loud, wrapped, cuddle and kiss, put in bed awake, active settling by pushing the cot on wheels if grizzly). So I guess we are more eat-play-eat-sleep but that's not an intentional 'routine' if you know what I mean.
Her day sleeps vary from 40 minutes to 2-3 hours. I always attempt to resettle if she wakes at 40 minutes and I'm successful half the time. I never wake her in the morning so she can wake anytime between 7-8:30 and she always goes to bed between 6:30-7pm. As her wake up and naps are so variable her feed times and nap times are variable too. Makes it a little difficult to plan things for specific times but I make it work. Somehow. I just remind myself she's her own little person not a robot so I go with her. Doesn't mean I don't get frustrated but I think we're doing ok now and as she gets bigger and feeds/naps less then I think the days will get more and more predictable.
I have a copy of save our sleep. Haven't read it 😅 I have read pinky mckay though and a lot of what she says resonated with me, things like sometimes as an adult you wake up just wanting a cuddle, or company or a drink for no reason other than you feel like it and babies are no different
This is pretty rambling I'm not sure if it's helpful but just wanted to say it really sounds like you're doing a great job and I hope that over time you get some longer day sleeps. I find that if she has at least one big day sleep of 1.5-2hrs it does wonders for my overall wellbeing each day as I can get things done around the house and decompress a bit too.
02-11-2015 10:10 #13
Thanks @gingermillie and congrats on your bubba too! I have read along with your journey (in a non-stalker way!) as I have always read the IVF threads here, and I think you have been amazingly brave and strong through some tough times.
Our babies sound very similar - short awake times in the AM (an hour max), longer later on (up to around 1.25 hours, not often much more). I watch for her tired signs which are pretty obvious now (rubbing eyes, yawns, avoiding eye contact and, weirdly, pink eyebrows!!), don't do it by the clock. She goes down beautifully, totally awake and then puts herself to sleep within a few mins 95% of the time (to rainfall white noise, like you!) so I'm lucky on that front.
I wish I could get a 730am wake up time like you though, Lucy's up at 6 - 630am and although I used to be a morning person, not so much so now with a baby!!
Thanks for sharing your perspective - it all helps to make me realise this is just what they do. Not sure about you, but I spent so much time consumed with multiple rounds of IVF and then with pregnancy that I had no idea what to expect when bubs actually arrived, and didn't have much (any! ) experience with really little babies!
The last few days (naturally, once i posted this thread!!) she's actually been having one big sleep during the day of 2 - 3 hours which you are right - does wonders for your headspace!!
So happy for you that you have your precious bub in your arms finally
Last edited by MrsSG; 02-11-2015 at 10:14.
02-11-2015 10:13 #14
Rose&Aurelia&Hannah, I have so much admiration for you with 3 little ones!! I don't know how anyone does it with more than 1!! I am def going to try to relax a bit and tune into my baby.
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02-11-2015 11:51 #15
02-11-2015 14:52 #16Senior Member
- Join Date
- Jun 2014
Lo so true #RoseandAurelia
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