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  1. #1
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    Default Behavioural issues, help required

    I'm not sure if this is the correct section, apologies if not.

    Im wondering what I should do for my 5 year-old son. He is extremely eloquent, smart and communicable at home. But in public, even around family he sees every day (but don't live with us) he is impossibly shy. He won't give eye contact (well, rarely), won't say hi and bye, he just becomes shy or very crazy silly. It's crippling him (and me) and makes it extremely difficult to deal with.

    He he also still has regular accidents because he won't tell me he needs to go. This is up and down though as when it's just us he will, and he is ok at kindy mostly but then goes through stages when he just has accident after accident anywhere and everywhere.

    No no changes or stressors in our life, he's been like this forever.... I'm most concerned about his extreme social anxiety as he starts school next year! What can I do? Who can I see about this?

    He he loves playing with other kids but usually introduces himself using toys so he doesn't have to speak.... That usually works and he'll often open up gradually but still talks very little if at all. So many people and kids have asked me what his name is or if he talks, because he won't speak to them but will play happily with them.

    Hes 100% normal at home, I can't stress this enough! Chats, has an excellent vocab, is cheeky, playful, imaginative, very good but also naughty just like a normal kid. I'm so stressed about this other behaviour though.... Please share if you have any advice!

  2. #2
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    I would get him assessed to see if he's on the spectrum.

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    No experience sorry, but I read an article recently about selective mutism in children. It could be worth looking into? The symptoms seem quite similar to what you're describing with your son. I'd start off with seeing a gp.

    http://www.selectivemutismcenter.org...electivemutism

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    I think a trip to a paediatrician would be your best option. They can give their opinion and refer on for further testing if they feel it's necessary.

  5. #5
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    Thank you for the advice. Interesting article frankenmum! He fits a lot of that profile but then has none of the other related behaviours. I discussed this with a couple of friends last night and they think he's perfectly normal! Just quiet. He plays well with other kids but takes a while to actually speak to them. Apparently he's fine at childcare too. I think he was bad yesterday which made me quite upset and come here for advice. Still, i am concerned a little as I'm certain his dad is on the spectrum but was never diagnosed. DS feels emotion though and I'm convinced his dad never does! I will see a paediatrician I think just to see if there's anything we can do. DS tries so hard, it must be so hard for him, my poor boy.

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    Frankenmum  (01-11-2015)

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    It's good that he talks to others once he warms up, even if it takes him a while. I was a painfully shy child, and I eventually outgrew it. I guess nowadays they would have called it social anxiety. Definitely worth speaking to a paediatrician though, as they may be able to refer you on to a specialist who can give you tips to help your DS feel more comfortable and confident with interacting with others, and hopefully put your mind at rest about ASD.

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    Botticelli  (01-11-2015)

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    Yes I think you are right and that's what I will do at this point. Yesterday (and it's happened before) he wet himself in public when we met up with my nan and aunt. I believe he was either too scared to ask me to take him or he was too anxious to be 'present' in the moment. I think I've finally realised just how hard this is for him and that he is not growing out of it on his own. Thanks frakenmum

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    Frankenmum  (01-11-2015)

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    Always go with your instincts and you seem to be concerned about his behaviour so I would have him seen by a paediatrician and assessed. At least then you know either way. The sooner the better with him going to school soon.

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    My daughter has been diagnosed with selective mutism and with some therapy has made massive improvements. There is basically a spectrum of shyness and selective mutism is right at the extreme end. Some kids have shyness at this age that they do grow out of, but with selective mutism this doesn't generally happen and they need a little help along the way. The best bet would be to speak to your GP and see if your son should see a paediatrician for further investigations.

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    Botticelli  (01-11-2015)

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    If the GP does think this might be selective mutism, please feel free to private message me if you have any questions.

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    Botticelli  (01-11-2015)


 

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