I know what you mean about feeling like you've lost that part of yourself that used to be fun/carefree too.
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31-10-2015 16:45 #21
31-10-2015 19:27 #22
I love this thread. Can relate to so much of it.
31-10-2015 21:05 #23
I'm 30, have 4 children (9, 7, 5, 3) and deal with ageing by looking forward to my "adult" life.
I've just finished my 2nd year of Uni with 2 more years to go, then I will FINALLY have my own career path, we will have more money (I've always been a SAHM), I'll have adult children when I'm in my 40s and can wine, dine and travel and just do ALL of things I haven't yet done because I was busy having and raising small children!
But like Harvs, I don't at all feel my age, and don't feel as though I fit that stereotyped 30something mother.
31-10-2015 21:31 #24
I'm 38 and sometimes I feel every part of it, but in general I don't feel old...I have always been told that I look younger than my actual age, so I guess I cling onto that lol. My partner is 6 years younger than me and does crack the nanna jokes but I know he doesn't think I look old lol. I didn't ever think I would be pregnant at 38, but here I am. I don't want to get old...I am quite scared of aging to be honest.
31-10-2015 21:35 #25
How do you cope with aging?
I turned 30 this year and I thought it would bother me but honestly it didn't. My 20's were good but it was a decade of figuring myself out, finding out who I am, studying and trialling different jobs. Now that I've hit 30 I know who I am, what i want, what's worth my time and how to get it (most of the time!). I bought a house at 21 so that "daily grind" has been a part of my life for a long time, having a kid didn't change that aspect for us. We have a decent amount of financial freedom which we are taking advantage of now, so that's a huge plus to getting older.
So for fun? we travel (we travelled a lot in our 20's & can't wait to get back into it) and we are planning on doing a lot of travel with our kids. Our first family holiday is in jan, can't wait for that.
We are making inroads to getting our dream home which has been a long time coming (I'm so excited for this!, I'm being a huge goob researching and reading building forums). We eat out a lot, get coffees and cakes, take ds to heaps of activities and fun things, and for me that rocks way more than wearing short skirts and heels trying to find a taxi at 4am in the cold!
All of our friends are coupled up with kids, so we have kid free catch ups as much as we can too. We've planned a huge kid free pre-nye party at our place which is gonna rock! Cannot wait!
On other nights, dh and I crack open a bottle, watch a movie or binge a TV series and get some takeaway once ds is in bed.
However I could do without the wrinkles, and am gunning for a boob lift once I've finished with kids 😉
Last edited by Pearlygirl; 31-10-2015 at 21:40.
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31-10-2015 22:12 #26
I had my 30th birthday last week and it didn't faze me. I had my meltdown at 27. I finally know what I want to do career wise and next year my family will finally be complete, albeit much smaller than we ever paned. I live in a different country to ALL my friends and family so I leave the dancing all night and watching the sun rise for when I see them. It makes it all worth while.
31-10-2015 22:46 #27
I'm 37 and my life gets better the older I get, in terms of being comfortable within my own skin and making better choices which in turn have a positive impact on my happiness.
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01-11-2015 13:24 #28
Love all your responses, thank you! And yes, you do all have a very good point that getting old is certainly better than the alternative. I just wish time weren't so annoyingly linear!
For the record, I do have a good life now and get plenty of enjoyment from home and family. But I still unhealthily long for the alternative timeline where I never got pregnant, had a couple more fun and wild years, and let my 20s gently fade out instead of being abruptly cut short.
I also have a whole other related thread about how the hell do you have a s3x life once married with children but I'll save that one for another day
Last edited by deku; 01-11-2015 at 13:30.
01-11-2015 16:26 #29
I make a conscious choice to acknowledge that I am blessed to be ageing, because the alternative is far worse.
But aside from that I don't feel old, I am enjoying this phase in my life, it is different but not worse than what came before
01-11-2015 16:41 #30
I hated life as a youngster. I felt useless and pointless. I had no real friends and there was no meaning to my life. Most days I wished I didn't exist.
Since having children I have a purpose. I still don't have really true close friends, but have a few friends made through the kids, and of course I have them, and they are my best friends.
I was a very immature person right up until I had kids, I drank too much, I partied too much and I slept around too much. It didn't make me happy.
There are things I miss, like my horses and karate, and being able to sleep off a hangover or get up and go out wherever I wanted and stay there until I was ready to come home - but I didn't appreciate any of those things until I didn't have them. They meant nothing. I know I'll be able to do all those things again one day when my kids are teens and it will mean so much more now.
Like others have said, I barely feel like an adult. I'm nearly 35 years old, but I feel like I only became an adult 6 years ago, so I still feel weird about adulting. I'm great at responsibility as far as looking after my kids and working goes, but I'm still clueless when it comes to cooking and cleaning. I just never got to that bit.
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