Fighting with your spouse

[Sonja]

Does he actually like his job? It sounds to me like he resents that you get to stay at home while he works. Is it possible he feels under pressure as the sole breadwinner?

Just playing devils advocate as my DH hates being the sole breadwinner. So I work part time because I enjoy it but also it (strangely enough) makes him appreciate me more as he has to step up his work around the home.

This is just something I've noticed in my relationship. My Dh is far from a pig but I have noticed an element of resentment when I haven't been working.

How old is your child?

[AdornedWithCats]

Does he actually like his job? It sounds to me like he resents that you get to stay at home while he works. Is it possible he feels under pressure as the sole breadwinner?

Just playing devils advocate as my DH hates being the sole breadwinner.

This is a good point. I forgot to mention my dh also said he is jealous because he doesn't really like his job (not challenging enough for him). And I know he secretly hopes when I finish my degree I'll be the "breadwinner" and he can "live it up" being a sahd. I can't see that ever happening though.😂

[Theboys&me]

I'm probably going to be stoned for saying this... But I'm not sure why you'd need him to help around the house if you get 3 child free days a week??

Maybe my view is warped because I'm a single mummy so obviously I do everything... But I get one kid free day a week, one day with DS2 home and 3 days working. I have no idea what I'd do with myself if I had 3 days off. Or do you have another child at home??

I'm not trying to be rude but in all honesty if I had a partner at home kid free for close to half the week while I was working... I'd probably feel disgruntled too.

*running to hide now!!*

[Sonja]

I'm probably going to be stoned for saying this... But I'm not sure why you'd need him to help around the house if you get 3 child free days a week??

Maybe my view is warped because I'm a single mummy so obviously I do everything... But I get one kid free day a week, one day with DS2 home and 3 days working. I have no idea what I'd do with myself if I had 3 days off. Or do you have another child at home??

I'm not trying to be rude but in all honesty if I had a partner at home kid free for close to half the week while I was working... I'd probably feel disgruntled too.

*running to hide now!!*

I didn't know the OP's child was in care 3 days a week. That definitely makes me think resentment is a big part of this ongoing fight.

OP I would sit down and ask him why he's so angry at you. Be prepared to not like the answers.

Honestly my DH would be very similar in this situation (unless of course there's a reason that we aren't aware of).

[Theboys&me]

I didn't know the OP's child was in care 3 days a week. That definitely makes me thing resentment is a big part of this ongoing fight.

OP I would sit down and ask him why he's so angry at you. Be prepared to not like the answers.

Honestly my DH would be very similar in this situation (unless of course there's a reason that we aren't aware of).

I may have read it wrong... I've been known to do that

[Theboys&me]

Hugs right back at you Xx

I get 3 days a week where DD goes to daycare but DH thinks I sit around scratching my a$$. I use those days to catch up on housework/errands etc but yet when he comes home, the first thing he'll say is "Tough life you've got huh?"
Makes me so mad 👿👿

Was based on this .. Sorry if I've misinterpreted it.

[ICanDream]

...

[FirstTimeMummy2012]

Does he actually like his job? It sounds to me like he resents that you get to stay at home while he works. Is it possible he feels under pressure as the sole breadwinner?

Just playing devils advocate as my DH hates being the sole breadwinner. So I work part time because I enjoy it but also it (strangely enough) makes him appreciate me more as he has to step up his work around the home.

This is just something I've noticed in my relationship. My Dh is far from a pig but I have noticed an element of resentment when I haven't been working.

How old is your child?

Yeah my DH is far from a pig to. I really don't like that he was called that.
You're absolutely right. I do believe he resents that I get to stay home and constantly tells me I don't need to work but yet I know he prefers that I do. I was working 2-3 days a week up until 2 weeks ago and you've just made me realise that this argument wasn't happening during that time I was working. I also noticed he helped way more on the days I worked ...
DD is 2.5.

[Sonja]

Yeah my DH is far from a pig to. I really don't like that he was called that.
You're absolutely right. I do believe he resents that I get to stay home and constantly tells me I don't need to work but yet I know he prefers that I do. I was working 2-3 days a week up until 2 weeks ago and you've just made me realise that this argument wasn't happening during that time I was working. I also noticed he helped way more on the days I worked ...
DD is 2.5.

Yeah it's hard when they won't come out and say it. He probably thinks he's saying all the right things telling you you don't have to work when he feels resentment and frustration.

Do you want to go back to work?

[FirstTimeMummy2012]

I'm probably going to be stoned for saying this... But I'm not sure why you'd need him to help around the house if you get 3 child free days a week??

Maybe my view is warped because I'm a single mummy so obviously I do everything... But I get one kid free day a week, one day with DS2 home and 3 days working. I have no idea what I'd do with myself if I had 3 days off. Or do you have another child at home??

I'm not trying to be rude but in all honesty if I had a partner at home kid free for close to half the week while I was working... I'd probably feel disgruntled too.

*running to hide now!!*

Nope, no need to hide. You make a very valid point.