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  1. #821
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    Quote Originally Posted by SuperGranny View Post
    Heavenblue, I wish I could come round and give you a hand. You have so much on your plate, and no one to take a bit of the load. hugs, maire.
    I appreciate that SuperGranny. Thank you

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    SuperGranny  (19-07-2016)

  3. #822
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    Quote Originally Posted by binnielici View Post
    @HeavenBlue that just absolutely sucks. I'm so sorry your DH is being an ***. I wish there was more I could say or do. I just don't understand how some people can be so oblivious to the suffering of those they profess to love - and totally understand your feelings of resignation too. Do what ever you have to do to get through the day - tv, treats, whatever works! Stuff the housework just try and get some rest if you can xx
    Funny thing is, I really don't think he loves me anymore. He mustn't. You wouldn't be so ignorant of someone you apparently love. I try to do all the little things to show him I care but I get none of that in return. It's the only answer.

    But yes... I'm doing whatever I can to get through. But DS is having a rough morning so it's been a bit hard. Hopefully his nap helps that a little. This afternoon is a new battle.

  4. #823
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    Oh, @HeavenBlue, I'm so sorry your DH is being a jerk! My DH is usually pretty good at things, except tidying up after himself in the kitchen. And he usually steps up if I need him to. You're right, it makes a huge difference. He needs a smack up the back of the head. I wish I could come and help you!

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    HeavenBlue  (19-07-2016)

  6. #824
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tiny Dancer View Post
    Oh, @HeavenBlue, I'm so sorry your DH is being a jerk! My DH is usually pretty good at things, except tidying up after himself in the kitchen. And he usually steps up if I need him to. You're right, it makes a huge difference. He needs a smack up the back of the head. I wish I could come and help you!
    Help me smack him up the backside of the head?

    Perfect!

    Hahaha... In all seriousness though, thank you. How are you feeling today anyway?

  7. #825
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    Quote Originally Posted by HeavenBlue View Post
    Help me smack him up the backside of the head?

    Perfect!

    Hahaha... In all seriousness though, thank you. How are you feeling today anyway?
    Bahahahaha! Should have started a new paragraph. DS distracted me. Though would gladly help with whatever you need.

    Feeling somewhat better than yesterday, which is good, because DS is feeling worse. I was up with him for a couple of hours last night with a temp that wouldn't come down (during which time I told my DH off for "being a jerk" because he snapped at me unnecessarily. He then asked me to apologise which didn't end well). DS must have a really sore throat because it sounds just awful when he laughs, cries, coughs, etc, and he's refusing to eat.

    Any relief for you today?

  8. #826
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    Quote Originally Posted by HeavenBlue View Post
    Funny thing is, I really don't think he loves me anymore. He mustn't. You wouldn't be so ignorant of someone you apparently love. I try to do all the little things to show him I care but I get none of that in return. It's the only answer.

    But yes... I'm doing whatever I can to get through. But DS is having a rough morning so it's been a bit hard. Hopefully his nap helps that a little. This afternoon is a new battle.
    I totally empathise with your first paragraph. Every morning I make DH his coffee just the way he likes it. He has no idea how I have my coffee. I lay out his PJ's in the bathroom every night. I make sure the things he likes to eat are in the fridge/cupboard and on the menu plan. If we go to a cafe for breakfast I can order for him without even asking - he would not have a clue what I want despite being horribly predictable sigh .... So yes I understand feeling like you are unloved, not 'seen' by the person you are married to. With my DH though I know if I confronted him with these things he would be shocked and offended that I feel this way. He truly is oblivious and I've come to realise it is because he lacks empathy - his work makes this even worse.

    If you spoke to your DH about how you feel would he hear you? Would he listen. Two kids in the mix so it's worth trying, easier said than done I know.

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    Little Miss Sunshine  (20-07-2016)

  10. #827
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tiny Dancer View Post
    Bahahahaha! Should have started a new paragraph. DS distracted me. Though would gladly help with whatever you need.

    Feeling somewhat better than yesterday, which is good, because DS is feeling worse. I was up with him for a couple of hours last night with a temp that wouldn't come down (during which time I told my DH off for "being a jerk" because he snapped at me unnecessarily. He then asked me to apologise which didn't end well). DS must have a really sore throat because it sounds just awful when he laughs, cries, coughs, etc, and he's refusing to eat.

    Any relief for you today?
    No! No need for a new paragraph, it was perfect. Gave me lovely giggle for the morning! I needed that!

    I'm glad you're on the up but poor DS! It's so horrible when they are so sick. And then having words with dh in between it all.... Sigh. Why can't it ever be easy? How long has the poor little thing been crook for?

    I'm no worse which is good news but I'm dreading that nightfall time when everything becomes more pronounced. That will be the real test of how I'm feeling today.

  11. #828
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    Quote Originally Posted by HeavenBlue View Post
    No! No need for a new paragraph, it was perfect. Gave me lovely giggle for the morning! I needed that!

    I'm glad you're on the up but poor DS! It's so horrible when they are so sick. And then having words with dh in between it all.... Sigh. Why can't it ever be easy? How long has the poor little thing been crook for?

    I'm no worse which is good news but I'm dreading that nightfall time when everything becomes more pronounced. That will be the real test of how I'm feeling today.

    DS is on to day 3 of symptoms, though judging by his behaviour, he was feeling poorly for about 2 days before that.

    Night is always worse. Because apparently rest isn't necessary for recovery. I hope that since you're not any worse it means you're on the mend.

    I'm glad I gave you a giggle. Now to complete the image, you can imagine a tiny blonde woman assisting you in slapping your DH. There's a possiblity that I'd need a step stool. I'll be thinking of you, and sending recovery vibes x

  12. #829
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    Quote Originally Posted by binnielici View Post
    I totally empathise with your first paragraph. Every morning I make DH his coffee just the way he likes it. He has no idea how I have my coffee. I lay out his PJ's in the bathroom every night. I make sure the things he likes to eat are in the fridge/cupboard and on the menu plan. If we go to a cafe for breakfast I can order for him without even asking - he would not have a clue what I want despite being horribly predictable sigh .... So yes I understand feeling like you are unloved, not 'seen' by the person you are married to. With my DH though I know if I confronted him with these things he would be shocked and offended that I feel this way. He truly is oblivious and I've come to realise it is because he lacks empathy - his work makes this even worse.

    If you spoke to your DH about how you feel would he hear you? Would he listen. Two kids in the mix so it's worth trying, easier said than done I know.


    Yes!! I try to bring him home all his little favorite food items or cook his favorite meals. Make sure his bed is comfy and clean etc. his clothes all clean and folded with his pj's waiting for for him after his shower. I try to always have something for him to take for lunch or I bring something down to him.

    He would never do any of this. Never. He doesn't go to the shop for anything. Even if we have takeaway, if it's not delivered, I go to get it. Every. Single. Time.

    I've tried talking with him before. We've been through this. His behaviour improves for a few days and before you know it he's back to his old ways. I've just got no fight left. I can't even be bothered to point out the excessive amount of time he spends on his computer. If I even mention it he defends himself by saying he's studying. Yeah maybe 40% studying and the rest is playing games. He forgets I can see right in the door at what he's doing!!

    The worst part?? We're not married!! I do this all for someone that has never bothered to put a ring on it! 5 years and 2 kids but he's always had a reason why it's not a good time to get married. I've resigned myself to not caring anymore. It's not something I think I even want anymore. I wanted it so bad I thought I'd die at one stage. I've done everything I could think of to show him I'd be a good wife and mother. I've come to realize I was stupid and should never have to prove that. Love should have been enough and I think he's just been using it like a dangling carrot. I just have found myself feeling used and manipulated now and that has bred resentment. In my experience resentment is one of the final, dying stages of relationships. I'm at a complete loss to be honest.

    Wow. Apparently I'm being super honest today. Sorry for the long rants this morning!

  13. #830
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tiny Dancer View Post
    DS is on to day 3 of symptoms, though judging by his behaviour, he was feeling poorly for about 2 days before that.

    Night is always worse. Because apparently rest isn't necessary for recovery. I hope that since you're not any worse it means you're on the mend.

    I'm glad I gave you a giggle. Now to complete the image, you can imagine a tiny blonde woman assisting you in slapping your DH. There's a possiblity that I'd need a step stool. I'll be thinking of you, and sending recovery vibes x
    Even funnier is that I'd be close to needing a step stool too! I'm a shorty also!! So now I'm imagining to short woman standing on step stools smacking dp.

    Poor little guy. My DS is still the same a week later except that we had a better night last night after a doctors visit yesterday. He was prescribed some ventolin and oh boy did it make the world of difference for us right now. No waking screaming and choking last night!


 

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