I think it's a hard one to respond to bc only you know what you want. Personally I would 100% roll the dice again as I believe for *me* that you only regret the babies you don't have not the ones you do. But then there was a thread not long ago where a member disputed that saying her mother regretted 2 of her 4 kids. Will you cope if it doesn't come naturally? Only you know that. I suspect that's why there hasn't been many replies - bc the topic is so individual and personal.
My only advice is to think in the future 10 years. It's just you, your DH and DD. How do you feel about that? Does it bring happy/neutral feelings or does it make you feel sad or think someone is missing? That's now I felt about conceiving my 3rd, like someone was missing from the family.
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21-10-2015 09:02 #11
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21-10-2015 09:24 #12
I can't give you advice or know what you want to hear, but I can tell you what I would do in your situation.
I would continue to try. DD took 1 year of saving before we could do 9 months of fertility treatments. We spent almost all of our savings. We had an early loss and were devastated. But now we have our savings back and all the needles and early mornings are a thing of the past.
Only you know what is right. Maybe you don't know or don't think you know. But if you decided to keep going for now, you're allowed to change your mind later and stop. If you stop for now you can try again at any time.
I find when I want to clear my head and reconnect with myself I go and watch my DP play with our daughter. I read a book. I sit in the sun.
I'm sorry that you're struggling OP.
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21-10-2015 09:42 #13
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21-10-2015 09:53 #14
When you can't make a decision ...
I can relate...I had bad postnatal psychosis after DS and was hospitalised for months...we were scared of ttc for a while. When we did jump in I had about seven chems and have now found out I have high FSH, our first IVF cycle was just cancelled because of it, and we have had the donor egg speech.
Yes there are some days where we just feel like giving up and I want to be done. But then I realise wanting to be done isn't the same as being done. We are pushing on because we feel we would regret it if we didn't...
Have you considered looking into immune treatment? Sometimes the immune system can cause recurrent losses. We found out that I have antibodies that may be causing the chems and am now on an immune protocol to try and prevent that. There is a great NK thread with some very knowledgable ladies who can give you more information in that regard.
Be kind to yourself, you have been through so much, and I think your feelings are completely understandable and natural.
Last edited by Patience86; 21-10-2015 at 10:19.
21-10-2015 10:16 #15
Sorry I only see threads when they appear in the "latest" section on the ap, which appears to be very selective on what it shows.
For me the question is does your family feel complete? If not then keep going. Ask yourself if you have one more go in you. If the answer is no then you need to work on dealing with being a smug mum of 1.
Maybe take it one try at a time? Each time ask yourself can I try again now?
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21-10-2015 10:39 #16
I follow your diary so I'm very sorry for what you're going through with regards to TTC
21-10-2015 11:34 #17
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21-10-2015 12:06 #18
21-10-2015 12:16 #19
Thank you for your words too.
Wishing you all the very best with whatever decision you make and sending you huge hugs.
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